


Maybe the Night

by d6dreams



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Belligerent Sexual Tension, Cohabitation, Contemporary Romance AU, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Sungjin is Bad At Feelings, Sungjin is Bad at Performative Emotions, Sungjin is an EMT, Touch Aversion, Unresolved Sexual Tension, and lessons in eherm-eherm, the rest of them are also working in the field, there's forced proximity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-05-31 13:15:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 58,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15120167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d6dreams/pseuds/d6dreams
Summary: Park Sungjin carries a full set of baggage when it comes to sex and seduction. But even someone made of stone reaches a breaking point and he knows he has to step out of his comfort zone in order to repair the cracks on his surface. Even if it means asking--in the name of science--for an exploration of the scandalous from the gorgeous, quick-witted, and charming magician’s assistant who propositions him in his ambulance one night.But when this bewildering and unexpected partnership proves more than tempting, it will take everything he has to resist following his (not broken!) instincts. Especially after he’s already opened up his vulnerable heart to the woman who could destroy it for good.





	1. Chapter 1

The lady was flirting with him.

Sungjin would have realized this five minutes earlier had he been focusing less on the swollen ankle and more on the young, scantily-clad, raven-haired woman attached to said ankle and seated on a stretcher at the back of his ambulance.

He might have realized this two minutes earlier if he had only looked up to see her lips, painted a deep red color, curve into an inviting smile and her long dark lashes flutter as he took her vitals. If only he’d been listening to her voice instead of his stethoscope, he would have heard her quip that perhaps her increased heartbeat was a side effect of him standing so close and smelling so good.

Certainly, he would have realized without a doubt that the woman was flirting with him just five seconds earlier if he hadn’t been beset with panic when he realized he hadn’t offered her a blanket to protect from the cold and, finding none, he shrugged off his own jacket and set it upon her lithe shoulders. For a fraction of a moment, his fingers had brushed the ends of her hair and her exposed shoulders and the odd, unfamiliar sensation that followed provided an added distraction to his already addled brain.

Now, however, the ankle had been assessed to at least be severely sprained, her vitals have been found to be stable, and the woman was protected from both the cold and wandering eyes. Nothing more was left to vie for his attention and, for the first time, he set his eyes upon her as she leaned back to lie on her elbows. The move cause the jacket to fall open to once again reveal the short, skin-tight, sparkly, champagne colored dress she wore. Then she spoke.

And there in the silence that followed did Sungjin finally make sense of what was going on.

The magician’s assistant, after having survived a potentially lethal stage accident, hurt and bruised, and should be writhing in pain, was _flirting_ with him. Should he have checked one more time for altered mental status? Perhaps the woman was confused and he’d somehow missed it. 

“Beg pardon?” He prided himself with his ability to remain calm and composed even in the midst of the worst of accidents, but Sungjin barely croaked the words out.

“Usually, men are undressing me not covering me up.” She spoke with a honeyed voice, hooded eyes, and a mischievous smile, but she said the words so simply as though she were commenting on the colour of his jacket. As though they weren’t in an ambulance with a very real possibility of a trip to the emergency room. And as though she hadn’t been plucked out of a failed escape box on a collapsed stage before being passed on to him to carry her to where she was now.

Yet there underneath the lights, Sungjin saw the tiredness around her eyes and the tension in her shoulders. Despite her flippancy, he noted fatigue that seemed both physical and mental. And beyond that, he saw...grief? There was no way to tell for certain what she was feeling, but a part of him wanted to make it better. A shiver ran up her arms and gooseflesh erupted on her skin. On her legs. She moved her good foot up an inch, and the fabric of her too short dress caught the light—winked at him.

Just like that, the urge to comfort her was gone and replaced by the urge to throw a blanket over her. He was _not_ aware of her. He _refused to be_ aware of her.

“Miss, I’ll have to take you to the hospital now to have your ankle looked at. It could be fractured. Then after that, an officer will take your statement and ask you some questions about the accident. Do you understand?”

She dropped a shoulder and the jacket— _his_ jacket—fell to her elbow showing him once again an expanse of skin he had no desire to look at. “Is that really necessary? Can’t you and I just get out of here?”

As an emergency medical technician, he was been trained to handle difficult patients and situations like this. He was one of the best in his class, and he would not spare false humility in claiming the same did not apply at present. He did not flinch at the sight of blood, biologicals, and carnage. This was simply another test. An attack on his self-discipline. Sungjin would circumvent this if only to prove he could. He _would not_ be rattled by her.

Sungjin had no use for her pretty face and her idle flirtations. She was neither the kind of woman he paid attention to nor the kind of woman he expected to receive attention from. He _would not_ be flustered by her. _By what she represented_.

“Miss, you almost died.”

“And nothing recalibrates your priorities quite like a near-death experience.”

He would not take note of her use of the word _recalibrate_. Neither would he acknowledge that he couldn't think through the sensual web her voice wrapped around him. Sungjin had gone on far too many dates set up by his well-meaning, if ultimately misguided, friends in the past three months. He’d met many women, some better at conversation than others, but nothing in his experience or training quite prepared him for this. None of them made him _feel_ like he couldn’t breathe.

“Miss, you and your magician were in an accident. There might be an investigation.”

She hummed a response. He didn’t like it. Didn’t like the way the sound echoed in his ears and what it said about the way he was responding to her. Wanting to look at her.

She was not for looking at.

Least of all by him.

With his initial assessment done, he shut the door and joined her, and then they were on their way. It unnerved him, how fiercely concentrated she was on him during their trip to the hospital. She said nothing, and she didn’t move an inch, yet he felt himself being backed against a wall. All of a sudden, the adequately spaced interior seemed like a cramped metal chamber and he couldn’t breathe. It was warm, too. Quite.

He didn’t like it, the way this strange woman instantly affected him.

“Do you remember anything? Was anything amiss?” he asked, busying his hands and his eyes on the chart. Sky, she said her name was. He dared not try her name on his lips, wary of the lingering taste it would leave on his tongue. He pretended to look over the rest of her chart, but having her in his space had the words all blurring into unintelligible grey lines.

“I’m just the assistant,” she answered, carefully turning to her side to stretch provocatively on the board. “I’m harmless. Like a little butterfly.”

He knew better than to take this woman at face value, certain that to discount her would be a grave mistake. “Assistants are never just assistants,” he said, surprised at the calmness in his voice. And even butterflies, the pretty ones especially, were known to be poisonous. “Aren’t you supposed to be the real masterminds of these things?”

He didn't follow stage magic, or magic in general, but he’s heard a thing or two, seen snippets of a show on TV, heard about it in conversations. Sky was the magician Ace of Stage’s assistant and, based on the number of people they had to check and evacuate from the casino, they were a popular act. Thankfully, no one was hurt—except of course Ace himself and Sky.

He glanced at her just in time to see her lips fall agape, clearly taken aback by the statement. Just right. He shouldn’t be the only one unsettled by this conversation.

“My only job,” she answered finally, taking a sweeping—approving—look at him, “is to look pretty and be poked, prodded, and penetrated.”

Innuendo, he was sure of it. He edged back, as far back as he could, and away from her. Hers were eyes trained in the art of the smoulder; to look at someone and somehow convince them she wanted them. That they wanted her in return. Even with her makeup smudged, a bruised cheek, and a cut on her brow she still managed a precise smoulder. This woman was dangerous, indeed.

“That is what it literally says on my job description,” she pointed out after his silence.

“How’s your ankle?” he asked, ignoring her low chuckle. If he kept his attention on his job, he wouldn’t have to pay attention to not paying attention to her.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, throwing a glance at her left foot. “I can’t feel a thing. That’s not good, is it?”

Sungjin leapt to her side to check on her ankle. There wasn’t much he could do. He wasn’t a licensed physician—still required a couple more hours and another certification to even be called a paramedic. His sole duty as an EMT was first responder. At the most, he could take her to the emergency room, refer her to an ER doctor or a nurse, and then leave her behind.

The thought of leaving her behind, never to see her again, should comfort him.

Should.

Carefully, he took her foot into his hands and palpated around the swollen area. He’d had to remove her shoes when he first got hold of her. That had been an experience unto itself. She’d watched him do it through those hooded eyes, and how much did his hand-eye coordination suffer for that. Who knew lace-up boots could be so uncooperative.

They are when you’re on your way to undressing a woman.

She winced. “Okay, _that_ I felt.”

Sungjin berated himself for allowing his thoughts to stray once again. Later in the night perhaps, once he’s settled into the comfort of his own home and with a cup of tea in hand, he could go over the past hour to review every detail of this encounter if only to pass them through his mental shredder and pretend it never happened. Then he would go to sleep and he could restart his day. _Recalibrate_ back to his normal.

“We’re almost at the hospital,” he said, wondering if it were truly necessary for him to exert that extra effort to sound reassuring. Though he had to ask: was he reassuring her that she was safe with him, or was he reassuring himself that he had his mind about him? “Don’t worry. You’re safe. I got you.”

She looked back at him with those dark eyes, and he stilled himself for what came next. Sungjin was certain that this woman had something up her sleeve. All night she’d been trying to convince him her hands were empty, that she was incapable of conjuring a rabbit or an endless knot of silk scarves out of thin air. He was not naive, though he shifted uncomfortably when her gaze did not waver.

“Is this part of your job, too?” she asked.

He forced himself to return the stare she was giving him, forced his breathing back to a steady pace, forced himself to remain unaffected by the dark glimmer in her eyes. “It’s okay if you’re scared,” he said. “It’s just you and me here. You don’t have to...”

“I don’t have to what?”

_Put on a show_ , he wanted to say. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on the point of view, the vehicle slowed to a stop and when Sungjin looked out of the window he saw they were pulling into the emergency room driveway. From there it was a matter of routine and they were out of the ambulance and inside the ER warzone in a matter of moments. He was about to hand her off to one of the ER nurses on duty when he noticed something off about her.

She looked slightly lost and he didn’t like it. He preferred the teasing look on her face. The insouciance he knew how to reject. Seeing her so vulnerable like this—yet another unfamiliar feeling clutched at his chest. She consciously hugged his jacket closer to her body hiding herself from view. Sungjin felt a rush of protectiveness surge through him and he clamped it down, shoved the thought away. Somehow, he didn’t need to look around him to know she was being stared at. Of course. One could argue she should be used to the leering, but Sungjin knew a thing or two about the difference between being on a stage and being on a hospital cot. Context mattered. And right now, Sky didn’t want the attention.

How was he supposed to leave her alone now? A sudden thought occurred to him then, worsening his mood. “Is there anyone I can call for you?” he asked. “A relative? A friend? A...boyfriend?”

She shook her head, but the gesture did not deny the existence of any of the choices he mentioned. “I travel with the stage team. They’ll come get me after they make sure Ace is okay.” The bravado was gone and in its place was uncertainty. He’d known her for the duration of an ambulance ride and he just knew this was out of character for her.

“You sure you’ll be alright?” He was off duty in a matter of minutes. Not that it mattered. Sungjin’s only goal, the only reason he was still around her space, was to retrieve his jacket. This woman, a disaster as she was, was dangerous. More and more it seemed that his only intelligent choice was to stay away from her. What with the effect she was having on him.

Pink washed over her cheeks. “I might need to hold on to your jacket for a while longer.”

“I’m afraid I need it back. It’s part of my uniform.”

She was quiet for a moment, blinking up at him from under her dark lashes, giving him the impression that beneath all the layers of show makeup she was just a frightened girl. He waited for her to say something smart, an effort to convince him to let her keep his jacket and in turn a piece of him.

But nothing was predictable about this woman.

She nodded and shrugged off what had been both a layer of attack and defense. “Thank you,” she said, softly.

Sungjin reached for his jacket and folded it over his arm. “You’re welcome,” he said. And with that, he turned and handed her over to the attending nurse who appeared at his side.


	2. Chapter 2

Sky was no stranger to danger. Her entire career as a stage magician’s assistant was built on the illusion of putting her life at risk. Note, the keyword here was illusion.  
The trick should have gone right.

Again, the keyword here is should.

It was the final performance of a limited engagement and Sky was, for the first time since she took to the stage, to perform her father’s signature trick: a modern adaptation of Houdini’s Water Torture Cell. True, her father wouldn’t have approved of her attempting this immersion escape at all, but he had long retired to a small vineyard town in the countryside and thus his opinions didn’t matter anymore. Also true, Sky had something to prove. To her father. To Ace and the stage team she travelled with. And most of all to herself.

Like all the other illusions Ace performed, she designed the glass cell herself and oversaw every step of the pre-show preparation from filling the tank with water, the state of the harness used, and all the locks and keys. Her wrists and ankles had been bound by the same set of handcuffs she’d been practicing with for the past four months and the emergency escape mechanisms on the cell were all in working order when she did her final checks. Nothing seemed amiss. No matter how many times she replayed the events of the night, nothing stood out as out of place or suspicious.

Yet there she had been, drowning inside a glass box with no way out.

Next she knew, she was halfway through a collapsed stage, lying in a puddle of water, glass shards everywhere, and an EMT breathing life into her and checking her for injuries. The magician Ace and the stage team were nowhere to be found. When she finally came to, it was to realize she had been left all alone in an ambulance with no clear escape route.

Entirely irrelevant, the EMT was cute.

Even in the state she was in, she noticed that much about him. It was the only thing her panicked mind could hold on to after the trauma she had gone through. She had shut down completely. And the mask she defaulted to? She wasn’t proud of that either. All that effort to prove she was more than just a pretty face flushed down the toilet the moment she played the temptress card.  
Still, it was worth it seeing him all flustered and pink in the ears. How hard he’d tried to resist her—it made her want him all the more. What a mess she was. What a goddamn mess she was making of herself.

With a shudder, she wrapped her arms around herself and made herself as small as possible. What was it about hospitals that had her feeling so helpless? Was it the persistent smell of blood and disinfectant? The white walls and the stainless steel fixtures? Or was it the memories? Of Sky, in her high school uniform waiting anxiously for her mother to be brought back to life just as she had been earlier that night. The irony wasn’t lost on her. She had almost lost her mother the same way she almost lost her life tonight. The memory came to her unbidden, and she forced a breath through her lungs to force it away.

She closed her eyes and tried to remember the feeling of safety, and her mind brought her straight back to her EMT. How warm and kind he had been. Few would ever look at her, a bad girl, and think of her as a delicate flower—but deep down she was. There were parts of Sky held together by silk string and magic and those were fragile indeed. Her EMT had made her feel that way, reminded her of the soft parts she tried to hide.

Given that she was no longer in immediate danger, she was put on least priority and made to wait until her name was called. So she sat there, rubbing her hands together to generate some heat on her body. If she really wanted to, she was sure she could have convinced her—her?—EMT to let her keep his jacket.

If she really put her mind to it, she could take a great deal more from him. Written in fine print on her job description was to broker deals with stage managers, show buyers, and financiers. It would have been easy. Her general reaction to men in her daily life was indifference, if not tolerance or disgust, but something about her EMT had her thoughts spinning wildly away from anything else, even the throbbing pain in her ankle. Maybe it was his bright eyes. Or maybe it was his warm hands. His even warmer smile as he attempted to fight her fears for her.

Also unbidden, the image of him above her and looking down at her with eyes dark with desire, of his fingers finding their way up her inner thigh came to her in a force so blinding the hospital disappeared in a flash of light. But when she blinked and opened her eyes, she was back in the waiting room the same as before, only now more frustrated and restless.

And angry.

Mostly at herself.

A thick grey hoodie dropped into her lap, stealing her away from her thoughts. She looked up with a question at the ready, but she was left staring at her EMT’s back as he walked away without so much as an acknowledgment. Watching him leave shouldn’t feel like anything, but a part of her wanted to chase after him to sate her curiosity. In just a few sentences, he had promised her safety, called out her poorly executed mask, and now this? Naturally, she would be curious.

Fatigue hit her just as she meant to go after him. An exhaustion, bone-deep and heavy on her shoulders, that brought with it all the worst days of her life. She wrapped his hoodie around her, zipped it all the way up and pulled the hood over her head. Like this, she could pretend she was being held simply for the act of it. She pressed her nose against the fabric, inhaling the same cool ocean-y cologne she smelled from him and his jacket. If she were never to see him again, she’d have this at least. Yet in her heart she knew, it wouldn’t be enough.

 

***

 

Sky acknowledged three things as the medical intern—Younghyun, he added in his introduction—did the rounds for his senior resident’s rotation.

1\. Getting fired, even after already giving two weeks notice that she was quitting still left her completely devoid of any emotion other than murderous rage. It wasn’t about being let go. Stage magic occupied a small niche community, and being fired for, to quote, “ineptitude as an engineer and a bad attitude as an assistant” was tantamount to never working on stage ever again. Never mind the reputation her father had left behind. She was ruining her own name just as well.

2\. Painkillers can only do much to dull the pain of betrayal. Imagine being left behind, expected to feel grateful, that she should be so lucky, the team was willing to pay the bills even after the “scandal and embarrassment she had caused”. That she should be on her knees in gratitude Ace wasn’t pressing charges against her for sabotage and intentional infliction of emotional distress; but

3\. Caramel lattes from mysterious benefactors blurred the sharp edges around the reality that she was now unemployed and homeless. Or maybe that was the painkillers still in her system.

“From who did you say it was from again?” she asked. Younghyun had arrived with a cup of coffee and said it was for her. Cute intern and her favourite coffee, the universe was either kind or had a sick sense of humor. For a moment, Younghyun said nothing though his feline eyes glinted with mischief. Then he proceeded to check her chart, business as usual.

“Sungjin,” Younghyun reiterated patiently. “I was surprised, too. It’s not like him. Performative emotions...let’s just say he’s really bad at them. Really bad at them.”

She eyed the cup warily. “Who?”

He looked up from her chart. “Sungjin?”

“I don’t know a Sungjin.”

He checked her chart again. “You are Sky, the magician’s assistant, right?”

She had been the magician’s assistant. Not anymore. She’d deal with that later on. After she’s processed this shithole her former crew threw her into. When she’s not currently trapped in a hospital ward with an immobilized foot. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Sungjin is the EMT who brought you in.”

Oh. Oh. Shit. “Right. Sorry. Him. The guy who saved my life. It makes total sense I don’t even remember him. Not.” To be fair, though she didn’t remember his name—couldn’t even recall if she had learned it—she did remember him. She remembered a great deal about his eyes and his hands, she was almost sure some of her memories had been made up by her overactive imagination. For that, she willingly blamed the anaesthetics.

“It’s fine,” he said, likely sensing her distress. It wasn’t pity, thankfully. Sky was a allowed an off day, wasn’t she? To not completely have it together. “You were in shock,” he added, kindly. “Shock does many things to the mind. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Too late for that. She still had Sungjin’s jacket held hostage and, as the heat from the cup radiated into her palms, she allowed a rogue idea to take root and grow into several possible scenarios. But first, she needed to get her shit together. As it were, she had no clothes and she didn’t even know where her shoes had gone. It wouldn’t do to go running off in a hospital robe and paper slippers.

“So,” she said, watching Younghyun tape up her ankle. “Foot guy?”

“Hearts, actually,” he answered without looking up. “Once I get out of this rotation, anyway. Doctor’s orders: rest and relaxation. No strenuous physical activities for you for four to six weeks.”

“Define strenuous physical activities?” She took a sip of her coffee and put it down on the side table.

He held up a finger. “One moment.” Then he ducked out of the curtains and came back with a crutch in hand and presented it to her like a bouquet of roses. “This is for you. Anything that requires this, I suggest you reconsider.”

“So sweet of you. You shouldn’t have.”

Scribbling on her chart, he added, “I also wrote you a song.” He flipped the metal clipboard over to show her her prescriptions. “You can pick these up at the pharmacy after you’re discharged this afternoon. Are you feeling anything else?”

He’d asked her how she was when he came in, and she’d answered the same as always. Fine, she’d said. Fine meant anything from “good, content, thanks” to “my world is crashing about me in a most spectacular fashion but I don’t want to talk about it”. Sky was leaning toward the latter. But Kang Younghyun, future cardiologist and possibly breaker of hearts had no business above her ankle.

“I’m all good,” she answered with a smile. “Thank you.” She drawled out her gratitude the same way she prolonged interest on a mark’s attention before the sleight-of-hand that usually came after it. Except this time, she wasn’t making a dove disappear from sight. The one making a disappearing act was her. When Younghyun smiled, what smiled back at him wasn’t the same dove that had disappeared but a carefully picked double. “I look forward to seeing you again.”

“Sooner than you think,” he replied, unfazed. He nodded at the cup of coffee in her hands, as if to remind her of Sungjin. As if she could forget. “And hopefully in better circumstances?”  
Younghyun rounded up his visit with final instructions before whoever was supposed to be in charge signed off her papers. He’d already moved on to the next patient when Sky acknowledged the jumble of emotions in her chest.

Any circumstance could be considered better than where she currently was, but Sky grew up less of a flower and more like a weed who persisted where she was not wanted. Furthermore, after her mother’s accident, she’d learned to expect the worst and depend only on herself for survival.

Sky reached for Sungjin’s jacket draped over her legs and held it against her chest like a little girl holding on to her security blanket. It doesn’t get more pathetic than this, she thought. Piece by piece, she began to rebuild in her mind the steps she needed to take as soon as she got out of here. It was a sizeable list, but she could take care of it.

She would take care of herself. She had to. Ever since her mother’s accident, her father’s early retirement, and her own stubbornness taking her to the streets, she’d developed a mastery of a different kind of illusion. One dove disappeared, another one took its place.

She would be just fine. She was fine on her own. Always had been. The disappearing act she perfected had served its purpose well, and she knew it. All her life she’d been training with smoke and mirrors, it had been second nature to her. It was second nature to her. Are you watching closely?, often she’d ask holding out her hand, in it a tragically unimportant, ordinary dove. But then she’d take that dove and make it disappear—and there what is ordinary becomes magic. And where there is magic, people begin searching for a secret. And what Sky has learned, engineering tricks for a living, is that secrets are never as impressive as the fanfare. So for the last part of her act, she would bring the dove back. Now no one’s looking for the secret anymore. The audience would be clapping, happy to be fooled.

Still, she wondered what it would be like if, just once, someone would point out that the dove she made reappear was not the same as the one she made disappear. But that would be terrifying. If no one could ever tell the difference, then that would be just fine. Exactly what she needed.

No one wanted the first dove anyway.

Why else would it have been chosen to be crushed and killed for the sake of magic?

She turned back to the caramel latte sitting innocently on her side table. It stared back at her, willing her to make a move. All night she had tossed and turned as her mind had taken her to a guided tour of past shortcomings, culminating in a grand ceremony of her latest failure. When she had finally slid into sleep, it was so she could dream about water burning in her lungs and sound of glass shattering into a thousand pieces. Sky was exhausted. What she needed was a break-glass-in-case-of-emergency kind of night. Ha. Ha.

A nurse passed by, and she asked for a pen.


	3. Chapter 3

“Isn’t it supposed to be your day off?”

Sungjin acknowledged Wonpil with a grunt before snapping on the vest that signified him as an official volunteer. It  _ was _ his day off, but the thought of spending it alone in his apartment, pacing around the empty space, thinking, and thinking, and then overthinking some more, triggered a panic in his chest. Cleaning helped, usually. But he’d already done that the day before, and the day before that, and there was nothing left to clean. Moving furniture around and rearranging his books did nothing to calm him. Quite the opposite. He  _ knew,  _ with a sick sense of self-awareness, that he was avoiding having to confront the source of his anxieties.

On impulse—and partially guilt from taking away her last line of defense—he had left her his hoodie, the one he was rather fond of but what was done was done and there was no use crying over spilled milk. The thought still bothered him though,  _ why _ had he done that? And why had he mentioned it to Younghyun? Because then Younghyun had bunny-hopped right into conclusions and brought Sky a coffee in Sungjin’s name. A few hours later it had returned to him with a number scribbled on the cup. He hadn’t expected that, and the next logical step would be to ignore her. He wanted nothing to do with her, after all. Yet the cup had claimed a space on his work desk at home, waiting, watching him rearrange furniture and color-code his closet. At least here, at a community blood drive, he was away from the thing and useful to society. Even if it did put him in proximity with yet another source of stress. Source _ s _ , for that matter. In the plural.

“Had I known you’d be spending your day off here I would’ve just set you up on another date,” Wonpil said, watching him closely from his seat on the collapsible cot next to the ambulance. “I have this classmate from high school that I reconnected with the other day and she’s single and I really think this time it’s gonna work out.”

Wonpil was an ER nurse with an endless supply of contacts across the city. For some reason, he’d taken it as his personal mission to set Sungjin up on these endless dates. It didn’t help they’d known each other since high school, or that Wonpil’s sense of obligation stemmed from that one time he met Sungjin’s parents and shared their woes on Sungjin’s dating life, or rather his lack thereof. It was one thing his parents were desperate enough to hire matchmakers for him, to have Wonpil onboard was overkill.

“And do you know why this time it’s gonna work out?” Wonpil asked.

Sungjin sighed to himself, doing a mental inventory of the current setup. Four other ambulances were stationed near the park today, and all the cots have been laid out. He checked the roster for who else was assigned to this station and a tinge of regret flashed through him. “No, but you’re gonna tell me anyway.”

Wonpil nodded, sagely. “That’s right. I will. And you will listen and take notes.”

“Yo. Isn’t it your day off today?” Jae’s tall and lanky frame appeared from the other side of the ambulance, a pouch of strawberry juice in each hand. He blinked at Sungjin from behind his too large round glasses. “Was that today? What day is it today, even?”

Sometimes Sungjin wondered how Jae, a medical intern, even survived medical school thus far. But then he remembered Jae only  _ looked _ like he didn’t know what day it was. “Are you drinking the juice pouches meant for the donors?”

Jae pulled the sleeve of his white coat back to reveal a purple band-aid plastered on his arm. “Huzzah. I  _ am _ a donor. Take that!”

Sungjin shook his head and rolled his sleeve up. “I guess it’s my turn?”

“Great!” Jae gestured grandly at the nearest cot. “Thank you for volunteering. Step into my office.”

“Not from you,” Sungjin said, looking around for Younghyun and Dowoon. He searched further out, to a crowd of children gathered around a street performer and still not finding them. “Or from you,” he said to Wonpil before the latter could react.

“Oh, come on,” Jae whined. “I promise you Wonpil a thing.”

“Stop making my name the punchline of your jokes,” snapped Wonpil.

Jae made a face. “Stop  _ being _ a joke.”

Wonpil stuck his tongue out at Jae before turning back to Sungjin. “Anyway, as I was saying,” Wonpil continued, “On your next date,  _ attempt _ to at least look like you’re interested in the other person.”

“Oh man,” Jae cut in, “is this like the one where he didn’t even stay for dessert?”

“Worse,” Wonpil answered, sounding like Sungjin had committed capital crime. “Do you know what she said? She said you were more interested in the chicken than you were in her and she was about to squawk just to get your attention. What is wrong with you?”

“In my defense,” Sungjin said, dry as summer. “It was really good chicken. It was tender and flavorful.” More than what he can say about most of the people he has met on these blind dates.

“It was a really good match,” continued Wonpil, woefully. “She’s a pediatric nurse, she’s family-oriented, she’s a great cook, I mean, what else could you have found lacking? I really thought she was the one.”

“Are you sure we should be setting him up with the female identifying of the species?” Jae asked. “There’s a whole range of humans out there, we have choices you know.”

“We’ve already set him up with a guy. In the plural. It was more than once,” Wonpil answered, sounding annoyed at the insinuation he hadn’t thought of the idea before. “That didn’t work out either.”

Jae shrugged. “Have we considered the option that he might not be into romance at all?”

“It’s not that,” Wonpil answered before Sungjin could explain himself. “We’ve already established that he  _ does _ want to be in an actual relationship and that he does feel the necessary feels involved. Of course I’ve considered this. I’m not entirely heartless, you know.” He turned to Sungjin, “Aren’t I?”

Sungjin refused to answer. On principle. He had to maintain the higher ground here, for what it was worth. Which was not a lot it seemed, given his silence was often taken as consent when in reality it was the opposite of what he intended.

“Let’s just get to work,” Sungjin said, depositing himself into a cot. “And not concern yourselves with my personal life.”

Jae circled around him before setting himself down on a plastic chair. “But that’s, like, my favorite subject.”

“And you say I need a life,” Sungjin muttered under his breath.

“Brother mine, it’s stated in the books. I’m a professional, I know what I’m talking about,” Jae said, leaning back and crossing his legs. “Sexual release can be very cathartic. And you, my friend, need stress relief. If you won’t take it from me take it from Brian, at least. Do you never wonder why his skin is so clear? Why, despite our 24 hour shifts, he remains perfect in every way? That’s because Brian—”

“That’s Younghyun to you,” Younghyun cut in, walking into their conversation with an iced americano in hand. Dowoon trailed behind him with a takeout tray of coffee. “What about Younghyun?” Younghyun asked, eyeing Jae warily.

Jae waved his hand dismissively. “I am simply relaying the pros of dating life with you as a stellar example.”

Younghyun’s lips curved into half-grin. “And who am I dating in this point you are trying to make?”

Sungjin wasn’t aware that Younghyun was seeing anybody, but it wasn’t any of his business. If only the rest of them felt the same way about his life. At least Dowoon didn’t impose his opinions on anybody. 

Jae grimaced. “No one. Nobody. Because you are not dating. Your frequent visits to the storage room are merely byproducts of supplying demands. WInk-wink.”

Sungjin sighed. It was going to be a long day.

 

***

 

“Are you watching closely?”

The little girl nodded, her pigtails bouncing. Sky gave her audience another second to confirm that the coin, still in her palm, was a regular coin. With a count of three, she made the coin vanish, reappear on the back of her hand, made it vanish again, and brought it back from behind the girl’s ear. The routine was simple enough, and she’d been learning how to string together these sleight-of-hand tricks since she was about the girl’s age. Maybe even younger. She started with one coin, then seemingly conjured more pulling them out of ears, making them drop from heads, and materialising them out of thin air until it appeared that she had a handful of them inside the wooden box on top of her trunk.

Handy, that. Her trunk. She’d had to move out of the transients hostel she’d been staying at for the past week to give way to reservations made for the beds. At the moment, she was running low on easily accessible funds, hence the bowler hat situated between her and her audience. The last time she went busking at a park like this was in high school. She didn’t have a permit then, either. Neither did she have a crutch stationed next to her, an arm’s reach away should she need it.

But she needed this. She needed to feel like herself again. Sky needed the applause, the gasps, the shrieks of surprise from an audience. She relished reactions. Genuine reactions, such as the ones she was getting from the children who’d sat down on the concrete to watch her pull scarves out of thin air. Like this, it didn’t matter if she was on the street instead of a theatre. The audience mattered more than the show itself. In any case, all she had was the contents of her trunk—the bare necessities and nothing more. No surprise there, Ace and the team had taken away all her blueprints. As if she could have performed a levitation illusion with a crutch. Or could she?

Could she escape a locked box again?

Her heart pounded in her chest, hammering painfully against her ribcage. All of a sudden it was silent. Sickeningly quiet. Sky’s mind grasped for understanding. She couldn’t breathe, and the pressure was caving in on her. Water, everywhere. In her ears, down her throat, freezing every inch of her.

Sky collapsed into herself and curled into a ball. Try as she did, holding tightly onto her knees, she couldn’t stop the shakes and the gasps for air. She reached into her mind for the feeling of safety, and her mind conjured the thought of Sungjin. Of his warmth— eyes, hands, voice— of how she’d never been treated so kindly or so gently.

“Breathe,” she heard him say. “Listen to the sound of my voice and just breathe. Slowly. It’s okay. I got you.”

It’s not a bad thought, the memory of Sungjin’s calm and steady voice. Her heart began to slow to a steady rhythm, and with it her consciousness came about her. When she opened her eyes, Sungjin was there, kneeling before her, as if by magic. Also there, was the crowd staring down at her on the ground. Panic seized her muscles and blackened the edges of her sight.

“Shhhh,” Sungjin soothed, “Focus on me.” Brown eyes caressed her face, the faintest of furrows wrinkled between his brows. Worry there, for sure. And something else she couldn’t quite place. “I’m going to pick you up because I need to bring you over to my ambulance. It’s over there, less than a minute away. Do you understand?”

Her reality came rushing in and embarrassment swept her from under her feet. Heat flooded her face. This was real. Sungjin was real. Sky managed a nod, arms reaching forward to curl around his neck. His strong arms gathered around her, easing her trembling. She closed her eyes for a moment, resting her cheek against his chest and feeling his heartbeat. Then she was being lifted off the ground and carried across the park and onto a familiar scene.

“I keep running into you like this,” Sungjin said as he set her down. He stared at her for a moment, eyes dark and intense.

“You didn’t call,” Sky answered, ignoring the thudding, frantic beat of her heart. She leaned back, resting her weight on her palms. “I thought we had a moment.”

“You were having a panic attack.”

“And now I’m not. My hero.” Even as she said the words, her only priority was getting back to her trunk, her life, her everything. Maybe she could hide away in it never to come up again. Make a permanent disappearing act. Wasn’t she a master of illusion in her own right? Twice now she’d botched a show. Third time’s a charm for death, and much as this life was torture Sky didn’t want that. Best to lie low for a while.

Oddly, somehow, she found she couldn’t make herself leave. She took a deep breath, the scent of clean laundry and soap wrapping around her, distracting her. He was muddling her mind, and she didn’t care. And that was the problem, wasn’t it?

“What do we have here?” said a voice from behind Sungjin. Tall, round-glasses, white-coat. His volunteer tag said Jae in angled handwriting. “Explain yourselves.”

“I second that.” This voice, Sky recognized. Younghyun appeared next to Sungjin, leaning against the side of the ambulance and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’d hoped we’d meet in better circumstances. Also, I do believe I told you no strenuous activities.”

Sky lifted a shoulder. Let it drop. “Seems I always find my way back to you. Also, Dr. Younghyun, I’d have you know I was sitting down. Nothing strenuous at all about my little show.”

“Yet here you are.” Sungjin’s tone was dark, pulling all attention back to him.

“Here I am indeed,” Sky echoed. “We keep meeting like this.”

“Wait,” interrupted Jae, “You all know each other?”

Sky hummed a response. “Sungjin and I,” she let the syllables of his name roll off her tongue, loved the feel of it on her mouth. “We had a...lovely moment in the back of his ambulance.”

Jae gasped, clutching the collar of his shirt. “You did it in the back of your ambulance? Park Sungjin! What information have you been keeping from me!”

Sungjin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sky watched the veins on his neck in fascination. “I responded to a scene and she was one of the casualties.”

In fact, Sky was the  _ only _ casualty.

Jae deflated. “Oh. Damn, though. Oh. Wait. You’re the magician?”

“Magician’s assistant,” she corrected, though she wasn’t even that. They’d talked about her, however. She liked that. Even if she shouldn’t. “Actually, my trunk. I must get back to it. It does hold all the secrets of my universe.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Jae said, throwing a glance over his shoulder. “Wonpil and Dowoon are at it. Do you have a cape in there?”

“No, sorry.”

“What about a top hat?”

“Somewhere in there, yes.”

“Can you pull a rabbit out of it?”

“I’m out of rabbits at the moment, sorry love.”

“Can you catch a bullet?”

“People have died attempting that illusion.”

“But  _ can _ you?”

“Give me a good emergency response team I can trust and I just might attempt it.” She let her gaze linger on Sungjin then. He didn’t seem to like the idea, not with the way his jaw clenched tight and his brows met on his forehead. Or maybe it was a totally different response to something else entirely. This man, he had no hold of his emotions. If he were a mark, Sky would have had him in minutes. She could take everything from him.

She would offer everything in return, and that made him most dangerous indeed.

Jae straightened the collar of his coat. “Lucky for you we are in the business of keeping humans alive.”

“No magic until that injury’s healed,” Younghyun said, tilting his head at her, grinning cheekily as he did so. “You should be in bed, being taken care of. Doctor’s orders.”

“Oh, come on,” she teased, matching his grin. “You said anything that requires the lovely gift you got me I should reconsider, but I only need my hands. See?” She raised her palms, empty to eyes who expect it to be. “I have very talented hands.”

Jae brows rose. “Oh god, you two. I came here for the magic!”

“Should I show you a trick, then?” Sky kept Sungjin in sight, always at the corner of her eye. He’d gone quiet an tense, almost as if he were about to inflict bodily harm at someone. Probably her. He’d said nothing, but she could feel him around her, oh so warm. She dipped her head to catch his eyes and she almost choked on her words. “Do you believe in magic?”

“I don’t like magic,” Sungjin stated simply.

She did not hesitate. “Everyone likes magic.”

“I don’t.”

“Really good magic is like really good sex.” It’s intimate. It’s implicit trust. It’s baring yourself for close inspection at the same time your audience lets down their guard. She looked up at him, feeling more and more disinclined to leave.

Jae snickered behind his hand. “Yeah, we’re not sure he’s into that either.”

“Maybe I can change your mind.”

“We’re talking about the sex, right?” Jae, always asking the right questions.

“No magic,” Sungjin said, his tone dark. “You shouldn’t be out here. Go home.”

“You don’t tell me what to do.”

“Sky,” he whispered, and there was a hint of something there in the way he’d breathed out her name. Something she couldn’t quite place. He hadn’t moved at all, but he felt so close. So, so close and yet not close enough. “Sky, go home. Rest.”

She took a deep breath and leaned back. In that moment an unsettling feeling had her realizing how unwilling she was to leave his space. The truth came out despite the new arrivals with her trunk and despite herself. “I would...but I have nowhere to go.” 


	4. Chapter 4

Her admission surprised herself most of all.

Sky let her gaze linger at her trunk being deposited a few steps away. Sungjin’s hoodie was in there, and there it would stay. No chance in hell was she giving it back to him now. Not after this. She’d keep it as a trophy, nothing else. If he was nearly as smart as she believed him to be, Sungjin would wash his hands clean of her and leave her alone. Take her words as a warning and move on. He should just drop her on the curb and never look back.

He shouldn’t be looking at her like he’s determined to be kind to her. Sky had to break him before he broke her, before he did something absolutely ridiculous like make her laugh. She had given him no reason to be kind to her. If anything, all she’d given him was the same trickery she’d employed on any mark, which made him just like every other man she’d had to use her charms for and against. Sky had no room thinking about kind and warm eyes.

But that was her first mistake.

She turned to him to say something sufficiently scandalous, but the worst thing happened instead. She looked into his eyes. In this light, they were brown with little flecks of gold. In this morning light, they looked sharp and awake. He looked into her eyes, not at her body. He didn’t curl his lip as if to say he could own her, that he already did, or as if to say someone else’s hands on her made her dirty. He _looked_ at her, straight on. As though he was trying to figure out what the secret behind the trick was. And he smiled at her as if she deserved more than the surface talk before taking what he wanted—except he didn’t want anything. Not really.

A flush of heat curled around her ears and a prickle lodged in her throat. Pure awareness washed over her. _Electricity_. A full on jolt of electricity just from looking into his eyes.

It was the worst.

She looked away, desperate to get rid of that feeling. “Anyway, thanks for getting my trunk.”

“Sky,” he said, sounding so worried her first instinct was to escape. “What do you mean you have nowhere to go?”

Sincerity. That was new. Sky was so used to a different range of emotional responses, anything less than predatory halted her. But she’d been playing this game long enough she could manage whatever disaster life threw at her. The show must go on.

She leaned back and crossed her legs. She was wearing a shirt and denim shorts and her hair was up in a ponytail, but she could work with that. “They kicked me out.”

The muscles on his jaw did the most interesting things. “They _kicked_ you out.”

Damn electric fizzles were back again.

Sungjin’s voice dipped low and dangerous. He watched her carefully, and her skin tingled under his scrutiny. Sky was rarely wrong reading people, but she’d been wrong about Sungjin. She’d thought him harmless, quiet, and unassuming. But the truth was he’d made himself appear that way to lull the unsuspecting into a false sense of security. He was lying in wait all this time.

He looked like he’d wait a long time if he had to.

But he didn’t have to. She lifted a hand, gestured casually. Not too casual else people wouldn’t believe it. If she looked like she didn’t care, people would become suspicious. She’d done that already, the night in his ambulance. People see a trick done too many times, it loses its magic.

“Well I did cause quite the scandal,” she said. “Imagine, almost dying. In a magic show. The wrong sort of almost dying, anyway.”

That was her second mistake.

She blamed that electric sizzle.

“So they kicked you out.”

To be fair, being kicked out was the outcome Sky had hoped for. Even if technically, she rage-quit and then ran away. She wanted an out from Ace and his crew for the longest time, this was her chance. Her freedom didn’t come without a price, however. Ace had taken away all her blueprints and all her notes, her father’s notes and journal, all Sky found inside her room were her own clothes. They haven’t come for her yet, haven’t claimed what they believed they were due, but it was only a matter of time. She had to scrape enough money to get away.

“That’s what they do to incompetent employees.”

He had the strangest expression on his face, like he was upset at his own failure to gain her trust and earn her truth. He was brooding, almost. Sky didn’t think he had it in him to brood, men with laugh lines like his didn’t brood by habit. But his eyes had done it. Those deep earthy eyes, troubled. By her? “You’re very good at what you do.”

“I have made a career of being poked, prodded, and penetrated. But, sadly, my career as a stage magician’s assistant has come to an end. It’s fine, I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

“At misdirection, that’s what you’re good at.”

“That—that would be Ace. Because he’s the magician—“ she took a deep breath, careful not to make it appear that she did.

“It’s you, though, isn’t it? The trick is the distraction. And you’re the distraction. Therefore, the real trick is you.”

Sky swallowed hard. “I—well, yes. I’m the distraction while the magician does the trick, yes.”

“Sky.” He tilted his head, leaned ever so slightly toward her. That shock of electricity went through her again, settling at the base of her spine. Making her ache. “You don’t have to put on a show.”

It was too much. Just too much to hear the words she’d never been brave enough to whisper to herself in the dark while she lay awake at night weighed down by isolation. Words she’d been too afraid to say even in her mind as the darkness of a magic box consumed her. To hear these words echo as loud as the sound of a padlock clicking closed left her exposed.

She almost let the charade slip, almost let a soft sob finally escape its restraints and cry into his arms. But she gathered the shreds of her dignity, lifted her chin at him. “My show was over after my less than graceful panic attack.”

She was so, so aware of Sungjin’s eyes on her. Seeing through her. Eyes that were alit now like a flame. Her whole body stuttered to a stop, her heart beating to a still. There was nothing but Sungjin and his slow unraveling of her.

“If you don’t want my help, I will back away,” he finally said. “You don’t have to lie to me. About needing help, or whatever else. Not from me. Or us.”

He reached for her crutch and held it out to her. Her arms were heavy burdens at her side, refusing to act at her will. After what seemed like a lifetime, she managed to lift herself off the ambulance bed, leaning heavily on her crutch. Sungjin kept his eyes on her. He’d been so focused on her, even she forgot there were other people crowding them.

“Hi. It’s really nice to meet you. My name is Wonpil.” Said a bright smile appearing next to her. Then he looked pointedly at Sungjin. “This is the first time I’m hearing about you, I’m so sorry. I’m sure you’re a lovely person.” He turned back to her, still with the same grin. He handed her her bowler hat with the bills folded neatly inside. A few coins joined the small pile. “It’s not a lot, but I hope it helps?”

“Thank you,” Sky breathed. Her eyes flit toward Younghyun who, from a distance, was watching, sipping his coffee all this time, looking amused. Jae seemed to have found an interesting speck on her trunk and was studying the old leather. Their other companion sat quietly on the cot a few paces away. They were all there, acting as though they weren’t all within hearing range, and yet it was as if Sungjin was her only audience. “I should…I should go.”

Sungjin stepped back to make space for her to walk, but she still felt so cornered by him. Like she was wearing her stage clothes but they fit wrong and the armour that protected her was too loose. It was an odd sensation, not at all the threatening sort. At least not in the way she was used to. Sungjin wasn’t going to hurt her. What he wanted was worse.

Sungjin didn’t want _Sky_ the magician’s assistant _._

He wanted what Sky was hiding in plain sight.

And a part of her wanted to pull away the curtains and clear away the smoke and the mirrors. She’d not received any sort of genuine affection in so long. Hadn’t been cared for in years. It left her utterly confused. And angry. All the more reason for her to leave. Just go. She needed to walk away immediately.

“Sky? You’re shaking.”

With her free hand, she reached out for him. He raised his forearm for her to hold on to. The rough pads of his fingers were barely on her skin but she felt him as if he held on to her. He was so warm.

“I’m fine.” Her words were weak. Unconvincing.

“Can you breathe like this? Pretending you’re fine when you’re so obviously not?”

She’d been wrong. He _was_ going to break her. Not because he was terrible but because he was kind and that made up for all the harshnesses she’s had to endure thus far. Sungjin was going to break her because she couldn’t stand beside him and not feel as if it were safe to lay her bones in him.

How could she breathe standing next to him?

“I have nowhere to go.” The words escaped her before she could chase after them. She raised her eyes to take them back, but Sungjin didn’t look like he’d gained something from having her admit to as much.

He took her arm instead, and that’s how Sky found herself in his pickup on the way to his apartment, and then half an hour later sitting on his bed. Certainly he’d asked her what else he could do for her, if there was anywhere she preferred to go instead. But Sky had no answers, no means to an end but this.

Sungjin handed her some clothes from his drawer. “Here. Bath is over there.” Inside the room. His room. A new sense of awareness rushed over her. “Do you think you can manage—I mean, can you—“

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. You don’t have to help me or anything in there. It’s just a foot, you know.”

“Right.”

His room was simple and clean. Cleaner than most rooms Sky had ever seen. Closer to a professionally cleaned space than a place of residence. From what she’d seen walking in, he lived alone. The furnishings were sparse, made for utility more than decoration. Nothing was out of place. Except her.

“And I could just stay outside on the couch. You don’t have to—”

“No.” It wasn’t a demand, neither was it a word open to argument. On anyone else, the one word would have sounded like a show of authority, but he had somehow turned it into a gesture of politeness.

“Okay. Are you going back to work?”

“Yes.”

“Well. I’ll be here.” In his room. On his bed. In his clothes. No, Sky wouldn’t think about the implications of that at all. There shouldn’t be any.

He nodded. Stepped back. Turned halfway toward the door. "What would you have done?” He asked, softly. “If I hadn’t found you?”

 _I_. Not _we._

“Simple. I’d have found some other guy to take me home for the night.”

“I suppose I’m that guy then.”

“Not exactly.”

“Well you’re here now, aren’t you? With me.”

“I don’t know about that,” she answered, feeling a calm wash over her. “You’re smarter than most. You already know better than to fall for my tricks.”

Perhaps the worst kind of deception was the self-inflicted type. When you convince yourself to see what you want to see, hear what you want to hear, believe what you want to believe. For Sky, Sungjin was just another means to an end. Her being in his space right now was just another trick up her sleeve. That’s what she told herself, anyway.

“That’s because I know better than to trust someone who fools people for a living,” he said.

The words didn’t sting. It shouldn’t. She was long past getting upset at these little slights, and she’d set herself up for this one.

“Well I was saying I’d seduce a guy and then, you know we would—“

“I know what you meant, Sky.” He sighed. “I’ll let you stay until you figure out what to do from here.” He gestured vaguely at her ankle. “Or maybe until after that.”

She looked at her foot, too. It wasn’t bothering her now. At least not anymore. “It’s too much. You don’t have to do this.”

“But I am.”

“Why?” All her life she’s been taught that all good things came with a price. Nothing good came without condition.

He shrugged. “Everyday I see people breaking down and falling apart and there’s only so much I can do. _This,_ I can do. You have nowhere to go and I’m never here anyway.”

It was his truth and it was already so much more than Sky deserved to hear from him. It was so much more than anyone had given her.

Something else lodged in her throat. Something painful. A feeling Sungjin’s rawness had nudged. In a way, they were the same. That electricity, it wasn’t because of his shoulders—she wasn’t about to think about how broad and firm they were—or because of his eyes. That electricity was a sense of affinity. He knew what it was like to be alone too. To have no one, no one to care for him and no one to care for in return.

“And for the record,” he said, stepping back toward the door. Light danced in his eyes, and definitely not because of the pin lights above. “There are security cameras all over the building so if you do anything funny, the lobby grandpa will let me know and I will make you take responsibility for whatever funny business you get into.”

Sky choked back a laugh. “No funny business. Got it.”

“Alright. There’s a phone in the kitchen. And I the kitchen is food. Eat something. I’ll leave my number. Call me if you need anything.”

“Okay. Thank you, again.”

He inclined his head. Sky allowed herself a moment to think he wanted to stay as much as she didn’t want him to leave. But only a split-second and no more. A few more seconds passed by between them. Another breath. Another glance. Then he tipped his head at her and walked out the door.

  



	5. Chapter 5

“What are you doing?”

When Sungjin walked into his apartment later that evening, the last thing he expected to see was Sky, in his clothes, climbing halfway up his sink and reaching overhead into his cupboards. Her lithe body stretched out like a cat, graceful and agile, but ultimately encumbered by her ankle injury. Even then he could see the curves of her waist and her hips, a flash of her stomach beneath the hem of his shirt.

“Sorry.” She turned to him, looking guilty at being caught. She wobbled on her knee, but balanced herself before she fell over. “I was hungry.”

He lifted a paper bag of food and set it on the table. Then he walked toward her, arms spread out and ready to carry her down from the sink. Up close like this, he saw her skin fresh and pink from a hot shower. Her damp hair was piled on top of her head with some strands stubbornly coming loose. The faint smell of his shampoo and shower gel wafted into his nose.

Sungjin smelled himself on her skin.

Something primal surged through him, angry and demanding, and he clamped it down and wrestled it away. He pushed his arms down to his sides. “Can you get down by yourself?”

“Yeah,” she said, sliding down one leg while bringing her hands down on the edge of the sink. For an injured dismount, it was still impressive. “I got it.”

He scanned the area around her, had to look anywhere else but at her. “Where’s your crutch?”

Her eyes flit toward his room. An embarrassed smile spread across her face. “It’s not that far of a walk!” Sky leaned her hip against the counter and lifted her foot. “Also I hopped. No unnecessary stress on this foot.”

With Sky barefoot, she was a full head shorter than he was. Information he had no idea what to do with, but filed in his head nonetheless. “Sit,” he said over her head. “I got us dinner.”

She didn’t argue this time and took the seat in front of her. Sungjin moved to the other side of the table after grabbing some bowls. “It’s as good as a home cooked meal,” he said,  setting up the table. “This auntie makes really good stews. It’s almost as good as my mom’s. Rice?”

“I don’t even remember the last time I had a home cooked meal,” she confessed. She picked up a pair of chopsticks and accepted the bowl of rice he offered her.

His eyes shot to her face. The bruise on her cheek had almost completely faded away now, leaving her with a fresh complexion. Her lips were full, sweet and at the same time tempting. It was her eyes, however, that gave her away. She tried to keep her voice light, but he heard the heaviness behind it. He didn’t remember the last time he had a real home cooked meal either. It’s been so long and he’s been so busy. He’s always been meaning to cook more,  eat healthier, but most nights he would rather crash than make dinner that would inevitably fail to give him the same warmth and comfort as his mother’s cooking.

He looked at his hands as he unwrapped the containers. “Must be nice, eating out at fancy places all the time.”

“Not really,” she mused. “Did you have a good day at work?”

Surprised, Sungjin looked up not remembering the last time he’d heard this question. He heard ’How was your date?’ and ‘Do you want me to set you up?’ in annoying frequency, but never this. Not in his own home, for sure. He ignored the tightness in his chest. It had to be an aftereffect of the blood drive. No way was he affected by such a simple question regarding his wellbeing.

“Sorry,” she said, casting her eyes away. “I’ve worked with a crew all my life. I’m never usually this alone. You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to talk.”

Alone was relative. One could be in the middle of a crowd, or on a sold-out stage, or even a fully staffed teaching hospital and still feel alone. She shouldn’t have been alone. She should have a boyfriend. Or…someone. Anyone who would take it upon themselves to take care of her.

He took his seat. Contemplated his rice. “It’s my free day, actually. I just showed up to volunteer at the blood drive. It was fine.” Even if his friends weren’t on his case about Sky, he wouldn’t have been able to concentrate after he left her alone. It took him about an hour of Wonpil’s endless questions and Younghyun’s knowing gazes, to decide to leave early and drive all the way to the other side of town just to get dinner. The best he knew to find for a night like this. He was worried the food would be too cold by the time he arrived, but it was just the right temperature for stuffing his face in order to avoid awkward questions.

“Yeah? That’s good. That’s nice to hear. Nothing too exciting, otherwise that would be bad, right?” She flushed like she was caught saying something she shouldn’t have.

Something about the way the words spilled out of her mouth was endearing. Almost as if she would have wanted to be here with him like this if he’d asked in a different circumstance. If she didn’t have a choice due to her injury and related trauma, he’d have believed it.

He watched her pick at her dinner. There was something understated about her now, outside her stage persona, outside all the magic tricks. Even her nails were well-trimmed and unpainted. He remembered they were the last time, but she had been in a show then. Was this Sky, when she didn’t have to be Ace’s Sky? This was her, dropping the act finally.

She put her utensils down and wiped her mouth. Then she took a sip of water.

“Is that it?” he asked. She still had rice left and her stew was still more than half-full. “Are you done? You ate so little.”

She hesitated. “You’ve seen my stage clothes. They’re pretty tight.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “When you enjoy your food, it’s zero calories.”

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. He could tell she was trying hard not to laugh. Sungjin wanted to hear her laugh. He wanted to be the one to make her laugh. So hard, she’d fall over to her side clutching her stomach and crying from laughing too much.

“Just eat. Eat as much as you like. You’re injured and recovering. You have to eat.”

He reminded himself this wasn’t personal. It was just…it just _was_. His wants or needs had no room here. He didn't have to care about her. This arrangement was just him helping her out. Sky needed his help and that’s all he would do. Aid her in her time of need. Nothing else. Once she had a plan she was out of his life. Again. This time for good.

Sky pulled her bowl closer to her and hid her smile behind her spoon. “I don’t want to just stay here and not do anything. I’m not that kind of person. I can’t pay you right now, but there must be something I can do?”

“It’s really not an issue,” he answered, returning his attention back to his meal. Sungjin was nervous all of a sudden though there was no reason for it. “It’s fine. Don’t think about it.”

“There must be something that you want.”

“There is nothing I want that you could…” He trailed off, all of a sudden thinking of how she’d propositioned him in his ambulance and how she’d tried to manipulate him earlier today. Sky knew what she was doing. She could make anyone believe they were the centre of her world.

“You thought of something. It’s okay. You can say it. Whatever it is.”

This girl, she was a disaster. Sungjin felt sorry for her. He could never allow himself to take advantage of her like this. Yet he knew that chances for enlightenment didn’t come often for him. Perhaps he could propose a midway point, somehow get what he needed to know without the power imbalance hanging over his neck like a guillotine.

“I suppose there is something.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Please don’t be offended.”

“You say that like you think I would be. But don’t let that stop you.”

He put his spoon down. Straightened in his seat. “You can decline.”

Sky mirrored his actions, setting her utensils down and leaning forward in her seat. “I know I can. I’m not going to thank you for giving me that choice, that’s, like, basic human decency. Just tell me what it is you want.”

He had a feeling she knew what he was about to ask for, but how could she? Unless this was part and parcel of her expertise in the matter. He was so sure he was way over his bounds here. He was feeling lightheaded already. “You’re very good at what you do.”

The corners of her mouth twitched. “Magic?”

“People.”

“You’re not bad at people. I was your patient once, you were very kind. You’re a good guy.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m very bad at being close to people.”

“You have your friends? They seem to like you just fine.”

“Yes, and everyday I feel like murdering them more and more. They’re well and good but what am I going to do with that?”

“Oh.” She leaned back. "You mean like, romantically?”

Sungjin’s jaw clenched involuntarily.

“Or do you mean sexually?” Understanding dawned on her then. She blinked. “Are you telling me you’re bad at sex?”

Sungjin clamped his mouth shut to not let the words sputter out. “I’m bad at everything leading up to it and the act itself and I want to get better. More comfortable, anyway.” He also wanted to bang his head against the concrete wall. Repeatedly. “I want you to teach me.”

“Say that again. But slowly.”

The idea sounded rational in his head. Now it was out of his mouth it sounded _irrational._ He sounded pretty damn unbalanced. “I want you to teach me.”

“You want me to teach you. About sex.”

He didn’t even need to see himself to know he was burning pink. He could feel the heat rise up to his face and his ears. He was blushing. What were the chances Sky wouldn’t notice? “I don’t want sex from you. That’s not what I mean—“

“What exactly do you mean, then?”

“I—“ What _did_ he mean when he said that? “I just—“ He raised his hand to his face, frustratedly ran his fingers through his hair.

“Guys like you don’t need girls like me. Guys like you need girlfriends. Guys like you _should_ have girlfriends.” Sky was taking this far more calmly than he was. She started eating again like they were talking about the last movie they saw in the theater.

“Guys like me scare girls away. Or bore them to death. I know because I’ve been on far too many dates and all of them ended the same way. Statistically speaking you’d think I’d find one by now, just one person who would understand that it’s not that I’m withholding affection from them. I'm not cold-hearted. I'm not a rock. They say I’m made of stone, and I'm starting to think maybe I am. Maybe I’m cracking at the surface is what I’m getting at. I don’t want to be alone, and if this is what it takes then…” He threw a hand in the air. “I drive people away. Somehow it leads to that. That's not what I want.”

“Frankly speaking, I find it hard to believe there’s a lack of people willing to take their clothes off for you.”

He looked at her, confused at the small smile tugging at her lips.

She continued. “You sure you don’t want to just have me for the night? Easier. Less complicated. You sure you don’t just wanna bang and get this over with?”

“No, Sky. I wouldn’t dare touch you.”

“Right.”

Ah, fuck. He was just making a mess of things now, wasn’t he? He closed his eyes and took in a sharp breath. Then he heard her giggle. It was gone by the time he opened his eyes to question it.

“Sorry,” she said, wiping at her mouth. “Nervous giggle.”

“Why would you be nervous?”

She shrugged. “What would you do if I said no?”

“Either I find someone else or resign myself to a life of solitude.”

She tilted her head, tried to hide her smile with her hair.

“You’re laughing at me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not making fun of you.” She pushed her hair away from her face. “There’s no middle ground for you, is there? Those are your only choices? No…I don’t know…no attempt to seriously date someone who will be patient with you?”

“The problem is with me, not them. I have to address this myself.”

Sky dropped her chin on her palm, the tips of her fingers played with her lips. She was biting her nails. Sungjin had the strangest urge to take her hand. It was a bad habit.

“I’m sorry that I offended you.”

“You didn’t,” was her quick reply. “How’d you know, though?”

“Know what?”

“What I’m good at.”

He had a feeling she was saying something else, something neither of them were willing to acknowledge at this table. At least at this time. Sungjin found he didn’t care, at least not for the most part. “You were very good with me.”

A sparkle lit up her eyes. “For the record I wasn’t trying, you know. I was just—“

“I know what it’s like to put on a show. To pretend that nothing is wrong. I see the way you’re afraid to relax, afraid to not smile, afraid to not look like there’s more beyond that pretty face.” He hadn’t meant to say as much. He’d hoped he could put a lid on his own personal feelings just as easily as he hid away from anyone he had the opportunity to get close with.

He needed to get off the table now, before he spiralled into something dark. He was already halfway there, embarrassed at revealing too much too soon. Vulnerable at the power this woman held over him. Magic, he was almost sure of it. He almost laughed. All his life he’s built a wall around himself, no doors, no windows, no way inside at all and yet here she was. As if she conjured herself into his life.

She spoke softly. “At night when you’re staring at your ceiling, do you tell yourself that maybe tomorrow will be different? That maybe you won’t have to wear your normal people face and it’s still going to be okay?”

“It will be okay. We have to believe that much.”

She bit her lip. Another nervous tick. “Fine. One lesson. On your next day off. By then I’m sure I'm all healed up and I’ll have found somewhere else to stay and I can get out of your life for good. Is that good enough for you? Seriously, how do you expect me to do this without actually fucking you?”

It took a moment before he understood what she meant by lesson. She was going to help him. He didn’t know if one night would be enough, but he would take what he could get. He could plan this, of course. Outline a protocol or prepare a spreadsheet. He could make this work somehow. He was very thorough.

“Thank you,” he said at a loss for words.

“Don’t thank me yet,” she grumbled, pulling her food closer to her again and stabbing her rice with her spoon. She muttered under her breath, a soft smattering of profanities and how she’s not some miracle worker. Sungjin couldn’t have stopped himself from smiling even if he tried.


	6. Chapter 6

The week was interesting to say the least.

Sky learned quickly that Sungjin operated on a schedule that was set on autopilot it was less of a routine and more of clockwork. She intended to make herself as small and unobtrusive as possible, but somehow it was impossible to do so. Her first slip up was asking him to keep the door to the bedroom open. On her first night, after Sungjin practically moved out to the living room, he had awkwardly said goodnight and reached for the knob to close the door. She had freaked out like one of their rabbits being forced into a top hat for the first time. Sungjin didn’t say anything, didn’t ask any questions. He had simply nodded, grabbed a door wedge and left the door wide open for her.

Mornings were awkward because Sungjin needed the room and the bathroom and Sky had to pretend she was still asleep so he wouldn’t feel weird about having her on his bed while he did stuff inside his own room. At night, he came home at more or less the same time unless there was an emergency—it happened once and Sky had seriously considered calling the hospital to ask if something had happened to _him_ because he was an hour later than the past four days.

When they’d have dinner, it was a dance that had everything to do with choreographing moves around each other and as far away from each other as possible. Sky had never felt so acutely ungraceful than when she was around Sungjin. He’d stumble on his words, she’d stumble on her feet. He would try to help her up, she would try to not need help from him. On Tuesday, she was about to offer to do the dishes for them, instead he had told her she was standing too close and if she could please move away.

Clearly, Sungjin had never lived with a lover before.

Not that that was what she was. No, not at all.

The middle of the day was easier. Sky had repurposed her trunk into a closet _and_ an office, and no longer had to wear Sungjin’s clothes or putter around his space. She didn’t have much in the way of personal belongings or equipment, but she had enough to manage.

Her plan was to be able to start working again, but all her usual contacts were ignoring her calls. She almost threw her phone against the wall in frustration, but she couldn’t afford a new one and practicality won over. But she had expected this from Ace. She knew his first order of business was to work on tarnishing her reputation as a precaution because Sky knew all his secrets. Indeed, _Sky_ was his greatest secret. And as long as no one trusted her, all his secrets would remain secrets. It was a fate worse than death.

Good thing she wasn’t above working birthday parties and smaller events, or at this rate any job at all. However, in order to do that she needed full use of her appendages. For that, she had two to three more weeks to go. Less than that if she could get rid of the crutches sooner and make it appear like she was in perfect working condition. According to her schedule, she had to move out tomorrow.

Which brought her back to the topic of today.

How the fuck was she supposed to teach Sungjin sex?

Sky cranked the shower knob and and waited for the water to heat up before stepping underneath the spray. A breath in. A breath out. It wasn’t even a matter of readying herself for him. That part was easy. No need to conjure up fantasies and pretend he was someone else to get herself hot for this one, she already was. It was getting him to open up to her that was going to be the challenge. Sungjin was locked up tight like a secret, hidden and repressed, kept in a safe, and either Sky found the key or she would have to tinker and break him herself.

Without touching him. Or him touching her.

But then, Sky had already made an exception for him. She’d already decided that, unlike her usual, she didn’t want to do this quickly. She wasn’t going to skip straight to the fucking, get out, and go home. He deserved a little extra special treatment. She wanted to take him slow, see if she could bring him to the edge of his control and make those lovely eyes of his shine with something new. Her skin was even hotter now. Sensitive. A spark coiled deep inside her and she bit her lip to suppress a moan. She hadn’t been this turned on in forever. But this wasn’t for her, and she reminded herself of that. Think business, she told herself.

Funny business, she remembered him say. A laugh slipped out of her mouth, tugging at other parts of her she thought had already been beaten out of her.

“Sky?”

She heard him call out for her even in the shower. Her senses for these things, a side effect of not knowing when it was safe to relax, were set to high by default. He’d left early this morning to run some errands; an excuse to be away from her before the main attraction.

“Shower,” she answered back, belatedly wondering if that was the proper thing to do. The last thing she needed was to shock him out of his senses.

“Oh, sorry,” he said. He was probably red in the ears. “I’ll be in the kitchen. I got us lunch.”

She finished her shower, dried off, and left the bathroom to pull on a pair of shorts and one of Sungjin’s shirts he’d lent her two nights ago. The one she was going to steal because she liked it so much. Choosing what to wear for Sungjin in this context had also been a challenge. The idea was to wear something that would make him want to undress her. But she wasn’t even sure he wanted to do that, that is until she had caught him staring at her while she was wearing one of his hoodies. His eyes had lit up with a dark intensity for a moment before he drew it back to where he kept his desires hidden.

 _That wouldn’t do_ , she thought. _Let them out to play._

When she came out to the kitchen, Sungjin was already sitting in his usual seat on the table and she joined him. Lunch was already set, but he was lacking in his usual appetite. He wasn’t even nagging at her to eat. He wasn’t even looking at her.

“Are you nervous? You don’t have to be.” She was very good at what she did. He had acknowledged that much. “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me all week. I’m almost offended.”

“Can we just get this over with?”

She felt a neck vein snap. Never in her life had she heard someone say anything like that in relation to spending this type of time with her. Now she was determined to change his mind about her. About sex. About everything.

“If that’s the case, then let’s go to your room.”

There was nothing sexy about crutches and her half-hopping into her room, but she would just have to compensate for it with everything else she had in her arsenal. Which was also limited in terms of what was on the table for this guy. She shook her head in disbelief.

Sungjin was uncharacteristically quiet in the not-grumpy sense as he followed her into his bedroom. Even without looking at him, she could sense how tightly he was wound up, like a complicated knot just waiting for her hands to work their magic on. Maybe that was the best way to go about it. Magic.

She gestured at the bed. “Sit.”

He did.

Sky stopped by her trunk to grab a deck of cards before joining him on the bed a good distance away. As far apart as reasonable. She shuffled the deck expertly in her hands; loved the curious stare Sungjin was giving her.

“Are you watching closely?” she asked.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to make a point,” she replied, adjusting her position, tucking her good foot under her and stretching the bad one out on the bed. “Since you seem very intent on not touching me. I think I get it now, what you were saying about being bad at people.”

He kept his eyes on her. Always his eyes were on her, and it gave her a thrill like no other. He watched her hands as she deftly cut, twisted, and reshuffled the cards. The closer her looked, the better. These were the tricks she loved the most, the kind that demanded close inspection.

“Every magic trick has three parts,” she explained. “First, the promise. I promise you this is an ordinary deck of cards.” She performed a one handed shuffle, lifting and splitting the deck in half and, with the ease of years of experience and muscle memory on her side, she exerted just the right pressure and let the cards shuffle.

“They never are,” Sungjin answered.

“See for yourself.” She handed him the deck, the tips of fingers barely brushing his plams. But Sky felt it. That frisson of energy between them. She wasn’t imagining that—he wanted her, perhaps even as much as she wanted him.

Sungjin turned the deck in his hands. It’s perfectly normal, of course. Nothing but an ordinary deck you could buy at a gas station.

She took it again from his hands and fanned them out. “Pick a card.”

Reluctantly, he did so. But, and this was the most important part, he was relaxing. His attention was more on the cards than it was on the fact that she’d found an alternate way to seduce him. Sky didn’t even have to pay full attention on this kind of trick, it was a classic she’d learned in elementary school. A trick she had often played on the other kids. First it was cards, then it was bigger objects, more fanfare each time. Sleight-of-hand had become second-nature to her.

After the showmanship, she flipped the top card pips up. Sungjin tilted his head in amusement. “Not your card,” she said. She reached over to him, slowly, letting him see her every move so he could anticipate every action, and conjured his card from behind his ear. “Is this your card?”

Sungjin gaped at her, impressed. “But it’s a trick, right?”

“Of course, it is,” Sky answered, shuffling the cards instinctively in her hands. “That’s the second part of the trick. The Turn. But you’re not really looking for the secret. You don’t want to know. That’s the real price of going to a magic show. You want to be fooled. You want to believe in magic.”

A secret was only as good as what it was leveraged against.

“You want to be fooled even when you know it’s bad for you. You want it because it’s bad for you. That’s the temptation.”

“Wanting something you know you shouldn’t?” Something dark flashed in his eyes, something primal that made her shiver. Somehow, the room felt intimate despite the noon sun filtering through the blinds. It was daylight out, but the atmosphere felt more fitting for three a.m. trysting.

“Wanting something you’ve somehow convinced yourself you couldn’t have. Seduction isn’t about making someone do what they don’t want. It’s making someone do what they secretly want to do.”

“Is that what you’re doing?”

“It is what you asked me to do, isn’t it?” She let the words hang on her lips, let her meaning sink into him. Sky leaned back and rested her weight on one elbow. “Disguising it as a scientific curiosity doesn’t change anything. You want to be seduced. You want to be tempted.”

She could tell he was dissecting the notion in his head. To identify it. To savor it? “To tempt someone, you have to understand what temptation is,” she continued.

Sungjin shifted in his seat and lifted a knee up the bed, the fabric of his shirt catching on his chest as he leaned against his hand. The bed dipped at his weight, but not enough to let gravity take her to him. “I understand what it is.”

“To understand temptation, you have to know what tempts you,” she said. “To make someone want you, you need to understand what _you_ want. What do you want, Sungjin?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Curry?” he deflected.

Sky licked her lips. “But you can have curry any time you want. All you need to do is go out and find some. You want it, you can get it.”

He laughed softly at the sheets. “I want it, but it doesn’t tempt me then? Because I can have it.”

“It’s like looking at a pretty girl but not wanting to fuck her. You acknowledge that she’s attractive, but it doesn’t turn you. You look away, and it’s over. You don’t _ache_ at the thought of her. You’re not overcome by the urge to keep looking at her, imagining how her mouth would taste in yours.” She spoke in a low and breathy whisper, and though he came no closer, the heat of him wrapped around her. “Temptation makes you ache. It turns you into something you could never have imagined yourself to be. It presses you to give up everything, even your soul, for one fleeting perfect moment of release from that ache.”

And Sungjin was the greatest temptation of them all.

Because she couldn’t possibly have him.

She didn’t deserve him.

And that made her want him so much more.

Perhaps the real lesson here was control. Sungjin’s eyes began their ascent from her foot, up her leg, the curve of her hips, the dip of her waist, and up her chest to her face. She watched him in return, loved the rush of pink in his ears and his neck. It took. A great deal of her strength to keep from leaping into his lap and throwing her arms around him, pressing her hips against his as her mouth got to know him better.

He opened his mouth to speak, but said nothing instead. Sky knew with certainty that whatever it was he meant to say would devastate her. Good or bad, she was a lost cause. His tongue licked his lips and then ran over his teeth. Sky _ached_ to know that tongue.

But he didn’t want her that way, did he? How else could he be so calm and collected? So in control of everything? Sky was falling apart, but there Sungjin was. Whole and unaffected.

“What’s the third part?” he asked.

Sky felt it like a physical blow to her chest. She stared blankly at him for a moment. “What?”

“The third part,” he reiterated slowly. “You said three parts to a magic trick. The Promise, The Turn. What’s the third part?”

Sky lifted herself from her repose, suddenly feeling exposed and raw. The third part of any magic trick was always her favorite. Always the act she looked forward to the most. It was the culmination of all her efforts. The part that made everything worth it. Slowly, she moved her stretched leg and curled it beneath her and raised herself to her knees. On all fours she crawled toward him.

Sungjin stayed still.

“The third part,” she purred, closing in on him. “The hardest part.” Sky reached forward once again, letting the tips of her fingers brush against his soft hair. So soft, she couldn’t stop the sigh from escaping her lips. A flick of her fingers, and his card magically reappeared between her fingers. One card after the other, she conjured the Queen of Hearts from seemingly out of nowhere. “It’s not enough you make something ordinary appear extraordinary. Fooling someone is just the beginning. You show them a trick and they look for a secret. You have to make them forget the secret. Make them believe. When you make something disappear, you have to bring it back. That’s when the applause comes in. That’s when you turn _them_. That’s why the third part is called The Prestige.”

Sungjin nodded stiffly, his face a mask of indifference. A beat followed. Still nothing. She was close enough for him to kiss should he want to take it. And Sky had nearly begged for him to take it. Nothing. How frustrating. Her heart squeezed tight, and panic began to throw her off.

“Thank you,” Sungjin said, finally. “For the lesson.” His voice was somehow thicker, more gravelly than before. It sparked a hope in her pitiful heart. But before she could wonder more about what it could mean, Sungjin backed away and stood from the bed, a dozen or so Queen of Hearts falling to the floor. “This has been very informative,” he said. “Thank you.”

Then he crossed the room and was out of the threshold of the door. Sky heard the opening and closing of the front door. And then just like that, she was alone again. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling and willing herself to start packing her things.


	7. Chapter 7

Sungjin biked around the neighbourhood three times.

 _Three_ times.

Three _fucking_ times because Sky had decided to talk to him about temptation, all the while tempting him with the mischievous light in her eyes and her smarts and skill, and that lovely, lithe body stretched out on his bed and in his clothes that made him desperate to touch her. Sky was wrong about him. Sungjin understood what temptation was. It was doing something about it and everything else that came after he had issues with.

Women expected him to make the first move, to take control and set the pace. Personality and humour, those were incentives he could offer. But romance? Sex? For as long as he could remember, touch had been intolerable for him. Other than his parents when he was a child, he couldn’t recall the feeling of finding comfort in another person’s touch. From the perspective of evolution and evolutionary psychology, it made no sense. Touch was vital in holistic development, from a child being held in the safety of their mother’s embrace to the social bonds formed via the release of oxytocin triggered by skin on skin contact, touch had everything to do with togetherness and survival. And yet…?

He pushed the front door open, guiding his bike inside when he heard a startled yelp. Swinging the door wider, he found Sky in a heap on the floor next to her crutch. The front wheel of his bike had bumped into her trunk and threw her off. One sweeping look and he took in everything all at once: Sky in jeans and his favourite grey hoodie, the one he’d given her at the hospital, and her belongings all by the door and ready to leave.

“Where are you going?” He squeezed between the narrow hallway, his bike, and her trunk and helped her to her feet. As much as he could without touching her more than necessary. Hands, and nothing else. Somehow, couldn’t allow himself more than that despite the curiosity that nagged at his brain. Sky’s hands were rough, scarred, and callused, but he had seen more of her than he supposed he should. The rest of her was smooth skin, and in his memories they were soft and supple to the touch. How he could possibly know this, when he’s never laid a hand on her, he didn’t know. Suddenly, he was too conscious of how much he sweat. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

She leaned against the wall. “I’m okay.”

He came down on one knee anyway. “I need to take a look at that foot.”

“I’m fine,” Sky said, “You don’t have to do that. Honestly. I really do know how to fall, you know. I’m a professional.”

With a sigh—and perhaps a little grunt—he pushed himself up to his feet. “What are you doing?”

“I promised you I’d leave after, uh, your lesson.” She sounded winded and she kept her eyes on the floor.

He glanced at her trunk; she would be, that thing was heavy. “Without even saying goodbye?” he said, kicking the door closed. Helplessly, he watched his bike slowly slide down the wall until it formed a barricade with her trunk. It annoyed him, the possibility that Sky wouldn’t have been here when he arrived. That she wouldn’t have said goodbye before she left. It annoyed him a great deal. “I don’t think you gave me your full lesson,” he said. “Did you find a place to stay?”

When she didn’t answer, he picked up her crutch and settled her on her feet. “You don’t have to go,” he said. “I’m not making you leave.”

She raised her eyes. Those big brown, lovely eyes. “You’re not?”

“No. You can stay.”

 _I want you to stay_.

She swallowed a breath. “I…can’t stay. Not like this.”

He righted his bike and attached it to its hooks on the wall, then he put her trunk out of the way. His offer was more for his own peace of mind—a startlingly selfish reason. Sungjin couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was still him who was taking advantage of her—keeping her around him because he couldn’t seem to make sense of what this woman was doing to him. The right thing to do was to help her find somewhere to stay, somewhere away from him. Yet, in his heart he couldn’t say the words. “Don’t be silly. I’m not going to leave you out on the street.”

Her mouth fell agape, and she swallowed another breath. “And I wasn’t not going to say goodbye.”

He raised a brow.

“I left a note,” she said, awkwardly pointing at the dining table. “I’m good for my word, I know that’s not much but—“

He couldn’t help it. He smiled. “Don’t worry about it. Did you eat yet?”

She shook her head.

“I just need to wash up, and the food’s gone cold—“

“I can do that for you,” Sky said, bouncing on her one good foot. “I mean I could heat up the food and set the table and things while you go wash up. By the time you’re done, the food should be ready for you. I’m really not totally useless.”

Sungjin nodded at her and marched into his bathroom, where he braced his hands on the cool tiles and stared at his reflection in the mirror. A meal he could go through, but could he really go through a few more nights with Sky around him? What had he been thinking?

His lips twisted with a grimace. He hadn’t been thinking. That’s the problem. Countless dates and countless faces and countless conversations, one night with Sky in his ambulance and he knew she was the one. Not _The One_ , but _someone._ It was her eyes. Dark brown eyes, both intense and…honest? Kind, too. Not that his previous dates had been unkind, he was sure they were upstanding citizens but they never looked at Sungjin with such open desire.

Again, Sungjin had to shake the thought away. This was a look she could turn on and off as it there were a flip switch. Sky was a performer, and a damn good one if she could make him believe she truly wanted him. But that…that he filed away to think about at a later date. She was a professional, and a professional was motivated by something else other than personality and humour or even hot sex. He could offer her something in return for her service. A transaction and nothing more.

After he showered and got dressed, he found Sky already seated in her usual spot, her bad foot resting on the other seat and her other knee up to her chest. She wasn’t wearing his hoodie, and it wasn’t anywhere in plain sight. He got the feeling he was never going to see it again, one of Sky’s magic tricks but not the kind where what disappeared would be made to reappear. Strange enough, he found that he didn’t mind.

“I’m sorry if I freaked you out out earlier,” she said.

He took his seat. She’d already scooped him a bowl-full of rice and a side of pickled plums. Now he regretted buying them Japanese curry for lunch. It made him think of wanting something but not being tempted by it. Of knowing what exactly it was that tempted him and never having it. “This is exactly why I need lessons.”

She made a face. “Stop calling it lessons. It’s weird.”

“I do need your help.”

“Sungjin, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t need lessons. You need to get yourself a girlfriend. Like someone—”

“Someone to practice with? Someone who will expect, and in the end be disappointed by my lack of, physical and emotional demonstrativeness. To do that, I need to entice someone into wanting me. I need to tempt someone first, and we both know what a potential disaster that is. I don’t think I’ve even gotten to the part where I get to make them want to stay. I’m just trying to keep the situation under control here.”

Really, he didn’t want to go off like this but he was at the end of his rope. The thought of going on another date, only to fail at it, made him grind his teeth. None of those women interested him anymore. The problem was once he made up his mind, his mind was _made up_. The one he wanted was Sky, but he was driving away the one person who could help him. She must have laughed at him when he had panicked and left. His one chance, and he’d made a miserable hash of it.

His bitterness must have been obvious because her expression softened, “I’m just really trying to understand you,” she said softly. “Because I need to be sure this is all you want from me. ”

He stared at her.

For a moment it seemed she’d gone into her mind. “I’ve done this before—sort of—and people tend to get possessive. They think they can keep me, or fix me, or own me. Things like this can get out of control just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “There’s a fine line between temptation and obsession. I’m just saving us the grief that comes after.”

Control. That was a word Sungjin knew very well. Perhaps too well. He thought he’d found a solution to his problem, but it seemed that all he had was a fading dull fizzle instead of a spark.

He gripped his utensils so tight, belatedly he wondered if it was possible he could bend metal after all. “So what do you recommend to encourage affection?”

“Touching is always good,” Sky said after taking a sip of her water.

Sungjin pushed a spoonful of food into his mouth, chewed carefully, then swallowed before answering. This was the part where it got tricky. No matter how many times he was prompted, he could never find enough words to explain himself. “I don’t like being touched, is all.”

“Did something happen?” She straightened in her seat as if she were ready to go fight his battles for him. ”Did someone hurt you?”

“No,” he said, dropping his gaze back to his rice. “It’s always been this way. I’m really just like this.”

“What if you initiate the touching? Will that help?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “It’s just that because I don’t like being touched, I try not to do the same for people because it might not be welcome. I never touch people without their permission, or unless I know for sure where the lines are drawn. Furthermore, if I start, I worry they might take it as sign that they can do the same whenever and however they want to. That just because it was okay the one time, that’s how it will be like from then on. It doesn’t work that way.”

He’d learned his lesson early on, and since then he’d put up a strong facade. From girls who liked to cling and then accuse him of withholding affection, to so-called friends who enjoyed invading his personal space because it annoyed him, there was very little in the way of communicating his discomfort.

“That’s really decent of you. Handsy people with no impulse control are the worst.”

It dawned on him that she understood what that was like, and his blood boiled in a murderous rage at the thought of someone touching her without her consent. That her line of work had exposed her to all sorts of people—dangerous people who had no qualms about hurting her and didn’t care for her safety.

Her lips curled into a slow, teasing grin. “I could just lie there. Let you touch me.”

He made a face. Partly because the invitation sent his thoughts spinning wildly away from him, and partly because, “What do you mean just lie there?”

She shrugged. “As in just lie there and be really still. I’m good at that, I’ve had to lie still inside locked boxes all my life. Or is that too patient-y for you? Too corpse-y?”

“Please don’t use the word corpse-y.” He shook the word away from his tongue. “But yes, too patient-y for me.” He didn’t like the idea of just letting her lie there—that she’d lie there and then what? Let someone take whatever they wanted for themselves with no regard for her? He may not have much experience in the field, but he understood enough to know that it wasn’t just about the one person. Definitely not just about him. Perhaps it was naive of him to think, but sex was supposed to bring you closer to someone. Wasn’t the idea to make each other feel good?

“I could sit on your lap.”

He looked up. Raised a quizzical brow.

“Okay, fine. That’s more for me than it is for you. My next suggestion would be cuddling but I get the feeling that’s too much too soon.”

He made face and the expression on her face said it all. It was a terrible face. “That sounds like a nightmare.”

She giggled, clearly amused. Though he got the feeling she wasn’t making fun of him. A nervous tick, he remembered. They continued eating, and he argued with her enough to make her relent to letting him do the dishes. The task calmed his frayed nerves. Doing simple, repetitive things like this always helped him think, and he needed to think.

After the dishes were done, he knocked thrice on the door before entering. Sky was sitting on his bed, shuffling a deck of cards in her hands and looking pensive. “How did youmake all those cards appear? Did you somehow make me choose the Queen of Hearts specifically?”

“A good magician never reveals their secrets,” she answered tartly. “It ruins the experience.”

He chuckled softly to himself as he stepped into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he was done flossing and rinsing twice, he leaned against the doorjamb wiping his face with a towel. “I need to take a look at your ankle.”

Sky stretched out on the bed and lifted her foot. This, he was used to. Her teasing him. It means nothing, after all. Many people have made a habit of flustering him for fun. Though, some were more welcome than others.

He sat on the edge of the bed and cradled her ankle in his hands. Carefully, he pushed the hem of her jeans up to her mid-calf. That didn’t take any effort as she wore loose ankle-length jeans, ripped and faded with use. With practiced clinical movements, he palpated around the area, noting the improvements in her injury.

“Your hands are always so warm,” she hummed. Sky wasn’t teasing him now. She was just being…herself. Honest.

He glanced up at her and returned the curious stare she sent his way. Touching was such a private thing to do with someone you barely knew. Touching for the sake of touching, to just feel someone’s skin against his, their warmth and their softness, and to memorise the roadmaps of their veins. Yet, to touch was to know. Skin was just another sense organ meant to take in information. But this was different, and he touched her to know how her injury was doing. He wasn’t touching her to know her.

If he wanted to, he could get to know her better.

But she was untouchable. Even after this injury healed, and it wouldn’t take long now before it did, how could he possibly touch her without driving her away?

“Is being injured really the only way I can get your hands on me?” she asked in a low voice. ”There must be something about me you find interesting.”

In her eyes were many things all at once: uncertainty, resignation, but also…something else. Sadness? His hand on her ankle stilled. His throat worked as he made the words go.

 _You,_ he wanted to say. _Everything_.

But the words did not come and he settled for—

“Your bones.”

“My what?” Her mouth fell open, soft pink lips that teased him endlessly.

He blinked. The words had come out unbidden. A truth, however unconventional. He drew a slow breath, clinging on to discipline to appear calm while his heart raced and his fingers itched to explore her. “Your bones. And your muscles.”

“Okay,” she whispered. “That’s a start. What about them?”

Her eyes followed his movements, the subtle way he turned toward her and the way his chest expanded with every breath, the way his pulse pounded in his throat. “About my hands on them. On you.”

His own words summoned images of her skin open for his curiosity, the stories on her skin, curves and swells and expanses open for him to study and learn. She would be a far better, far more interesting, anatomy lesson and everywhere he touched she would respond to him. If he touched her just right, she would make sounds like a guitar, sweet sighs and sudden gasps as he stroked up one leg and ran the flat of his palm up her stomach. Or if she were like him, he would inevitably find a ticklish spot and make her laugh.

“Where?” Her eyes were still on his hand, innocently cradling her foot. “Show me where.”

He shouldn’t, of course. He should stand up and leave, just as he did earlier today when her lips had hovered too close he could have kissed her.

“Do you know where I want you to touch me?”

Everywhere, he hoped. Instead, Sungjin shook his head.

“I like being touched,” she breathed. “And you have very skilled hands. I want them on my hands, on my face, my neck.”

As she spoke, she ran her fingers across the body parts she named. A part of him knew she was doing it on purpose, but another part of him knew it was because of him that she was doing it. Sky was doing it for him to see. Her fingers trailed down the column of her neck, teasing the v-neck of her shirt, down the stretch of skin it exposed, and stopping at the very end where her fingers dipped into the deep red cotton and into parts of her he couldn’t see.

He wanted to reach out and rend the shirt in half so he could continue watching those fingers unencumbered by her clothes. He wanted to continue watching her touch herself, have her say she thought of his hands on her while she did. That she wanted his hands on her.

Fuck it. He wanted to do the touching.

“They’re in the way, aren’t they? My clothes.”

Even as the invitation thrilled him, it gave him pause. Her face was flushed, and her chest heaved. She wanted this, too. She wanted him? Sky looked so perfect, so beautiful, what could he possibly know about giving her pleasure?

“Do you want me to take my clothes off?”

His eyes flew toward hers.

“Do _you_ want to take my clothes off?”

And there, in the simple, straightforward question, the last fragile thread of his control made itself known. He should move. He should leave. He should say something to create distance between them. Instead he said, “Yes.”


	8. Chapter 8

It was the single most erotic thing in her life, and the man wasn’t even touching her.

Sky enjoyed this, however. It made her feel reckless and deviant, and she’d been anything but a saint. It wasn’t the first time she would touch herself for an audience of one, but this would the first time she was doing it willingly because she _wanted_ to. Not because it was asked of her, but because she was desperate for pleasure, for some release, from this ache that suffocated her.

As though touching herself were enough.

It had to be.

Death from wanting, that was what she deserved.

If Sungjin wasn’t going to touch her, then she would just have to do the job herself. On most occasions, it was the only way she could ever orgasm. Sex, generally, was bad for her. There were good ones, for sure. The rare breed who actually knew what to do with her and her body parts and didn’t just work her like they were striking a flint to by chance light a fire. Even rarer was someone who would actually listen to what she wanted and delivered. But then, she didn’t want to give them that much credit. For all she knew, they just got lucky.

This one, though. This one was pushing her to edge of her senses.

_Why wouldn’t he touch her?_

But the question had to wait when Sungjin’s rough voice spoke the word out loud. “Yes.”

 _Yes._ Yes, he wanted to undress her.

Sky wanted to scream out, _yes_. “Then do it.”

He hesitated, but somehow she’d anticipated that. “It’s okay,” she said as quietly as she could. “You can touch me.”

 _Please, touch me_.

His fingers brushed against the fabric of her jeans, and Sky sucked in a breath as though he were touching her skin. He moved excruciatingly slow, letting the seconds drag they felt like hours. There was a long moment of silence, then he said, “You’re very beautiful.”

Sky had heard the words before, but never like this. From Sungjin, it sounded like he truly meant it. He wasn’t just saying it because he thought she wanted to hear them, or because he liked the way she looked or the way she dressed. There was nothing beautiful about her right now—old clothes, bare face, she was sure her underthings didn’t even match, but Sky _felt_ beautiful. She felt _desired_. For her. Not the magic she brought on stage.

Carefully, he kneeled over her legs and unbuckled her belt and unbuttoned her jeans. His knuckles barely touched her, but she felt his heat ghost across her skin and she thrummed with anticipation. His fingers found the clasp of her zipper, and he undid her like he couldn’t go any slower. She leaned back and forced herself to stare at the ceiling, not trusting herself to be patient with him when he needed her to be. Slowly, he tugged her jeans off her legs, baring her to him.

She heard his sharp exhale and turned to him, instantly meeting his gaze, hot and focused on her. “Do you know why I like wearing your clothes?” she asked.

He shook his head, one subtle tilt of his chin.

“Because I’m jealous of them. They know what it’s like to touch your skin. All that skin I want on mine. Your shirt, it knows the feel of you, the warmth of you. Is that really the closest I can get to you? Is this really the closest you can get to me? I see the way you look at me when I’m in your clothes. It’s for the same reason, isn’t it? Because it’s almost like you’re all over me. You don’t have to wonder anymore.”

She wasn’t wearing his clothes now, but the point was to not be wearing anything at all. Cool air ran through her overheated skin, and want coursed through her and made her brave. Sungjin hadn’t stopped watching her.

Just because she can, she asked, “Are you watching closely?”

He nodded.

She pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her in nothing but her underwear. At least she wore a lacy, peach-coloured bralette though it didn’t match her cotton panties. He closed his eyes then, hands fisting the sheets beneath them, jaw clenching tightly, and his hair falling over his eyes as his chin dropped to his chest. She was pushing him, wanting to see how far he would go. How far she had to go before he took matters into his own hands. Sky was desperate to touch him, desperate to be touched by him, but she knew with a sick sense of clarity that all this had to happen according his pace or not at all.

When he returned his gaze to hers, there was something new in those dark eyes. Something that consumed her in their depths. He breathed out her name.

“Still with me?” she asked.

He released a shaky breath. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing yet,” she answered, watching him through hooded eyes. “What do you want me to do?”

“What?”

“You’re in control.”

“Me?” He leaned forward, bracing himself with his arms on the bed.

“I trust you.” Words she’d never thought she’d utter beneath a man. But she did. Sky trusted Sungjin. Not ever once did she feel unsafe with him.

Now that, _that_ was a thought she’d have to analyse.

But later.

“I’m inclined to think you’re the one in control,” he said, low and dark.

“The one who gets to say stop is in control. And that person is you. Really, it’s me you shouldn’t trust.” The things she could do to him, the ways she could touch him, ways she could ruin him to the point of no return. Ruin him for all others. Sky could lead him right into sin and not once regret it. She could deliver him to temptation and never look back.

He made a sound that rippled through her, a wave of pleasure that stole her breath. “Sky. Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yes.”

“Then show me how I should touch you. How you want me to touch you. I want you to show me.”

Her hand was already moving before he was even done with that sentence, trailing up to press the back of her hand to her too-warm face. Then she let her fingertips dip lower to the hollow between her breasts. “I want you to touch me here like this.”

He didn’t answer, unless a low groan counted as an answer.

She traced the swell of her breasts, circling around the edges of the lace they were encased in, giving him something to look at. And look he did. The surge of power was intoxicating. Most thrilling was the implicit knowledge that he was doing it for her, too. Not just for himself. With his eyes on her like this, she could almost believe he was touching her with his own hands.

She let her fingertip tease one nipple then the other, barely drawing the lace aside and teasing him. “I want your mouth on me like this, too. And your tongue.”

He nodded, eyes heavy with desire.

She drew her fingers down and his eyes followed. Down, and lower still. There, at the heat of her. She moved her legs, opening her to him. He made no other sounds than his laboured breathing. His ears burned, and the color spread down to his neck, disappeared into his shirt. Unfair. She wanted to see him, too.

She drew in a sharp breath as she touched herself. Just the way she knew would make her feel good when she was alone. Better now, that he was with her. Kind of. Almost, but not quite. But the experience was doubled when shared, and she slipped a finger inside her underwear, gasping at how sensitive she’d become. He was destroying her without even touching her. He hadn’t even kissed her yet.

“Here, too,” she whispered. “Like this.”

His eyes went wide at her raw confession. She saw everything, for even though he was above her, he was on his knees watching her with a veneration that equalled her irreverence. There was a danger there between them, the kind that lingered between trust. It was the most frightening sense of safety she’d ever known.

His eyes on her urged her forward, and she rocked against her own hand until she was the edge of something far more beautiful. She gave him everything, whether he knew it or not. In that moment, Sky was his, open and raw, consumed with pleasure yet somehow left aching with a desire far greater than when she’d begun. She whispered his name as her pleasure broke through her, and she threw her head back biting her bottom lip to keep from crying out loud.

When the haze of her climax lifted, she returned to him and the pained expression on his face. She sat up. Inched forward. When he didn’t move away, she braved another inch. And another, stopping just before she could breathe him in. Before he could hear her heart still pounding in her chest. This level of intimacy was new, even for her. Usually men took what they needed from her, it was a one-way transaction with her. This was…not like that.

“Sungjin?”

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asked again.

He met her gaze and understanding stretched between them. He turned to sit, and she twisted over his legs to climb onto his lap. She settled herself into him, feeling something hard prod her thigh. She looked down. “Oh, hello.”

“I—you can ignore that.”

“You’re missing the point,” she said, sinking lower into him until they fit just right. This man, he knew so much about the human body but seemingly no practical knowledge of how it worked for him. And for her. “I’d be totally offended otherwise. This goes both ways, you know. I like the feel of you. You like the feel of me. While I appreciate the parts of you that are stiff, I need the other parts of you to relax.”

She inched forward again, a breath away before their chests could come flush together. “Just tell me if I’m too much.”

His eyes seemed to say he didn’t quite know how to answer that. He looped his arms stiffly around her waist. “It’s okay.”

“Should I leave—“

“No.”

The roughness in his voice gripped her like a vise. “Okay. Okay, then. Would you like to kiss me now?”

His gaze locked on her lips, and her blood raced with anticipation. His breath fanned over cheek, and his lips pressed a soft kiss on her temple. So softly, so gently, it was a caress. The tip of his nose grazed her skin as he moved lower to press a kiss on her cheekbone. Then her cheek. Then the corner of her lips. Sky was falling apart. Her hands gripped his shoulders, while his big hands steadied her waist and her hips.

When he finally pressed his lips against hers, bolts of sensation flooded her senses like she were being kissed for the very first time. His mouth swallowed her gasp, and after her initial surprise she let him take the lead, allowed him to explore and tease as he liked. She followed, like a good girl, drawing the kisses out and showing him how it was done.

She slipped her tongue between his lips and he pulled away, shocked. “Too soon?” she asked.

His brow creased. “Just surprised.”

“Is that a no?”

“Again.”

She bent toward his mouth again, bracing herself against his broad chest. She kissed him unhurriedly, close-mouthed and careful. She felt his stress melt away, and his hands on her felt less hesitant. She sucked on his bottom lip, and he made a sound at the back of his throat. More kisses. More shivering sensations taking over her body. She teased his mouth until his lips were chasing after her, until it was him trying to catch her tongue into going further.

She was ready for more, instinctively, she ground her hips against him.

But like she flipped a switch, Sungjin was tense and stretched tight in all the wrong ways. He jerked from underneath her, and then she was in mid-air, coming to a stop with her back on the floor. She slapped her hand to her mouth to stop herself from laughing. No, laughing was the wrong thing to do here.

“Sky,” he scrambled to his knees next to her, “Are you hurt?”

She raised herself to her elbows. “Are you okay?”

Sungjin wouldn’t meet her eyes. “How’s your ankle?”

She gulped down a ragged breath. “I didn’t land on it, don’t worry. I’m so sorry, what did I do wrong?”

Sungjin shook his head, turned to his side to face away from her. “It’s not you. Let me help you.”

But Sky wouldn’t let it go. She wasn’t going to just sweep this under the rug. It was wrong. Something was wrong. She couldn’t even reach out for him, uncertain if her touch would help or help make it worse. “Sungjin, look at me. Tell me what’s wrong so I can be careful next time.”

He shook his head and lifted her off the floor and placed her back on the bed. Then she noticed it. A tell-tale stain on his jeans. The words escaped her when her eyes traveled back to his face. He looked wounded. Mortified.

“It’s really nothing to be embarrassed about,” she hurried to say. “It’s absolutely normal. That’s what’s supposed to happen. Don’t worry about it.” God, how long has it been for him? He has done this before, hasn’t he? It didn’t even occur to her to _ask_. She must have shocked him right out of his senses and she hasn’t even done anything yet. "Really, this is all okay."

After a beat, he said, “I…should go clean up first.”

“Okay. If that’s what you want. I’ll be here. Come back for me, okay? Promise me you won’t run away from me.”

He didn’t answer.

“Sungjin?”

“I won’t run away from you this time.”

“Okay. Can I kiss you?”

He nodded.

She raised herself up to her knees to leave a lingering kiss on his lips, sucking gently on his bottom lip before letting him go. “Come back here, okay? We don’t have to do anything. Just lie here with me. Your bed misses you.”

Instead of smiling as she hoped he would, he searched her face. She did her best to make sure her face was being kind and understanding and encouraging enough for his needs. Then he padded into the bathroom, came out a couple of minutes later and joined her on the bed. Without a word, he lay next to her like a board, she had half a mind to build a pillow fort between them to allay his tension. His renewed distance shouldn’t bother her, but it did. She rather liked him open to her, welcoming and warm and smelling so good. She very much liked it when he was kissing her.

She turned to her side, a feeling swelling in her chest. What was she supposed to say now?

Nothing, apparently.

No more talking. No more touching. Just laying beside each other. No pillows or tension between them. Only warmth. Only trust.

His breathing calmed and evened out, and so did hers. A languor settled between them, most pleasant and fuzzy in the feels. So they were quiet.

And then they were asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Sungjin was not having a good day at work today.

He was focused when he had to be focused. He was attentive when he had to be attentive. But now that he was standing in a narrow hallway at the hospital, staring at the vending machine, and mulling over his choices, he found that he couldn’t think of anything else but the previous night.

His teeth gnashed together at the memory of Sky beneath him looking like both sin and salvation, bared to him and writhing against her own touch and showing him how to take one’s pleasure without guilt or shame. Showing him how he could—should—take her, inviting him and tempting him with those eyes and those sounds. She had looked at him like she saw no one else and had said his name as she came. It was, indeed, too much.

She was far too much to resist.

And then what did he do? He had embarrassed himself, panicked and threw her off him and onto the floor. Sky, however, had not acted in offense. Unlike so many others that he had inevitably offended, she had held back a laugh and asked _him_ what _she_ did wrong. None of the cruel teasing he’d received.

Although, she did unleash an entirely different sort of cruel teasing upon him.

He’d expected as much from her—constantly reminded himself she was nothing but a trick of the eye, a sleight-of-hand, nothing but an illusion. It was such an anomaly, to have someone like Sky want him like this when every other woman would not even spare him a second glance. A first glance, yes. Sungjin wasn’t naive or oblivious to the first glance sent his way, sometimes he could charm someone enough into taking a chance on him, but ultimately something about him pushed them away. Friends, he had plenty. However, when it came to romantic partners, there just wasn’t enough of him to entice anyone to stay.

Not that he should be wanting to seduce Sky into staying.

The ache was back in his chest, magnified by the woman who had showed him pleasure and frustration all at once in one moment, and without requiring him to give even an inch of himself. He felt both robbed of the experience and cheated that she had finished without him. That it wasn’t him who had driven her to the edge. Not really. Mortified too, that he couldn’t keep himself together long enough to take her.

Sungjin did not like that ache. He did not like what he thought it was coming to mean.

“Well, someone’s not having a good day.” Wonpil appeared from behind him, swiping his card on the slot and punching in his choice of sugar-powered coffee. “What happened to you?”

Sungjin looked at Wonpil but said nothing.

“Is this about her? Is she still staying with you?”

The problem was Sungjin could easily gauge Wonpil’s intent in that one question alone. Though Wonpil had been the harbinger of Blind Dates and Matchmaking Disasters, it was also him who had voiced out concerns regarding Sky. Specifically, that she’d been staying with Sungjin until now. That she was staying with him at all.

“I know you’re trying to be a good citizen and whatever else it is that you think you’re doing, but what do we really know about this girl?” Wonpil had asked him this question before, and just like the first time Sungjin didn’t have an answer.

Except maybe that being a good citizen to Sky was the last thing on Sungjin’s mind.

Giving up on his snack, Sungjin headed back to his station, Wonpil at his heels. As much as he had convinced himself he didn’t have to explain Sky, Wonpil was his friend. A good friend through the years, despite Wonpil being, well, Wonpil. Sungjin didn’t like the lying or the omission of details, but what could he possibly say that wouldn’t sound like madness?

“I mean,” Wonpil continued, hovering by his shoulder. “Doesn’t she have family? Friends? Is she hiding from someone? Do we know her credit score? What comes up when you Google her?”

All these things were relevant, but Sungjin found that he didn’t care. And that was trouble in itself. Hyperfixation could lead to tunnel vision, and tunnel vision could lead to obsession. None of those were good things. How was he supposed to bring up such topics in conversation, anyway? With the trauma Sky had gone through—the nightmares he heard her having, and his inability to do anything else but wait it out until she calmed down from trashing around in her sleep—he didn’t assess it to be wise to force the issue until she was ready. He was trained and equipped to handle this, but at the same time he felt helpless.

“I can’t just leave her out on the curb,” Sungjin said, stepping to the side to create more space between them. Wonpil was a prime example of someone who had no concept of personal space. Sungjin learned to tolerate him in the daily grind of things, as it became clear there was no getting rid of him.

Wonpil shook his head. “And with all the options available to you and her, living together was your best fit? Is there something I should know?”

The thing about keeping secrets, even arguably justifiable ones, was that it left people to draw conclusions on their own. And Wonpil was quickly cannon-balling into one like it was summer and they were at the beach.

Sungjin stopped by the nurse’s station to drop Wonpil off. “Like what?”

The question was meant to be rhetoric, but Wonpil had difficulty grasping that concept as well. “Like I had to put my matchmaking services on hold because how awkward is that, ‘Oh by the way, he lives with this girl but you shouldn’t worry or feel threatened no matter how hot she is, he really is just helping her out very innocently’ or should I close my services once and for all?”

Shaking his head, Sungjin walked away. For that reason alone, Sungjin was willing to let Sky stay indefinitely. He’s had quite enough of this dating thing. Although, shit, what if Wonpil mentioned this to his mother? Would she assume they were in a serious committed relationship? And if she did, would Sungjin prolong the deceit and let them believe as much if it meant leaving him alone?

Too much. It was too much to think about.

“It’s relevant information, you know!” Wonpil yelled after him. “How are you supposed to bring home girls when you already—“

“Yeah, I get it!” Sungjin yelled back, eyes consciously darting around him, at the hospital staff and visitors around them. “You might want to say that louder because I don’t think they heard you in the courtyard.”

“I’m just looking out for you!”

Sungjin didn’t even look back anymore.

“Man, you look like shite,” Jae hollered, skidding to a stop as he rounded the corner and joined him in the stark white hallway. “I have, like, five minutes and thirty seconds so kindly hit me up with the digest. What was that all about? I heard you all the way from 1-East.”

That was an exaggeration because they already were on the first floor east wing of the hospital. “Don’t you have to be somewhere in five minutes?”

Sungjin didn’t even know what rotation Jae was in anymore. He was everywhere all the time, it wasn’t a stretch to say he’d mastered the art of being in two places at one time. But that would be star intern Kang Younghyun, wherever Younghyun was at. Hopefully at the storage room, doing humanity a solid. At least one of them should be having a good time despite all this chaos they lived through everyday.

“Yeah,” Jae answered, adjusting his glasses on his face. “In, like, five more minutes. So you’re still living with Sky?”

Sungjin barely stifled a grimace. “Yeah.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing.”

“I don’t know yet,” he admitted.

“Hey, man.” Jae raised his palms. “That’s your business. And I respect whatever decision you make. I, for one, think this is a good exercise in Peopleing. I think Pil’s just salty you haven’t, like, properly introduced us and things, you know?”

Sungjin glanced behind him even though Wonpil wouldn’t even see them anymore from his vantage point. With Wonpil, it was wrong to assume he wouldn’t just show up where he’s the least expected. “Since when are you concerned with Wonpil’s feelings?”

“I’m not,” Jae pointed out, “Except when he’s badgering me because suddenly we’re not good enough to hang out with as a group?”

Sungjin rolled his eyes. “You lost me there, not gonna lie.”

“My guy, I mean to say if we had days off like before, just Friday nights free, the decent thing to do would be for us to all hang out and do our club gigs, you know what I’m saying?”

“I don’t think so.” He did miss the good old days, back when they were just a bunch of university students who started a band because they thought it would be a good waste of their time. They were lucky to have found their way back to each other like this, though Sungjin would never say it out loud. He would sooner cut off and swallow his own tongue than admit to it.

But, yes. What wouldn’t he give for another night where they weren’t bound by responsibilities and adulting. A simpler time when they had known everything about each other, as much as a bunch of housemates knew one another.

“We’d like to get to know this girl, is what it is,” Jae said, finally. “When you’re ready to throw her into the ring of fire.”

Sky would like that metaphor. Sungjin wouldn’t be surprised if she had literally gone through a ring of fire in the past. Further down that line of thought, she and Jae would most definitely get along. They’d hit it off unnaturally well the first time they met. What was the right thing to do or say in this situation? It wouldn’t do for any of them to be attached to her.They would only grow to be enamoured by her, and Sky didn’t appear to be the type to stay long in one place. There was no foreseeable scenario that didn't end in disappointment and hurt.

There was that ache again.

“I’m really just letting her stay for a few days,” Sungjin said.

“Right.” Jae’s eyes turned assessing. “Injury and all.”

Sungjin didn’t need reminding.

Grinning, Jae clapped the back of Sungjin’s shoulder. “Anyway, good talk, friend. I’m proud of you, stepping out of your comfort zone like this. Catch you later!”

Sungjin watched Jae bust through the swinging doors of the emergency room and disappear into the war zone. After the doors swung back to close, he headed for the ambulance bay were Dowoon was waiting for him.

Dowoon looked up. “You’re back. I thought you were getting coffee?”

“Changed my mind.”

“No, I meant for me. I thought you were getting it for _me_.”

Sungjin muttered a curse beneath his breath, immediately taking it back when they received a call on their radio. His situation, and his personal life, may have been a mess but this part of him was not. “Get in. I’m driving.”

 

***

 

When Sungjin entered the apartment, Sky was sitting on the living room floor, stretched in a split and folding his clothes into three neat piles.

“Oh, welcome home,” she said, looking up at him with bright eyes.

For a full moment, Sungjin was arrested on the spot. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard those words. Coming from Sky, the word _home_ felt surreal. With the gracefulness of a robot, he toed off his shoes, walked inside, and laid their takeaway dinner on the dining table already set for two. “What are you doing?”

She flushed. “I’m sorry. I have fidgety hands. I need to do something with my hands all the time, otherwise I get jittery and restless. And you left your clothes in the dryer this morning, and I wanted to do something for you, and I’m sorry. I should have asked first. I won’t do it again.”

“No, that’s not it,” he stuttered. “It’s…not like that. You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to do anything for me.”

“But I want to. Can’t you just let me do something for you?”

There were a many great deal of things Sungjin wanted her to do for him, and _to_ him,especially with those dextrous hands, but now was not the right time or context to bring that up.

His mind scrambled to change the subject. “I got something for you.”

“What? No. You shouldn’t have.”

He shrugged his backpack off his shoulders and set it on the floor before he dug into his pocket. “You’re going to like this, I’m sure. Hold out your hand.”

She did.

Sungjin dropped down to his haunches in front of her and dropped his present into her waiting palm. The expression on her face, from anticipatory, to surprise, and then delight, was worth far more than the small token. Sungjin felt like he stole from the sun itself.

Sky lifted her set of keys by the ring. “Are these...?”

“Keys to the apartment. I don’t want you to feel trapped here. As soon as your ankle is feeling better, you can walk around and go wherever you like.”

_Just please come back home to me._

He mentally bashed his head in and shook the thought away.

Sky beamed at the keychain he chose for her. “It’s a bear. Are you a bear? Is this your den?”

“That won’t be the first time I’ve been asked that question,” he laughed. But it was definitely the first time he liked hearing the words, though he suspected it had everything to do with who was asking.

Sky clutched the keychain close to her heart. “Thank you.”

It was the strangest thing, the urge to kiss her. His eyes were instantly drawn to her lips, and it didn’t need much imagination from him because Sky was kissing him. Chastely, too.

She drew back, touching her lips as though she was surprised by her own actions.

It was…sweet.

Uncharacteristically sweet, his own body had moved forward onto his knees, capturing her lips in a properly improper kiss. Sky sighed into his mouth, licking and then nipping, being utterly intoxicating.

Kissing her made it hard to think, and it felt like something people did when they were dating. Which they were not. If he wanted to maintain control of his better faculties, he had to stop now. Back away and bring them back to the here and now. But he liked kissing her. He liked it too much.

He liked that she didn’t mind that he was the way he was. Touch averse—he’s heard the terminology before, but had always been wary of acknowledging the taxonomy existed. But last night, Sky had clung to him. And he was not totally against it. Wanting her to stay a little longer was to satisfy a scientific curiosity, he was sure of it. He had to make sense of how easy it was for her to handle him, research a way to standardise a protocol for application with another.

He didn't want another, though.

That was a problem.

“You’re thinking,” she muttered between kisses.

“I can’t help it,” he answered, “It’s just what I do.”

“Then I’m kissing you wrong.”

He laughed, pulling away much to her protests. Just to be clear, he didn’t want to stop either. “I’ll put the clothes away, then we’ll eat?”

She pressed her lips against his one more time. “Fine. It’s a date.”


	10. Chapter 10

 

It wasn’t a date.

But Heavens help her, Sky was grinning like a middle school girl being asked out for the first time. Truth, she’d be skipping if she weren’t encumbered by her crutch; she would have worn something cute too, had she had wardrobe choices. Alas—the word she sighs to the skies above—it wasn’t meant to be. Sky settled for her ragged jeans, hoped for the boyfriend look to translate well, and a cute little shirt. Then she stole one of Sungjin’s plaids. Out loud, she said it was payback because Sungjin wouldn’t let her wear both sneakers as her injury was still vulnerable. So now she was hobbling with one shoe on while her other foot was taped up and dressed in a lovely house slipper.

Sungjin, however, looked perfect as always even in just a simple black shirt and jeans. Summer was looking really good. As did the outside world. They walked down the row of boutiques and cafes, and Sky drank everything in until she was drowning in every possible sensation. From the sounds of vehicles and traffic, to the footfalls and conversation and laughter, and the heat of the sun on her face. It was the smells she couldn’t get enough of. Something smelled _really_ good. Besides Sungjin, that is. Something sweet and tangy and sugary, her mouth watered.

Sungjin tangled his fingers into the soft fabric of his plaid on her and tugged her closer. “Don’t walk too close to the road, what are you doing? You’re not even recovered from this injury, and you’re already looking for another one? Come here.”

“I’m not doing anything!” But she did let him pull her aside and closer to him. What would it take to let her hold his hand, she wondered. If she had free reign, she would wrap herself all over him even as they walked around in public like this. “And be careful, you don’t want to tear your own shirt, do you?”

“Stop stealing my clothes,” he teased, moving around her so she was in the inner lane of the sidewalk.

“It’s not my fault I don’t have any clothes!” she laughed. “Most of them are stage clothes anyway, and I couldn’t bring those with me.” Not that she wanted to. A part of her hoped she could leave that part of her life behind as well. She was through being someone’s assistant. “So impractical,” she added.

Sungjin stilled for a moment, eyes darting around the shopping area. “Do you see anything you like?”

She was looking at something she liked very much right now, but decided to keep her mouth shut. “No, I’m good. I have everything I need in my trunk.”

“Everything,” he muttered good-naturedly. “Stop stealing my clothes. If you see something, just let me know.”

She wouldn’t dare let him buy her anything more than what she was already taking from him. She couldn’t. It would go against everything she had strived for. “What for? It’s not like I’m going out or anything. I’m still under house arrest, aren’t I?”

Sungjin turned somber. “I’m sorry. I should have brought you out more.”

“No. No, I mean…it was like a vacation, these past three weeks with you. I just meant…I haven’t had a vacation in forever and I was always working too, you know? I really didn’t have time to go out and not do anything. And I was cooped up in the workshop in the mornings and I was on stage at nights, and…” she trailed off, unsure how to finish that train of thought. Her entire life had been about coming up with new ways to present the same old tricks, mastering them, then showing off to an audience.

So much for a life.

_Look at your only daughter now, Mom and Dad._

“And you’re really busy, and how can I even go around like this?” She lifted her bad foot as evidence. Can’t even wear both shoes.” Recovery was so close, she could feel it. At first she couldn’t wait for full use of her feet, but now she was getting better she had half a mind to feign some other injury just to stay with Sungjin a little longer. Ridiculous. What was going on with her?

“We have the whole day and the whole night,” Sungjin said, gesturing at the whole street filled with shops and street food. “What do you want to do?”

She wanted to kiss him senseless, for one. “Frozen yoghurt,” she blurted out. “Let’s get frozen yoghurt.”

He blinked. “Okay then.”

They only had to walk another street before they found a shop. Sungjin opened the door for her, and Sky was welcomed with a blast of air-conditioning and pastel walls and pink and purple chandelier lamps over the glass displays for the toppings.

“What flavour do you like?” he asked as they considered the row of dispensers. At least twelve flavours presented themselves as options. His hand absently came to her waist, and her body lit up with awareness. “Green tea?” he suggested. “Blueberry?”

It was Sungjin’s touch that hurt the most. The lack of it. Unguarded moments like this, when he likely had no idea what he was doing, made her insides cave in and collapse upon themselves. Sky wanted _more_.

Sky worried her bottom lip. “I honestly just like it plain. Kinda boring, isn’t it?”

He shook his head, in his eyes were warmth and something else—something that made her feel fuzzy on the inside. “No. Flavour and fanfare are too overrated anyway.”

“I like chocolate-hazelnut syrup with it, though.”

She pulled back her too-long sleeves and reached out for a cup, but Sungjin stopped her. “Wait, come here.” He pulled her arm toward him by the excess fabric and poked at the hem. “Where’s your hand?”

Sky had slipped her arm away, like a turtle hiding in its shell. She knew if she didn’t consciously avoid contact first, she would only end up touching him or holding his hand, and she was afraid he wasn’t going to take to the affection at all. Sky didn’t deal well with rejection. “I made it disappear. Like magic.”

“Let’s see if I can bring them back,” he said as he folded her sleeves. The right first, then the left. He was so close, she was burning up. “I wonder what the magic word might be.”

Sky wasn’t used to this, being fussed over and for the simplest of things. “Abracadabra always works.”

“Abracadabra seems a little basic for you.”

“You can try, Sky you look really pretty today.” Because she couldn’t think of anything smart. Her ears were burning. She was positive she was blushing.

Sungjin made a face and rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t sound magical to me at all.”

“Or you could just blow on it like a candle,” she said, suddenly overly-aware of herself and the gaggle of high school girls watching them. Watching Sungjin. They had given him a double-take, then a triple-take as soon as they walked into the shop. And why wouldn’t they? Sungjin was breathtaking. “Or a lucky kiss?”

She was pushing her luck and she knew it. With her heart pounding in her ears, she was ready to throw in the towel and tap out of this staring match. But then Sungjin leaned in, eyes sparkling with roguishness.

“Sky,” he whispered, “You look really pretty today.” Then he blew her the subtlest of kisses and added a little wink.

She could have ascended to heaven then and there and Sky would have no complaints. Inwardly, she thanked her ancestors, for someone somewhere down the line must have saved the planet from complete and utter destruction. Did she save ten countries in her past life? Or did she unknowingly sell her soul to some malevolent being? On the outside, however, she was cool as a cucumber. She hoped.

“Ta-da.” She poked her hands out, and never had she been more thankful for a crutch, otherwise she would have fallen over. Luxury, she’d been offered before. Jewellery, money, even a penthouse suite somewhere fancy, and Sky turned them all down. This guy called her pretty at her insisting, and she was blushing like a virgin.

He was looking at her intensely, playful but intense, as he adjusted her sleeves and made sure they were straight and balanced. A mischievous grin curved on his lips. She was the one he was looking at, no one else. These looks, they were all for her. “I’ll get a plain one and something else so we can try something new, okay?”

If Sky didn’t know any better, she wouldn’t have pegged him as someone who was bad at dating at all. So far, he was very good at it. She said as much as loud as she followed him around to pay for their yoghurt.

“I didn’t know this was a date,” he answered simply.

“It’s not.” Sky cleared her throat. “I just meant—“ what _did_ she mean? “I thought you’d be bad at people and dating, too.”

They took their seats at a corner booth. “I am.”

She sat with him on the same side, revelling in the curious glare he sent her way. “You’re doing good so far.”

He shrugged. Then hazarded a glance at her. “Because it’s not a date.”

“I just said that,” she snapped, feeling guilty at once. “Sorry, I—“

Sungjin shook his head to cut her off. With a soft smile, he said, “Your yoghurt’s melting.”

Her frozen yoghurt wasn’t melting, but she didn’t want to push the issue and make it an issue. She stabbed her spoon into the white swirl and let the syrup sink to the bottom. When he asked if she wanted to go out today, she didn’t take it as him asking her out on a date either, though she’d teased him about it. She asked if he needed practice with that too. He didn’t answer, which made her think he probably didn’t enjoy his previous dates at all. Practice, it was.

“I’ve never had chocolate-hazelnut syrup on my fro-yo before,” he said.

She scooped a spoonful, intent on feeding him but she caught herself before she even tried. He’d only reject her because that’s just how he was built and she didn’t want to make him feel as if she didn’t understand or respect that. Furthermore, his rejection would only hurt her, no matter how trivial it was. Instead, she put her spoon into her mouth. She trailed her fingers over his jawline as she tipped her head forward and sealed her lips over his.

At first he went rigid. Sky pulled back, but his big hand went around the back of her head and he was kissing her again. Sweet, scandalous kisses, close-mouthed but lingering.Sweet and tangy, cold warming into heat. Though they were partially covered by the booth, anyone who chanced upon them would see them, but Sky didn’t care. The world melted away in that moment his tongue licked at the sticky sauce on her mouth.

Sungjin would care, however. She had to remind herself this was still about him.

“Sky,” he rasped against her lips, his eyes dark and hooded. His other hand cradled her face, and he ran his thumb over her bottom lip. “What are you doing to me?”

Honestly, she’d forgotten all about what she was supposed to be doing. Or why. All she knew was he tasted better than anything she’s ever had before, and she would give anything for more of his hot sighs on her lips. This guy, he probably had no idea he made such delicious sounds when he was kissing her.

Sky was two seconds away from kissing him again.

Screw that. _He_ looked like he was ready to kiss her again.

Unfortunately, any kissing was stalled by his phone buzzing and ringing. Sungjin scowled at his screen and brushed a fleeting kiss to her mouth before answering. “Mom?”

As they talked, Sky kept quiet and contemplated her frozen yoghurt in hopes it could interest her again within this lifetime. Sungjin hummed to whatever his mother was telling him. If he took from her at all, she imagined his mother to be some she-bear who, while very doting to her son, probably went into full on Mama Bear mode when it came to anyone he dated.

The thought didn’t sit well with her, and a bitterness spread down her throat.

“Mom? I have to go, I’m on a date.”

Sky choked on her spoon. He definitely saw that, if the self-satisfied smirk on his face was any indication. He jabbed at the red button to end the call and raised a brow at her.

She pressed the spoon against her lips. “So this is a date now?”

He tightened his lips to suppress a smile. “Is it?”

“How’s your mom doing?” Was she even allowed to ask about his mom like that? Where did they even draw the lines anymore?

Sungjin slipped his phone back into his pocket and pulled his bowl closer to him. “She’s convinced her palpitations are a direct result of my lack of a love match. She says one of my elementary school friends is moving to the city and I should go help with the heavy lifting or whatever.”

“Nice. Very subtle. I can tell you mother is very involved.”

“My mother is very determined, and so is Mr. Competitive Kim Wonpil.”

“What kind of people have they set you up with?”

“Doctors, soon-to-be-doctors, nurses, lab techs. After Wonpil set me up with pretty much the entire first and second floor staff of the hospital, he moved on to the occasional kindergarten or elementary school teacher.”

“Is that your type?”

He shrugged. “My mother’s type, apparently.”

Sky wasn’t a doctor. Or a would-be doctor. Not even remotely adjacent to any of the allied medical professions. She stabbed at her bowl again.

She was more angry at herself. The idea was to seduce him—and all this, the conversation, the flirting, the subtle nuances, was part of the package. The romancing was the foreplay to the foreplay, and somewhere in the back of her mind she meant to teach him that as well. But this was definitely one of those teaching the teacher moments, and damn it. It wasn’t supposed to work on her. She was on a schedule after all. Get a job. Get out. Pay him back. Make another disappearing act. At the rate they were going, she might never leave.

“Do you still talk to your parents?” he asked with a sidelong glance.

“Not recently,” she admitted. “They’ve retired to some vineyard, but I don’t know. After…” she took a breath, “after my mom’s accident, my dad never wanted to be on stage again so they retired and are grape farmers or wine-makers now or something. I didn’t want that, so I, sort of, ran away and joined the circus. Magic show, not circus. But it might as well have been. ”

“Stage?”

“My dad was a magician, and my mom was his assistant. They, uh…” Sky had never said the words out loud before. No one asked, and there was no one she wanted to know.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“My dad could have been the greatest stage magician of his time, but he was too ambitious I think. And then he was too careful he never tried again. My accident.” She sat on her hands to keep herself from fidgeting. “Happened to my mom too, a bunch of years ago. It’s probably cursed in my family.” She forced a laugh. “Anyway, uhm, growing up I didn’t know anything else but magic and I didn’t want to do anything else. I was good at it.”

“You still are.”

“Tell that to every handler who’s rejected me these past three weeks.”

“Sky…”

“It’s fine. I mean after what happened it makes sense they’d be wary of me. They don’t want a liability on their hands.”

“You’re not a liability.”

She turned away from his worried gaze and pushed another spoonful of frozen yoghurt into her mouth. “You know, Ace trained under my dad. There were three of us. He called himself Ace, as in Ace of Spades, but he was also the worst one.”

Three of them, and she thought of those two boys as her brothers. They were her world. Perhaps Ace, for a little while, not quite and a little more than that. But she grew up and outgrew him.

Sungjin wasn’t buying her attempts at levity. “You grew up together and he still threw you out just like that?”

“No,” she reached out to touch his arm but pulled away the last minute. “I wanted out anyway. That was supposed to be my last show, and I had it all planned out. See, on stage I have everything under control. Even the parts that look like accidents? Planned down to the very last contingency. It’s real life that gets in the way of things. I was supposed to magically disappear. That’s the trick. He’ll try to bring me back, but instead of me someone else magically takes my place. And then I’m out.”

Heat prickled her eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat. “Don’t look at me like I’m a broken bird. I’m not.”

“I’m sorry.”

She finished her last scoop and reached out for his. “Yours is melting, are you still gonna eat that?”

He swatted her hand away. “That’s mine.”

If Sungjin knew everything about her, it would probably make it easier for her to walk away and never look back. They were too different, after all. The sooner he realized she was a liability and an accident waiting to happen, the better. There was no fairy tale ending for girls like her. All she had was the unearned privilege of teaching him about his own body so that he could bring someone else pleasure.

She would hate the woman he would choose in the end, but maybe she deserved knowing it would never be her.

At least she would get to give him the most magical night of his life.

After dessert, they continued walking around in comfortable companionship. Sky was having such a good time, she almost forgot she was limping what with the way Sungjin was always there to steady her and steer pedestrian traffic away from her. He didn’t ask any more questions, and Sky didn’t feel like sharing any more. He did have more stories about going to university with Dr. Younghyun and Dr. Jae, and knowing Wonpil for far too long, and driving around with Dowoon in their ambulance. She wanted to meet them, but knew in that instinctive way that Sungjin was keeping her away from his regular life. As he should.

They stumbled into a gathering crowd of tourists and natives, couples and families, and Sky recognized the setup immediately. “It’s a magic show!” she squealed.

Sungjin stood behind her with one hand on her crutch, stabilising her, and it made her think for one moment it was an invitation to use him as a leaning post. But she didn’t do that. She just craned her neck to watch the group of guys take their turns in the middle of their makeshift ring. They called themselves the Legend Crew, and it tickled something in her mind.

She recognised him immediately as soon as he took his turn. Tall, wiry, and a naughty grin seemingly permanent on his face—

Jang Wooyoung.

As if saying the words earlier had conjured him there like a spell.

Wooyoung, like her, was more of an escape artist being lighter and slighter in build and flexible and bendy. Today, however, he pulled out a deck of cards. His showmanship had always been on a level Sky didn’t think she could attain. They separated ways after her father retired, and when Ace asked her to join him she did. She hadn’t heard from Wooyoung since, but he seemed to have found a career as a street magician.

“Are they any good?” Sungjin asked.

Based on this crowd interaction? Every one of them was utterly enthralled. “They’re amazing.”

She couldn’t wait until the audience had fully dispersed. As soon as the show was over, she called out for him, half-hopped and half-limped toward him. Wooyoung took one look at her and his eyed widened as did his arms to envelop her in a hug. Sky wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, and he pulled her up by the waist her feet dangled in mid-air.

“Q?” he whispered into her hair. “I heard about what happened. I was looking for you. You’re alright, aren’t you? You’re okay? I was so worried about you.”

“I’m good. I’m okay,” she answered, squeezing her eyes shut. “Please don’t let me go. I need this hug right now. Please don’t let go.” All she needed right now was the familiarity of Wooyoung’s embrace. When they were kids, he was the one who stayed with her when her father would train them to escape out of locked boxes. He would sit outside with all the keys and a timer, and would knock at three minute intervals just to let her know she wasn’t alone in the dark. That as soon as she knocked their secret code, he would get her out of there in less than a minute.

“I would, but your boyfriend’s looking at me like he wants to kill me.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she said, opening her eyes and letting the world come back to her. Wooyoung’s crew were all looking at her, five sets of kind eyes and unfairly attractive faces and bodies built like sin.

What punishment was this?

Or what reward?

“Are you sure?” he asked, “because I’m pretty sure he just thought of, I don’t know, twelve ways to murder me with that crutch. And now we’re at thirteen. Fourteen. Add maybe about a hundred other ways to kill me using various torture implements, and then his bare hands—“

Sky let go and he carefully set her back on her feet. “Come on. Come meet him.”

Sungjin did not look happy. Confused, maybe. Definitely into the grumpy bear territory. He watched Wooyoung with a calculated hard look. He handed Sky her crutch.

“This is Wooyoung,” she said, leaning into her crutch. “I was just telling you about him. I grew up with him. We trained together under my dad. Wooyoung, this is Sungjin.”

How was she supposed to explain Sungjin anyway? He wasn’t her boyfriend. Saying he was someone who was just helping her out didn’t feel right. And anything else felt…impersonal and weird. Wrong.

“Nice to meet you,” Wooyoung said, still smiling. That was a smile that could creep anyone out with it’s omnipresence. Wooyoung only ever used it when he was putting on a show. Just like her.

“Nice to meet you, too.” Sungjin may have offered a polite smile, but Sky knew him well enough to know he didn’t mean it.

 _Boys_.

“Q,” Wooyoung turned to her, “I’m not going to steal you from your date, so when you need me you can find us at the old ice cream factory near the abandoned church. You know the place? We have to catch up.”

Sky wasn’t sure, but she thought she heard Sungjin mutter under his breath, “ _When she needs you_?”

“I think I do,” she answered. “Or I can look you up.”

“You do that, please,” Wooyoung said. “Sungjin, nice to meet you. I gotta go pack up—we have two more locations—so I’ll leave you guys to it.”

She turned to Sungjin, who was still watching Wooyoung as he made his back to his crew. “Let’s go home.”

Sungjin’s voice came out sure and steady. “You sure? You don’t want to just catch up with your… _friend_ now?”

Mentally, she rolled her eyes. There was one other way she could take his mind off all this. “I’m sure. Take me home.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

Sungjin didn’t know what he was supposed to say so he kept quiet the whole drive back to the apartment. The last thing he wanted was to make Sky feel like she couldn’t even meet people or go out with her friends. Especially _friends_ she has known since childhood. Good friends who had special nicknames for her and whose hugs she apparently _needed_. A part of him was jealous, he wasn’t about to deny that. It was sick feeling that curled its cold fingers around his neck and covered his eyes in a blind rage. This was the part of him that disgusted himself.

The way Sky had jumped into Wooyoung’s arms and the way she’d been so careful not to touch him all day despite the chances he’d given her swirled into a haze in his mind. If only he hadn’t hesitated, or if only he knew the words to communicate that the only reason all of _this_ was okay was because he was with her, then maybe he wouldn’t be in this headspace now.

Why hadn’t he just held her hand like he wanted to? Why did he stop kissing her at the frozen yoghurt place when he didn’t want to? Why didn’t he just put his arms around her waist while they were watching the magic show when it felt right?

Why wouldn’t his body just listen to him?

Being with Sky was easy, especially when he didn’t have to think about it. But as soon as his brain started working? It was over.

Eventually, he broke down.

“I could have just gone ahead, you know,” he said, glancing at her. His grip on the steering wheel turned his knuckles white, and he willed his hands to relax.

He was not _controlling_.

And he was not _possessive_.

“I think I’ve had enough run-ins with the past,” she answered, adjusting her position in the passenger seat. She’d pulled her good foot up and tucked it under her, and how she was fidgeting with the seatbelt.

“Any more people in your past you’re expecting to meet?”

“God, I hope not,” she sighed. “I am so done with that life."

“Dangerous people?” he hazarded. He wanted to ask about previous lovers, but ultimately he did not want to know about those.

“Dangerous is too flattering a word to describe them.”

Sungjin kept his focus mainly on the traffic, but now he was thinking about all the interesting and adventurous people Sky must have met in her life. She was beautiful, and talented, and skilled, and smart, and she could have her pick of anyone on this planet. Sungjin didn’t even have to cast the net that wide, Wooyoung and the whole Legend Crew with their chiselled faces and tight shirts were already right there for her. Any one of them looked like they could give her the best sort of cuddles. And more. Magic. His blood boiled. What could she possibly want with him? Boring, touch averse, emergency medical technician Sungjin.

Even his mother was nagging him about his future plans. Right now, the only future plan Sungjin was capable of thinking of was the future Sky was a part of.

What could he possibly know about seducing Sky into staying with him?

“You were never hurt, though. Were you?” The thought almost urged him to violence, and he shoved the feelings aside.

She shook her head. “No. I mean, it wasn’t always pleasant because sometimes, ugh, it was so bad I had to lie back and think about the economy. But I wasn’t hurt. And I could choose not to go through a thing if I didn’t feel safe. And…”

He snuck another glance at her when she stopped talking. A part of him had suspected the extent of her situation, but he found that he was more concerned over her safety than anything else. In the end, it didn’t matter to him what her past was like. What mattered was that he could protect her present and her future. If he still couldn’t work his way out of his vicious jealousy, the least he could do was save it for a salient threat. Sky would hate him for it, as he did as well, but at least it was marginally justifiable.

"Hey, Sungjin.”

That was never a good sign. “Yes?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Well, this was definitely going to be interesting. “Go ahead.”

“I never asked before because I guess we just kind of went straight to the you hate the dating part so I guess a part of me was, like, here we have a blushing virgin. Actually, I was thinking more like, what kind of sad backstory were you going for to get me to sleep with you because you didn’t need one, you just had to say so. But anyway, now that we’re talking about blasts from the past, have you been in a relationship before?”

Sungjin counted down from three before even processing what she had just said. As they idled at a red light, he compartmentalised his thoughts: answer now, think about later, and don’t even process at all.

“Once,” he said slowly. “Long ago.”

“Did you have sex?”

He inhaled a big breath and slowly let it out. “Yes.”

_Green light. Go._

“So you’re not a virgin.”

“No.” Not technically. Though he had been living like a monk these past too many years, he might as well be.

“It was bad, wasn’t it?”

“What gave you that idea?”

“Your face just now.”

He schooled his features back to calm and composed. It was easier when he was dealing with blood and guts, macabre as it were. If he could focus on a task, he could get lost in the rhythm of the process. When he knew his capacity to keep calm was all the difference between his patients freaking out and cooperating, nothing could faze him. With Sky, he was not as good.

“Also, come on. You flinch at the thought of physical contact. Something that intimate? I don’t blame you for freaking out. But yeah, the bad? That’s normal. Especially when it’s both your first times.”

He wasn’t going to ask. He would not ask. He was definitely going to ask, “Was it bad for you?”

“Oh, yeah. It was…underwhelming and uncomfortable.”

Somehow, he couldn’t decide if he was more offended for her or at peace with this knowledge. It didn’t change the past, however. He didn’t think it would change anything about him, either. Good or bad, his relationship with touch had already been complicated even before his first time.

“And before you ask,” she continued, shifting again in her seat so she was facing him as she sank into the backrest. “It wasn’t Wooyoung. Ugh, no. That’s gross. He’s like a brother to me.”

That was a relief, he wasn’t going to lie.

And now he couldn’t be annoyed or frustrated with her when she was just trying to ease his mind.

“It was Ace.”

The truck jerked and stuttered when his foot hit the breaks. He could blame the minivan in front of them, but Sky’s laughter made that excuse useless. It also made him think there was no point in dwelling on that piece of information. She’d discarded it so easily, it must not have meant much to her at all. So much for not thinking about her past. He checked behind them and, though nothing was amiss, muttered an apology to the traffic deities and continued driving.

And there it was again, that knot of irritation in his chest.

“One more thing,” she said, as he pulled into their neighbourhood. “You know I’m going to fuck you senseless tonight, right?”

Sungjin switched lanes and accelerated past the too slow minivan.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the drive. Not when they turned off the car, or when they walked to the elevators, and not even when Sungjin unlocked the front door. Once the door shut behind them, Sungjin toed off his shoes and helped Sky with hers. Though he couldn’t get them home any faster, the moment they were riding up the elevator to their floor anxiety flooded him.

It was Sky who broke the silence first. “Relax, will you. I won’t bite. Unless you ask.”

He followed her into his bedroom, always half a step behind in case she missed her footing. Sky sat at the foot of his bed and tapped the space next to her. Slowly, he did as she asked.

 

***

 

He wasn’t even doing anything yet and Sky already felt as if she were burning under the midday sun. All day long she’d had to keep her hands to herself, but she could only behave for so long before she snapped. And now that Sungjin was looking down into her eyes with intent and delicious curiosity, her resolve was about as solid as silky tofu.

But she couldn’t just jump his bones no matter how tempting it might have been. Seconds stretched to minutes, and she allowed them to savour the moment of not speaking, not doing anything. Silences with Sungjin were never awkward or uncomfortable. She never found herself desperately filling the empty spaces with small talk or hurrying to get the task done. Just being with him felt far more intimate than anything she has ever done.

“We can just go to sleep if you want to,” she said, “But here. Together on the same bed.”

“Are you sleepy?” He inched a heartbeat closer.

“No. You?”

He shook his head.

“Good.” She ran her fingers up the length of his forearm, up his bicep and his neck, and finally anchoring themselves into his hair. She smiled when he released a sigh. Moving up to her knees, she nuzzled his neck, breathed in his scent and pressed her lips on the underside of his jaw.

“I agree.” The breathiness of his voice curled around her and sent goosebumps up her skin.

“Just tell me what you want. If you want to stop or if you want me to do something for you, just say the words. Please just say the words, and I’ll do them for you.” As she spoke, she left kisses all over his jawline, under his ear, nipped at his earlobes, and kissed the corner of his mouth. There were so many things she might explore with him, but until he opened up to her there was only so much she could do.

Sungjin was locked so tight, and Sky was nothing but patient with a lockpick.

“Kiss me.”

She was already moving, her lips capturing the words as he spoke them. And there in that moment, she knew she would not stop until she’d had all of him. Until she could hear all the little noises he made, all the hot sighs and throaty moans, until he’d allow her to taste his skin, and until she’d learned everything about there is about his body and his mind. She’d spend a lifetime if that’s how long it would take.

Despite her instinct to control the moment, Sky resisted the urge to kiss him harder and press her body against his. Instead, she played with his hair and let him kiss her back. And then he was _kissing_ her full on, repeating her movements and mastering them until the student was showing the teacher how it was done. He kissed her with a deliberateness, _she_ was was moaning into his mouth not just because of his tongue but also because of all the other things he could do with that tongue. He was tortuously effective. Just _so good_.

And also the _fucking worst_.

His hand slowly slid up her calf, fingers curving around the exposed skin of her ankle and over the soft denim of her jeans. When his palm reached her knees, he tugged her legs over his thighs one at a time. His other hand slid behind her back, cradling her. Sky boldly pressed her body against him, revelling in the solid feel of him. Inside, she was screaming in victory when he did not turn away.

“Talk to me,” she breathed.

“I want to touch you.”

“I want that, too.” Sky brought his hand on her knee to her chest. Over her heart. The heat of his palm over her shirt was doing wicked things to her, making her feel like the first time all over again. No, better than that. “I’ve wanted you touch me since the night I met you.”

“That would have been inappropriate,” he murmured into the kiss. “And unprofessional.”

She smiled. “I know. You were frustratingly upright.”

He scraped his palm over her, erasing the memory of every other man who had laid their hands on her. “I like my job.”

She liked to think he came to her even after all that because no one else was worth the fuss. That he wanted what she could teach him. Her kisses. Her touch. He wanted _her_. “I like your hands on me.”

“I like it, too.”

She gestured at her breasts. “Small-ish.”

“They’re perfect.”

“You’re sweet. But I’m still overdressed.”

He laughed into the kiss as his hand found a way to the hem of her shirt, peeling off the plaid first, then lifting her tee over her head. His callused fingertips trailed over her skin and cupped his hand over her bralette. As if fascinated by the texture of the lace, he rubbed his thumbs at the sides and on the hardening tips. Sky shuddered with anticipation, and a sharp, delicious ache thrummed between her legs. Hesitantly, he pulled the straps down her shoulders, baring her to him. With a sigh, she arched into his touch, greedy for the sparks of sensation in his fingertips.

“Like that is good?”

Sky bit her lip and looked at him. He wasn’t asking because he wanted her to say he was the best fuck ever, and he was definitely not filling up the silence with dirty talk. He was asking because he genuinely wanted to know. She took his mouth in one long kiss. “Yes. You know what’s better?”

His dark eyes on her was enough.

“It’s better if I can touch you too.”

A wicked smile crossed his features. “But I like it better when I’m touching you.”

That’s it. Sky was officially in over her head, and she was supposed to be the one with full access to her faculties here. A shocking sense of being treasured spread through her, mixing with the heat that claimed her entirely. Like this meant something. Like he could come to care for her. But Sky shook the thought away. It should be her making him feel good. She had a plan. She’d gone in, fully intent to have her hands and her mouth on him, but instead here she was _in his arms_.

Sungjin moved so slowly, pressing kisses on her temple, her cheeks, down her neck and beneath her ear as his fingers worked her skin, brushing, squeezing, and teasing. She squirmed in his lap, feeling him hard underneath her, pressing through the layers of fabric between them, responding to her soft cries. He was pushing her to the edge, and he hadn’t even done anything yet.

“So beautiful,” he said, bending down and pressing his lips on her collar bone, nipping at her skin as he traced a loving path down until he tasted her.

Hands in his hair, she pressed herself into his mouth, unable to keep herself still. He licked and sucked until she writhed and gasped. The sensations threatened to overwhelm her, and Sky grasped at the fringes of her sanity for any semblance of understanding. She was trembling under his touch, waves of pleasure crashing into her one after the other. She wanted to touch him, but he wouldn’t let her. He had caught her in a web of desire, and she had no choice but to relinquish control.

His hand moved lower to unfasten her belt and unbuckle her jeans, to slide all that unnecessary clothing out of the way. His hand traced a path up her legs, gently caressing her injury as he passed by her ankle, as if he were saying, _it’s okay I’ll be gentle with you._ His hand moved higher and higher until his rough fingers skated across her inner thigh, and she gasped his name.

He stroked the seam of her through her underwear. “Like this?”

Sky’s whole body tensed. “Like that, yes.”

His other arm around her flexed as he supported her weight arching wildly into him. She splayed her other hand over his chest and clutched at his shirt, while the other stayed tangled in his hair. Sky felt poised at the edge of a grand reveal, that moment when she was just about to draw the curtains for a grand epiphany. But there was no smoke and mirrors. Only Sky, as she was.

She’d never wanted him more than she wanted anything in her life.

His hand slipped beneath the waistband of her underwear and traced her softness, and they both moaned at the pleasure of it. She was wet and wanting, and if he so much as asked or even hinted at it, she would give him her everything. He stroked, long and lush, teased her like that for too long. Just like the way she would—her breath caught and she pulled him in for a kiss. This man, he was doing exactly as she showed him, her heart was shattering.

Finally, _finally_ , he slipped a thick finger inside of her, slowly and then quickly. He worked some kind of magic on her, caressing her through the roughness and inexperience of his actions. At the rate he was going, he was going to completely undo her. A part of her wanted to beg for release, but all she could manage were high-pitched mewls and stuttered breaths. Another part of her wanted to claim back her authority. She didn't want to lose herself to him like this.

Sky hung her head back and thought about the economy.

It was just too much.

Then he slipped a second finger with the first, his thumb circling her. That, in itself, was wonderful. Perfect. Outstanding. And she pulsed around him, closing in on her climax. But of course, he just had to kiss her too. Softly. Gently. Then roughly. Her sobs of pleasure heralded his success. A rush of heat shot up her spine and the tremors of her orgasm came in wave after wave of goodness. That never happened before. And then he was holding her against him, crushing his lips against her temple. This has never happened before, either.

Too much, and panic seized her chest. It wasn’t just the way he touched her. It was also the way he gazed at her like she was something precious. Someone he wanted. Someone he wanted to want him back. Sky had never been more certain that she’d never been this exposed before, and she cursed the fragile parts of her that held on to hope.

Curled into him, she settled her heartbeat and listened to his until time faded and his ragged breaths wrapped around her like a lullaby.

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Clink, clink, tick. Tick, tick, clink. _Ah,_ perfect.

The lock came loose under Sky’s delicate touch and she released herself from the manacles on her wrists. She let the metal drop to the floor with a heavy thud and she slinked out of the straitjacket, relying only on muscle memory and without really thinking about it.

“Ta-da,” she ironically said, kicking the heavy canvas away. Her injury hadn’t completely healed yet, but she no longer needed the crutches. “How’d I do?”

“Impressive,” Nichkhun said, eyes going wide as he read the record on the digital timer in his hand. He grinned. “Very impressive.”

Nichkhun’s face was impressive too, all princely and beautiful. It was the worst possible combination of traits for a trained mentalist. One look at him, and you would be doing everything he asked even before he worked the mind games on you. Sky, though, was immune to his charms. She wasn’t much for mind tricks; she preferred straightforward men who had no control over their eyebrows and facial expressions.

“Told you, she’s good,” Wooyoung said about two meters above, sitting on a plank hanging down by pulley attached to a ceiling beam. He glowed with pride, and Sky felt soft on the inside.

Nichkhun looked up at Wooyoung with a fond smile. “I believed you the first time. Are you sure you want to do this?” Nichkhun asked her. “There’s no turning back from here.”

Sky answered with a smirk. “Oh, I think it’s you who’s not ready for me.”

The Legend headquarters was a warehouse, all open spaces—and secret rooms—decked in all the equipment, toys, props, and artifacts collected and hoarded through the years. Coming in, Sky felt like she had walked into a time vault, except it wasn’t just a specific time period. It was past, present, and future all mashed into one space. It was dream, and Sky could barely believe she’d been invited in. The team was composed of street magicians and a special effects crew, each of them the best kept secrets in their field. Wooyoung had introduced her to them this morning, and they’d been mucking around the office all day.

It was an audition, Sky recognized. They were all testing her, not because she had something to prove but because they had nothing to lose.

They hadn’t put her inside any boxes yet, neither did they seem to intend to, much to her relief. But locks Sky knew well, and she’d been picking lock after lock, all sorts and sizes, and making her way through the history of locksmiths while she was at it. Knots, too. She loved the moment when the rough hewn rope fibres would loosen and come undone in her hands.

Just like how she had come undone with Sungjin.

He had come with her, belatedly she realized this as he laid her on the bed and rode out the receding tide of their climax. Alongside her, hot and unavoidable, but not _with_ her. Not where she needed him. There had been no embarrassment then, no shame or anything so base. Sky felt as if though they both had been waiting for that moment. What felt more right, was after they had cleaned up, Sungjin didn’t turn away from her. He slipped under the covers with her, still a heartbeat away but closer than before. Sky meant to corrupt him, tempt him to ruin, but now she had to consider the possibility that Park Sungjin was her saviour.

Sungjin had wrecked her thoroughly, and she was wasn’t prepared for it. For him.

For the way he made her _feel_.

Sky needed time to think.

She needed time to understand what had just happened.

How everything had changed.

Thus, the new set of locks and the sheets of blueprints she pored over until late afternoon. Taecyeon was their lead engineer, and for once in her life Sky found an intellectual equal who challenged her to think outside the box as well as inside it. Perhaps most unreal was that none of them treated her any differently or looked at her any differently. She wasn’t an _assistant_. She wasn’t a delicate thing made to look pretty. She wasn’t there for them to look at. Instead, they sat her atop a pile of sketches and Physics references and made her _think_ until her brain turned to mush.

At her behest, she and Wooyoung had been attempting to recreate her father’s journal, but even with their memories combined, fleeting images and impressions alone weren’t enough. They needed a way to retrieve her father’s work from Ace, one way or another.

“I hate math,” she grumbled, kicking a scientific calculator away and sending it skittering across the soft rubber mats.

Taec swivelled his computer monitors toward her to show her the simulation of the laser and mirror set up they were working on. “Hence, technology. Get it? _Taecnology_.”

“That’s it. I’m going home,” she laughed.

“Before you go.” Wooyoung handed her an envelope. “For your consultation services.”

Sky received the envelope with trembling hands. “Are you serious? I just started, like, a couple of hours ago.”

Wooyoung shrugged. “Friends pay friends fairly for their services, and your brain is a work of art. Also, it’s a real job now. If you want it.”

Because that’s what the Legend Crew was about. They picked up strays and honed them into veritable threats to the rigid system that forced them to bend and break to conform. Sky wasn’t the only one who lost a father at an untimely depression and subsequent retirement. Wooyoung lost a mentor and a father-figure, too. But instead of doing what Ace did, grabbing the spotlight and fanfare, Wooyoung worked from the ground up.

“Thank you,” Sky said. “Really, thank you for this.”

“No, Q,” he said, tilting his head and dropping the mask. Without his outside face on, Wooyoung was just like her, tired but naively hopeful at the same time hateful that they clung to silly dreams. All this time apart didn’t change anything between them. In her heart she knew the truth.

The smile was gone from Wooyoung’s face, and in its place was a heaviness not meant for her to reach. “Thank me after all this is over.”

 

 

Sky noticed something was amiss as soon as she opened the door to their apartment. Sungjin’s shoes were kicked to the side instead of neatly placed in their slot on the shoe rack, and his jacket had been discarded on the floor instead of the laundry basket where it should be because it was laundry night tonight. Warily, she stepped further into the living room.

She found him crumpled on the couch, elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands. He had blood on his shirt. Her heart leapt from her chest and she stood there, reminded herself to breathe before doing anything. Once she had some hold on herself, she quietly put her drawstring bag on the floor and padded across the room to him.

“Sungjin?” She was afraid to touch him, afraid to alarm him. What did she say to him? What was she supposed to do? With her most calming voice, she asked, “It’s me, Sky. Please tell me this isn’t your blood.”

“It’s not,” he answered. He inhaled sharply. “It’s not my blood.”

Sky lowered herself down to sit on the floor next to his feet. “I’m here for you. What do you need?”

Sungjin scrubbed his hands over his face, pushing his hair back, keeping his hands there. His eyes were bloodshot. After another two ragged breaths, he spoke, “I almost lost someone today.”

Pain shot through her, sharp and almost unbearable, her chest tightening and making it hard to breathe. Sungjin was in pain, and _it hurt_. It hurt her heart, more so that there was nothing she could do for him but be there.

“But you didn’t,” she said, wanting nothing more but to hold him and comfort him, but doing so might make it worse for him. If only she had all the answers, if only she could take away all the suffering and fatigue, and ease his pain. She would gladly trade her remaining days for Sungjin’s smile. Whatever burdens he carried, Sky would take it upon herself to carry all of it for him. She’d give him the world if only it were possible.

“Because Jae was there,” he spoke as if it hurt to say the words. “He made it in time, and he saved her. I couldn’t save her.”

“But you did,” she soothed. “You got her to Jae just in time.”

“I could have done more,” he sobbed, angrily wiping away at the tears spilling from his eyes. “I could have done more if only I—“ He leaned back, hitting his head on the backrest and mashing the heel of his palms against his eyes. “It’s because I’m not—“

“Sungjin, you _did_ save her. You saved her, and you’ve saved so many people.” _You saved me._ But the words fell flat even to her ears. “You are enough. You did enough. You did so well today.”

Sungjin’s silent sobs broke her heart. She bowed her head, her forehead coming to rest on the edge of the seat, every inch of space between them increasing her sense of helplessness. But she shook it all away. This wasn’t about her. It was about Sungjin and his needs. It had always been about him. She had to do something.

“I’ll go make some tea.”

Sky stood to her feet to leave, but the breath was knocked out of her when Sungjin grabbed her by the waist and she tumbled ungracefully into his lap. She wrapped herself around him, holding him tighter as his cries became louder. Sungjin collapsed into her, hands clawing at her arms and around her waist as though she’d vanish if he didn’t hold on to her.

“If only I was more,” he cried, shaking violently in her arms. “It’s because this is all I am.”

The words were small and sad, and she hated hearing them.

“Sungjin, look at me.” With her hands, she wiped away his tears and pushed his hair away from his face. Another tear fell, expelled by frustration, and Sky wiped that away with her thumb. “Look at me, please,” she pleaded softly.

Her heart in her throat, she met his gaze, and she knew that he understood what she was about to tell him. “You are enough. More than enough.”

He laid his head on her chest.

“Breathe for me,” she soothed. “You’re forgetting to breathe.”

He did. One breath after another. “Someone hurt her,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “There’s so much violence in this world, I see it everyday. Everyday it’s as if people find new ways to hurt each other and there’s only so much I can do to make it stop.”

Sky remained quiet, nodding instead and rubbing slow circles on his arm to let him know she was paying attention. These were not words he spoke out loud, stories not routinely told.

“I want to save people, but I can only do so much as I am. It’s so stupid, thinking I can save them all. That I can do some good in this world.”

Sky would never know the pain and the suffering Sungjin dealt with everyday, or how he ever managed to stay strong despite all the ugliness he saw in the world. All she could do now was hold him like this, hope that magic would be enough to remind him that there was good in the world no matter how easy it was to be blind to it.

She pressed a kiss between his brows and wiped away the fresh tears. “You do what you can. One day at a time, one person at a time. Little by little, you do your part and you do more than you think. Sungjin, the good that you want to see in this world is _you_.”

A long moment passed, and then, “I'm not good. I try, but I'm not."

"Of course, you are. You’re plenty good."

"I almost hurt her. Uncomfortable and underwhelming. And then she said it hurt.”

The words confused her, then made sense to her. Someone from his past. Misplaced guilt he carried with him to this day. “Did she not want you there with her?”

After a moment, he answered, “She did. She said she did. She never said she didn’t.”

“Did you?”

“I did. I wanted to be there, too. I just…I didn’t know what I was doing, and I suppose she didn’t either.”

“You didn’t mean it,” she said. “You must have been so worried. She must have been so worried too. You never liked being touched. You weren’t ready.”

Everything came together without needing the words—the way Sungjin had been afraid to lose control, the way he’d panicked when touch was uninvited, and how he’d opened up only after her patient tinkering.

He laughed bitterly into her shoulder. “I should have been better. Had more control. Known better.”

“You couldn’t have controlled the way your body acted defensively. You pushed me off the bed because you were so anxious, and that’s okay. Whether she meant to or not, and I don’t believe that you’re capable of knowingly hurting anyone, what happened after was not your fault.”

“She was so angry. Then she said things. After that, I never heard from her again.”

And with all the violence he’d had to deal with, all that hurt and confusion, and the constant misunderstandings of his character, this was what he had become. He made himself believe that he had to lock himself up to keep everyone around him safe. All because no one ever explained to him the difference or told him that he was good enough. He didn’t have to change or be more like everyone else.

Sungjin was perfect as he was.

“She broke up with you. All of it seems copacetic.”

“Did you just use the word copacetic.”

“I did.”

He laughed into the hollow of her throat. She rather liked the sound of his laughter.

“You’re not like those monsters,” she said, carefully lifting his face with her fingers. “Not at all. Not even remotely close, don’t you even dare think that this and that are the same thing because _it’s not_. You’re not like that. You're wonderful.”

“Still not a doctor.”

The words hurt her, too.

“Doesn’t make you any less.”

“Wanted to be one. Couldn’t afford it.”

Sky cradled him against her and stroked his hair, dropped a kiss on his temple. “I got my first pay check today. You want to put that into your med school fund?”

He laughed and tilted his head to catch her lips in a kiss.

 

***

 

Anyone else, and everything he had said would unleash a slew of questions he had no answers to, but Sky had only looked at him with her lovely eyes and without any of the judgment or pity he feared. And it was her openness that spurred him on, made the words easy to say though he’d never said them out loud before.

Sky had unlocked him.

She unlocked him, looked inside, and didn’t turn away from the darkness he saw in himself. The darkness he saw around him and feared becoming. When she said his name, when she assured him it wasn’t his fault he was like this, it broke him even more.

For the first time, Sungjin didn’t want to be someone else. He didn’t want to be anything else but Sungjin. He was enough. He could be enough to make her stay.

She gazed lovingly back at him, and he knew for sure he’d never felt like this before, like he’d never seen the sky outside this house that was now starting to feel like a home.

Suddenly, there was good in the world again.

And she was conjuring a little paper snowdrop from behind his ear.

 


	13. Chapter 13

“I hate your job.”

Sungjin expected this reaction from Sky the moment he had realized what had happened, so he wasn’t surprised at all at her outburst as soon as he stepped into the kitchen. He was, however, taken aback by the mess on the floor—hemp rope in various knots, a length of metal chains held together by a rather intimidating looking padlock, and Sky’s diagrams and storyboards scattered across the carpet.

He shrugged off his back pack and his jacket and placed them neatly on the chair. Any other day, he would be sending her his best glower, but not today when he knew he was making her worry. “What did I tell you about making a mess in the living room?”

Sky hopped off the dining table where she had been sitting and set aside the deck of cards she had been fidgeting with. She was still favouring one foot over the other, but she was much more mobile now. “You said to make sure to clean up before you get home. You’re not supposed to be home yet, but—“ she gestured at him “—this explains everything. What happened to you?”

He self-consciously ran his fingers over the singed edges of his hair. It was bad in the sense that Jae was taking several pictures of him when they ran into each other in the emergency room. Even worse, Dowoon had tutted at him and reminded Sungjin he had someone waiting at home for him and that he was going to be in so much trouble.His jacket was covered in soot too. He had already showered and changed at the hospital, but there was no hiding what happened. “Responded to a fire.”

“Did you run into a burning building? That is not your job.”

He didn’t run into a burning building exactly, but he did get caught near the edges when he ran in to evacuate some of the staff inside the kitchen. It wasn’t even a large fire, it was mostly contained and easily extinguished. “I had to help!” he laughed. “Are you seriously telling me off right now?”

Sky planted her fists on her hips. She looked so small wearing his shirt. “Yes, I am. What if something happened to you?”

“I’m trained for these kinds of situations,” he said, closing in on her and planting a soft, lingering kiss on her cheek, inwardly rejoicing when her eyes fluttered closed. “You don’thave to worry about me.”

When she opened her eyes and parted her lips to speak, he could tell she was at the verge of something, words that felt heavy with meaning and made the air thick with significance. Slipping his arms around her waist, he drew her near until she was flush against his chest. With Sky, it was easy. She made him feel safe. As long as he was with her, he didn’t have to be scared or anxious. He even enjoyed these little casual touches. He enjoyed _the more_ that came after, and it wasn’t just the years of celibacy that had something to do with it. It was Sky.It was because it would always be her. Because he was sharing the experience with her.

Something had changed between them. Something Sungjin wasn’t quite sure how to address. He didn’t like occupying this unknown space, but at the same time he didn’t want to scare Sky away with words and labels that might mean more boxes and straitjackets for her. Were they still bound by this practice relationship? Was she his teacher only until the moment she assessed he was ready for the real world?

Her hands clutched at the front of his shirt. Then she looked up at him, her brown eyeswarm with an earthy sensuality, but also a surprisingly natural instinct for caring. Her breath caught, and she said, “Your hair looks terrible.”

_What is it you want to say? Tell me._

“It’s really not that bad. I don’t have any bald spots. I checked.” He made Dowoon check. And Dowoon had been brutally honest, _You look like you had a fight with a cat, and the cat is made of fire._

Gingerly, her fingers curled into his hair and tickled his scalp. “I could trim your hair for you?”

“You can do that?”

“I cut my own hair. I’m also good with clippers and a razor. I have a wide skill set, in case that wasn’t obvious yet.”

He laughed, pressing his nose into her cheek and breathing her in. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to lie down with her and hold her just like this—let her hold him just like this—or pin her down the bed—or have her pin him down the bed—the wall, floor, it didn’t matter where. “Are you suggesting you shave my head?”

“I’m just saying you’d look good with an undercut, or we could just trim the burnt edges off, or just trim it down so it’s not all over your face. Don’t get me wrong, I like your hair like this, it’s just that—“

“Let’s do it,” he said. He didn’t have to think twice. “Shave my head.”

She laughed a pretty little trill, he wanted to bottle up the sound to keep forever. “Are you sure?”

“It’s just hair. If it looks bad, we can just wait for it to grow out again.”

She scrunched her nose as she regarded him. “I doubt it will look bad. You’re very handsome.”

“I acknowledge that.”

“Alright, rockstar,” she said, her bright laughter filling him to the brim. “Let’s get to it.”

 

An hour later, Sungjin sat on a stool with a towel draped over his shoulders, drumming his fingers on his knees, as Sky set up around him. His bathroom had never felt smaller than it did today, every breath he took seemed to fill up the space and suck the air out of the room. From his vantage point, he got his confirmation that she was only wearing her underthings beneath his shirt. Information he wasn’t certain what to do with just yet.

“Ready?” she asked, clippers poised in her hand. A pair of scissors and a fine-tooth comb lay innocently on the counter behind her. There were too many signals, Sky with a potentially lethal weapon in her hand closing in on him with an alluring smile, looking at him with a quiet confidence.

He met her gaze. “I’m ready. Let’s go for it.”

Oddly enough a sense of calm washed over him, if short-lived as it was immediately followed by a tightening against his boxers when she stepped between his knees. Sky’s fingers combing his hair and massaging his scalp eased a sigh from his lips. Her warm scent washed over him, his body wash combined with her sweet smell concentrated around him. He felt heady and out of breath. Sky was so close. So, so, close, his eyes traced the curve of her collar bones, made him want to kiss his way down to the dip between her clavicles and taste her.

The clippers hummed to life, and she methodically worked her way through his hair, establishing an unhurried steady rhythm. The rest of the world seemed to fall away then. There was only his heart beating in his ears and the aching hyperawareness of her softness and curves.

“We’re doing this show,” she said, “flashmob style. Several teams in different locations, it’s a big surprise production.”

He wanted to slide his hands up her bare thighs and slip them beneath the hem of her shirt, but he didn’t want to distract her while she had clippers running over his head. “With Wooyoung?”

She nodded; bit her lip. “It’s my first show since the accident.”

“Nervous?”

She stepped over his knee to continue working around his head. “I’m excited. Excited, but also really nervous. No one’s putting me inside a box or sawing me in half, or poking, or prodding, or penetrating me in any way at all and it’s a new experience.”

“Is that what you want?”

Sky moved behind him so he couldn’t see her, but he felt her all the same. Not just her hands, but her breaths as though she stirred the air around him. Her gentle strokes against his scalp were hypnotising in their regularity. “When I left Ace, it was because I wanted to leave him. I didn’t like the kind of person I had become or the person I knew I inevitably would be. But I loved magic and the stage too much, I couldn’t just leave. I realized then, it’s possible to love something and still feel trapped by it.

“And maybe you stay too long. Maybe someone important just loves it too much you don’t want to disappoint this person. Or maybe you were angry at how this important person just left this life and you wanted to prove them wrong. At some point you realize it’s a safe job. Stable. You can’t imagine losing it. By the time you try to get away, it’s too late.” Sky circled back around him, and back between his knees. The clippers were replaced with the comb and she cleaned up the stray hairs.

“But you got away,” he said.

“Barely,” she answered softly. “You were there, remember?”

They hadn’t talked about it yet, the night of her accident. Sungjin didn’t want to push,and he wanted her to open up to him at her own pace. When she took the job with the Legend Crew, he hadn’t even thought about how she must have felt coming back to the same place that broke her before she was fully healed. It might not have been exactly the same, but there were enough similarities. “You can trust these guys, right? They’re good people?”

“That’s fair. I don’t blame you if you don’t trust them. But I do. I trust Wooyoung.”

He wished she didn’t sound so sure about this guy. “I wish I can make you promise that you won’t get hurt. But I can’t do that, can I? That won’t be fair.”

She put the comb down and smoothed her hands over his head and behind his ears in languid strokes. “I can handle myself.”

And that was his main concern. That Sky was so good at taking care of herself, she wouldn’t need him. That once her wings were fully healed, she would fly away like a dove rising out of a top hat. She was too much magic to be kept.

Sungjin closed his eyes and tilted his face toward her wrist, boldly pressing his lips against her pulse. He ran his palm over the back of her hand, interlaced their fingers, and kissed her palm and kissed her fingertips.

“Besides,” she sighed, “I have nothing to lose.”

But Sungjin did. He stood to lose her and he didn’t know if that was a risk he could take. Sungjin would give his life and soul to protect her. It wasn’t a decision. Just fact. He would guard this woman’s happiness with his life.

Somehow, he would give her a reason to choose him and stay.

Sky stepped back to look at him. “Oh, no.”

“What’s the matter?” He couldn’t read what the stunned expression on her face was supposed to mean. “Does it look terrible?”

“My practice-boyfriend looks hot.”

A pleased smile curved over his mouth, and the urge to check the mirror faded away. Her compliment made him feel fuzzy inside, even though his mind stuttered and tripped over the word practice-boyfriend. It was the practice part he didn’t like, but realistically speaking it was best to maintain that line between them. Even as he ignored all the warning signs and crossed over that line again and again without regrets.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah.” She stepped closer again and her thighs brushed against his knees. “I’m gonna have to throw a sack over your head. It’s for the greater good. You’re gonna give people heart attacks with that look. How do you feel about eyebrow slits and shaved lines?”

“What are you talking about?” he laughed. He suspected she might be easing his mind about this look, but now he wasn’t sure that she wasn’t forthright. She thought he looked _hot_. “You’re ridiculous.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Sky dusted him off with the towel. “You think I’m just saying that, but you literally look like you just stepped out of someone’s really dirty fantasy.”

“Someone?” he teased, catching her shirt between his fingers and pulling her even closer until his lips hovered over her collarbones.

She flicked her brow at him and smiled to herself. “I’ll clean this up and you can go return the clippers to—“

“What kind of fantasies?” While he still didn’t know how to handle this side of himself, he wanted this. He wasn’t even thinking about the mess outside, or the mess around him. He wasn’t thinking about it nearly as much as he was thinking about the mess inside his chest and lower down.

Sky raised a single elegant brow as she considered his question. She laughed before her eyes went intense. Then she brought her lips to his ear and whispered, “The one where you make me come with your mouth.”

He made a frustrated growling sound when her knee edged his crotch, and his fingers dug into her hips. Her gaze was on his mouth, and he wanted to give her everything that she asked and more. He shouldn’t feel beholden to her, so out of control.

He kissed her, revelling in the feel of her lips on his, of the way she hummed against his mouth and melted into him as though she belonged in his arms. His and no one else’s.

And she did.

Sky ran her tongue against the curve of his bottom lip, and he gave himself to her. He pushed away the anxieties about not responding the right way. Sungjin hadn’t been with a woman in eight years and he had no idea what he was doing, but Sky did and that was all the assurance he needed. Despite all his doubts and frustrations and fears, she was there to help him understand. And he wanted her. He wanted to make her forget everyone else who came before him. He so badly wanted to be good at pleasing her.

He just wanted her so fucking bad.

He kissed her thoroughly until his breaths came in heavy gasps and she braced herself on his shoulders as his hands steadied her waist. She was eager for him as he was for her, rocking into him and making soft sounds.

Sky broke the kiss in a low, wicked moan. “I’m waiting.”

His hands found their way under her shirt, trailing his fingers across the soft skin of her thighs, and scraping his palm against her bottom before he dragged her panties down her legs. She rewarded him with a long lick along the curl of his ear, pulling the soft lobe of it in her teeth, worrying it until he couldn’t focus.

In retaliation, he fastened his mouth on her nipple, tonguing her over the shirt and sucking until she arched into him and her knees buckled. Then he reached into her inner thighs to touch her wet heat. Sky pushed her herself into his hand, smiling devilishly at him, daring him that if he didn’t do for her, she would make him. His blood ran hot at her insistence.

His fingers teased and rubbed hard, and when it hit him she liked it rough he kept at it, kissing her all the while. Anchoring her knee on his thigh, Sky answered with grateful sighs and murmurs tumbling from her lips. One long finger slid into her, then another, and she pushed into the penetration.

“I still want your mouth on me,” she gasped, unabashedly craving for him and riding his hand.

“And you will,” he promised, caressing her with deep slow thrusts until her legs couldn’t hold her up anymore.

When he removed his touch, she made a frustrated sound, but then she took his glistening fingers to her lips and sucked them into her mouth. The intensity of her eyes and the heat of her mouth knocked the breath out of him and sent electric thrills straight down to his erection. His face burned even hotter, and the blush spread down from his ears and to his neck.

“Now,” she demanded, “Bed.”

Sungjin didn’t need to be told twice. He lifted her from her feet and carried her to bed.


	14. Chapter 14

Sky needed a moment to gather herself when Sungjin lay her down _his_ bed and yanked _his_ shirt off her.

A month ago he stood before her and bumbled his way to asking her to teach him about pleasure, about temptation, and about seduction. Now he was getting what he had not realized she’d promised him. The same thing she utterly, completely, and desperately wanted.

But she couldn’t just take him. Even if all she wanted was to pin him down and have her way with him, touch him with her hands and her mouth, Sky knew what Sungjin needed the most. And it was to allow himself to lose control. To allow himself to unleash his tightly prisoned desires. All this was so she could draw out his long hidden yearning.

And only after then would she show him every wicked and depraved fantasy she dreamed of.

She stretched out before him, all of her for him to see and look he did. Tonight she wore nothing, only her flaws and imperfections

He looked at her like he could see through her, and Sky wanted to hide herself from him from embarrassment because Sky without the magic was just Sky—even her name was a lie, something she chose for herself, an illusion to mask the fragile girl who lived inside a locked box inside her chest. Sungjin seemed to have seen her anyway. He saw beyond the glamour and he still wanted her. He liked what he saw.

No one had ever looked at her with all this wanting. Lust, she understood. The hunger in a man’s eyes when they looked at her, Sky could comprehend. But Sungjin didn’t look at her as though she was something made to pleasure him. He looked at her like he wanted nothing more but to consume her with his want.

“Say it again,” he rasped against her lips as his heavy weight pinned her beneath him. He lifted his head and met her gaze. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

The words were pleasure, heat and electricity threading through her so furiously she shuddered into him. “I want you to make me come with your mouth.”

He brushed a kiss on her cheek, down her neck, and her collarbones where his tongue lavished her in lush strokes. The room was spinning all of a sudden when he settled himself between her legs and his hard heat pressed against her. He rocked against her, once, twice, and she dug her fingers into his back, clawing at his shirt and wrenching it over his head. She wanted to see him, but he captured her lips into a long, deep kiss unlike anything she had ever experienced before and it shattered her.

“What is it about you?” he whispered, “I can’t help myself when I’m with you. I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop.”

“Then don’t stop,” she said into the kiss, “I don’t want you to stop. You won’t hurt me. So fuck me like you mean it.”

And then she didn’t care if the Earth was knocked off its axis because Sungjin’s kisses trailed lower, nipping at her skin and tasting her. She opened up for him, excited by the dark look he focused between her legs. “I’m wet for you, and I want your mouth so bad. So please, Sungjin.”

The request was raw and wretched, and he covered her with his mouth. Sky threw her head back with a whimper and fisted the sheets in the unbearable heat that bloomed inside her. His tongue was curious but clever, and she gasped out instructions and encouragement until he didn’t need them anymore. He licked and sucked, and her body coiled tighter and tighter.

When his fingers joined his mouth, Sky was positive she just transcended into a different plane. She couldn’t stop her hips from rising to meet his steady rhythm—couldn’t stop herself from holding him against her as she thrashed into him. Her senses were knocked wildly away from her reach and she didn’t resist this time. That sinful ecstasy concentrated low and deep inside her, she grabbed his head and she came apart, trembling and convulsing. Raw waves of sensation coursed through her, and she gulped in lungfuls of air. Even this was new, and she couldn’t remember how to breathe.

Sungjin was magic, the kind that had always been just beyond her reach until now.

She felt him smile against her, shockingly intimate and tender. He pressed a kiss on her inner thigh and at the top of her pelvic bone as he rose to align himself against her. As the aftershocks lulled her back to the present, she was met with the delicious discovery that he was still rigid against her thigh.

“Just give me, like, a moment,” she laughed. She couldn’t help feeling the giddy rush overpower whatever lust clouded her mind. “I need…I need a moment.”

Sungjin nudged her cheek with his nose, his breath tumbling against her chest. “You’re amazing.”

“ _You_ , sir, are amazing.” And good, and perfect, and everything Sky never thought she could have in this life. She rolled them over, swatting at his chest when he wouldn’t let her. Even as she climbed on top of him, spreading her legs and straddling his waist, he sat up and met her at eye level. “You’re unbelievable.”

He laughed, the sound low and wicked as he took her mouth, sucked and licked and claimed, until she had nothing more to give him. His arousal evident and demanding. “Me? It’s you. You’re magic.”

Until Sungjin literally swept her off her feet, Sky believed magic to only be illusions, smoke and mirrors, deception and showmanship—a sad escape because real life is tragic. She had come into his life bearing lock picks and hands that have known nothing else but the art of escape, and yet somehow here she was at the possibility of true transcendence. She’d kept her heart safe within layers and levels of trap doors and secret compartments, afraid of the day someone would come with a sledgehammer to knock her down.

Sungjin, however, had simply nudged at her loneliness. He called out her name, said the magic words, and she there she was waiting for the fog to clear and reveal her. He conjured her out of her own darkness.

As if by magic.

She levered herself over him, her gaze turning dark once again as she pressed her lips over the crest of his shoulder, and collar bones, and the long column of his neck. “You’re still not naked enough.”

Her touch wandered down his broad chest, feeling him strong and battle worn under the pads of her fingertips. She worked her way down, keeping it slow as she palmed his heat over the fabric of his boxers. He closed his eyes, his neck doing beautiful things with those corded muscles stretching and tensing.

“I want you to watch closely,” she whispered into his ear.

Sungjin opened his eyes slowly as she freed his erection from his confines and wrapped her fingers around his length. When he breathed out her name, it was so low it was groan barely out of his throat. The words she had on ruining him retreated into the shadows where they belonged. All she had was a bright light.

Heavens, she wanted him. She wanted him. _She wanted him_. She wanted him so much, there was nothing else.

She loved the soft steel of him, loved the way he unravelled easily under her touch. “I didn’t want you to leave me the night we met,” she confessed. “I wanted you to stay with me. I’ve never felt so safe in my life.”

“I…didn’t…want to leave you, but…I…” He panted the words as she fisted the length of him. “I couldn’t breathe with you so close. You’re so beautiful.”

She kissed his lips. “I was a mess.”

“Didn’t make you any less beautiful.” His hands came to brush her hair away from her face, caressing her face and thumbing her lips.

“Thanks for your jacket, you know I’m never giving that back.”

He laughed, though it was strained as she continued to work on him with slow, calculated strokes and squeezes. She loved her hands on him. Loved the way he twitched and throbbed. “It’s yours. It was yours even before I knew you were to have it.”

 _Give me your heart, too_. “I wanted to run after you, you know. I really wanted you to stay with me.”

“You were hurt. If you did, I don’t think I could have said no.”

Her head fell onto his shoulder, a feeling swelling inside her chest at the admission.Emotion clogged her throat. “I’m not hurt anymore.”

“No, you’re not.”

Her smile was absolutely irreverent as she met his gaze. “I want you in my mouth. Can I do that?” She had never been so desperate to please or elated at the thought, her heart stumbled around her chest like a drunken fool.

“I don’t think I can last—“ he drew a sharp breath, and his rawness undid her. “I need you now. I want to be inside you. Please.”

She was nodding before he was done with the thought. “Condoms.”

“Drawer.”

With Sungjin’s hand under her knee and keeping her anchored to him, Sky leaned over to the side to fumble around his side drawer as he kicked off the remaining piece of clothing between them. She found the box at the very back, behind a fresh pile of socks. As she pulled herself back up, she pushed him down to his back and read the label. “Party fun box. Comes in assorted flavours and textures for optimum pleasure and maximum experience.”

He lifted himself on his elbows in a panic. “I can explain.”

“You don’t have to,” she replied, finding the yellow post-it note stuck on the top of the box. “Dearest comma Sungjin, we hope you rise to the occasion. Love lots, Jje, YK, 1Feel, and Yoon Dowoon. P.S. Sky, sweetheart, the glow-in-the-dark ones promise you an out of this world experience.”

She raised a curious brow. Really, she shouldn’t tease, but Sungjin was just too cute. “Any flavour preferences? We have coffee, banana, snakeskin—what the fuck—and—“

“I don’t think I’m ready for the glow-in-the-dark,” he admitted, letting his head hang back as he searched the ceiling for salvation. “Plain is underrated. Whatever happened to plain?”

Someone help her, Sky was falling hard and there was nothing she could do to stop her descent.

She tore off the plastic wrap, holding back a comment on being the one to break the seal. With unsteady, clumsy hands, she found the least threatening looking one then she kissed him and rolled the condom down him herself.

All at once, she was met with the implications of this moment, of what it meant for him and for her. Sungjin kept his eyes on her, on his face was an expression drawn with pain from too much longing. She kissed him hard. She kissed him like she meant it.

Sky guided him to the entrance of her and she sank into him slowly, sucking in a breath as he filled her completely she thought she might expire from the hard heat of him stretching her. His hands gripped her thighs, and she braced her hands on his chest. Neither of them moved. None of them said a word. Sky couldn’t. They fit so perfectly together like this.

Like lock and key.

“Sky?”

A moan escaped her throat and she kissed the worry away from his face. “I’m okay. Good, even. Perfect. It doesn’t hurt. Are you okay?”

He nodded, though she felt his tremors from beneath her.

She lifted herself, testing the feel of him inside her. Still perfect. She slid back down and, yes, even more perfect. A ragged broken curse left his lips and she kissed that too. Slowing her breathing, she grinded against him and he grit his teeth and hissed.

“Like you mean it,” she reminded him, taking his lips once again. _Love me like you mean it_.

Her whispered encouragement was punctuated with his hands coming up to explore her once again, rough hands all over her curves and soft parts. Sky wasn’t thinking straight anymore. Everything had changed now, she had changed. Relinquishing control, she let herself sag into arms as he thrust into her. Wet kisses landed on her, as well as greedy nips and hot licks. Only when she was pressed against him once more, panting and nearly wild with heavy, tingling desire, did he give her what she craved. He went hard and fast, instinctively knowing how to claim her, how to devastate her.

His name was a prayer on her lips, and perhaps it was that which snapped the final thread of his control.

Watching him lose his control set something else free inside her, and she let him set the pace. This euphoria was unlike anything she had experienced before and passion crashed over her. For the first time, she let herself be swept away in the ocean of pleasure and the storm of emotions he brought her.

Sky came first, crying out his name over and over, chasing her breaths as her body threatened to give up on her and fade away in this feeling. Sungjin flipped them over, finding purchase in the last moments of his frenzy before going over the edge himself and he shuddered and groaned and slumped atop her with sloppy kisses to her shoulder and neck.

He rolled off of her, but she curled into his side and he wrapped his arm around her holding her over his chest. His heart was beating rapidly beneath her ear mirroring her own.

“Sky?” he whispered.

“I’m here,” she answered.

She closed her eyes and fell into the kiss and she nestled into the comfort of his warm embrace. As he kissed her, a startling realisation settled into her bones.For one moment, she let herself imagine what a future with him would be like. One that promised her safety, one where she promised him magic. If she could have his heart.

They lay together for long minutes, until their breath was steady again, until the world stopped spinning, until the dawn broke through the windows in a soft yellow light.

Sky raised her eyes to him and choked on the words, shoving them back into the most secret places of her heart.

_I think I love you._


	15. Chapter 15

 

Sungjin felt as though he had made up for the past eight years in the past eight days alone. It wasn’t just the sex, though there was that easily becoming a part of their rhythms. There was also the not knowing how to describe the way he felt when Sky was even remotely in his periphery or even just in his mind. Basically, any time Sky crossed the room to be near him, or smiled at him, or laughed at something he said, and even when they weren’t together, he felt as though nothing could possibly be so bad in the world. He was grinning to himself so much, Dowoon was sick of him and often made it known. When he wasn’t fooling around with Sky like a shy hormonal teenager, they had long dinners, they did chores together, they had meandering conversations, and intimate silences. Sungjin had absolutely no doubt in his mind.

He was in love with Sky.

He loved her.

“Why are you so nervous?” he asked as she fidgeted with the hem of her dress, worrying the soft yellow fabric over her knees. He reached over to take her hand, completely engulfing her delicate fingers in his. They haven’t even left the truck yet.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

He searched her face, her brows drawn together. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Tonight he was taking her as his date to one of the hospital’s staff parties. It wasn’t a particularly fancy event, and it was mostly people bringing their families and significant others along to have dinner and hang out. Sungjin wasn’t sure yet what the extent of what he was going to be asked about Sky, but he had a prepared set of answers. As to how he was going to introduce her, that was something they could cover before they headed into the building. First they had to make it out of the parking lot.

She answered with a weak shrug. Sungjin took her hesitation as a chance to make the decision for them both, and he helped her out of the vehicle. Even in the fading light of sunset, she looked radiant in her simple dress, her white sneakers that had definitely seen better days, and her hair loose down her shoulders. It was a completely opposite look from when they first met but no less breathtaking.

She shoved her hands into his denim jacket that she wore. “Are you sure I look okay? I mean…” She looked down at her shoes.

“You just recovered from an ankle injury, you’re not going to see anything other your sneakers for a while. And you look beautiful, what are you talking about?”

She shook the compliment away. “What do I even say to people?”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he assured her. “Misdirection _is_ your strong suit.” Somehow he got the feeling he had said the wrong thing when she started biting at her nails. He took her hand in his again and squeezed, feeling the cold sweat on her palms. “I’ll be with you the whole time, I’ll handle the talking part.”

For Sungjin, talking was just talking, being around people in these situations was easy because he didn’t have to worry about saying the right thing or acting interested as he would on a date. There was none of the overthinking, or the push-and-pull games. All he had to be was polite, and that had been ingrained in his very sinew since he was a child.

She nodded, her mouth pressing into an uneasy smile as she looked up at him. “Okay. Then I’ll leave it all up to you.”

Once they were inside the hospital, Sungjin lead them through the familiar hallways and corridors and all the familiar faces saying hello, and to the courtyard. When they arrived, there was a small setup of food on a long table, and anywhere between fifty and a hundred people walking in and out, changing hands and places between their shifts and breaks. The buzz of casual conversation and pop music from the speakers enveloped them. It was a comforting sight for him, seeing the people he worked with take a well-deserved break. Sungjin always looked forward to these things, except for the part where Wonpil would try to set him up on a date as soon as the senior staff members and aunties started their barrage of relationship questions.

He greeted people as soon as he walked in, trading familiar niceties and introducing Sky. Just Sky. No labels. Next to him, Sky was uncharacteristically reserved and her fidgety hands were more restless than usual he’d had to hold her hand the entire time. So much for being careful about not giving the others ideas and assuming things about him and Sky.

“So what do you do?” asked one of the senior ER nurses. One of Wonpil’s mentors, both in the emergency room and the matchmaking department. Sungjin hoped she wouldn’t mention that he went out on a date with her daughter because he didn’t even stay for dessert for that one, no matter how much she tried to convince him.

“She’s a street magician,” Sungjin answered, seeing the deer in headlights look on Sky’s face. “She’s really good.”

“That is…unconventional,” the auntie said, regarding Sky with an assessing look. “It’s very interesting the things you young ones do these days. Is it hard to be successful in that career?”

“She also engineers and designs shows,” Sungjin added. He was about to say more, but held back when Sky squeezed his hand and very subtly shook her head. “It’s just like any other job,” he concluded kindly.

“So that’s the kind of girl you end up dating?” exclaimed the nurse. “And here we were setting you up with doctors and nurses! You know, I really thought you were going to finally settle down with that girl from the Psychiatry department. Or was it that fine young lady from physiotherapy? I thought you had a really good spark with that Ayeon girl.”

Sungjin just laughed the comment away good-naturedly. What else was he supposed to do anyway? He searched the crowd, found Dowoon, and waved at him. “I just saw Dowoon. We’re going to go over there and get some food. Have a wonderful night!”

Then he took Sky and steered them away, toward Dowoon who made space for them in his little corner near the drinks table. “I’m guarding the punch bowl,” Dowoon said, though there was no punchbowl, only a cooler with soda and juice, and a water dispenser.

A couple more introductions later, one of the senior consultants who had been egging Sungjin to take the paramedics licensing course _as soon as possible_ asked, “How did you two meet?”

“In my ambulance,” Sungjin answered with a laugh. “And then we met again about a week later?” This was the tricky part, how not to inadvertently reveal she was living with him. That would only open up a can of worms. And then it was just worms. Everywhere.

“Really? Tell me more about yourself, then,” continued the good doctor. She had also given Sky one of those head to toe looks. “Because I really want to know. You’re the only one who seemed to have gotten this boy’s interest. We’ve been setting him up for the past three years. Since the day he started. I mean, look at him. He’s very handsome.”

Even without Sky’s panicked glance, Sungjin, saw exactly where this was headed, and intervened before it got too intense. “Doc, I think you should probably ease up on the questions,” he said amiably, “You’re scaring her.”

“Pssssh, the backbone on this girl is enough to handle you, what’s an old lady?”

Old ladies were the best and the worst, and Sungjin meant no disrespect. Only utter admiration. And abject fear.

Sky, though, had shut down on him. Wasn’t this kind of interaction part of her job? In principle, this should be just like a stage for her. In his head, Sky would be dazzling the room with her sparkling wit and winsome smile. But she was tightlipped. Prim and proper, but Sungjin knew her too well. Once he had used Dowoon again as an excuse to get away, Sungjin pulled her into a corner of the courtyard, just a few ways away from the main building.

“What’s really the matter?” It wasn’t a relationship if they couldn’t talk about things.

He almost took it back because _it wasn’t a relationship_.

_Yet._

She turned to face him with a startled look. Then she took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Hospitals freak me out.”

“I’m sorry.” He should have known. He should have realized. Sky had told him about her mother’s accident, the same one she’d had to live through. The very reason she had looked so small and fragile the night they met and he had left her. Alone. Not even Ace or any of her old crewmates came to stay with her. Not even a visit. Sungjin had been looking forward to this night, it hadn’t occurred to him to ask her how she felt about hospitals. He just asked her if she wanted to go with him; kissed her happily when she had said yes. “Do you want to leave now?”

She clutched at the sleeve of his black bomber jacket. “No, I don’t want to leave. I already got dressed up and got made up for this. I don’t want all that effort go to waste. And you were so excited about being here, and everyone’s so happy to see you. You didn’t tell me you’re some kind of local celebrity here. I think half the staff is in love with you.”

He tilted his head searching for the truth behind her misdirection. “Just tell me if you want to leave and we’ll leave. No questions asked.” Just because he was completely at ease in this environment didn’t mean it was enough for the both of them.

Sky leaned forward on her tiptoes. “That’s not necessary, thank you. I’ll be okay, I promise. I want to be here. Just give me a minute?”

Sungjin spotted Wonpil, still in scrubs, making a beeline for them looking like Christmas came early. Sungjin raised his eyes and dug deep for patience. Sky was stressed out as it were, adding Kim Wonpil to the mix would either make it better or worse, and there was no way to tell until it happened.

“I wanted to see it with my own two eyes,” Wonpil said in his approach. “I was in the elevator when I heard the second floor nurses talking about how they heard from first floor security that you brought a date. So it’s true, then? Park Sungjin finally brought someone to these things.”

“I brought my mother last year,” Sungjin replied. Though that didn’t work out quite as planned, given his mother had employed Wonpil and recruited the entire floor into making his love life happen.

“And see where that got you,” Wonpil answered sagely. “Sky, it’s so nice to see you again. I’m so glad you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” she answered, but it came with a stiff smile. “I’m sorry, but I need to run to the ladies room.”

“Down the hall and to the left,” Sungjin said, searching her face for any sign of distress and finding nothing more but what he’d already seen. It unnerved him, knowing what else she was capable of hiding.

Sky repeated the directions he gave her then said, “I’ll be right back.”

Sungjin watched her go until she disappeared into the crowd, second-guessing himself if he should follow her and take her home instead.

Wonpil eyed him curiously, seemingly aware of the situation. Or anyway, aware of _a_ situation. “She’s just going to the bathroom. She’s not leaving you.”

“Why are you even here?” Sungjin answered. “Your shift doesn’t end until tomorrow.”

Wonpil gestured at the food and the space Sky left behind. “I’m hungry. Also as I just said, which you so obviously have not been listening to, I heard you brought a date and I had to see for myself. How are you?”

Sungjin kept his peripheral vision on high. “We just saw each other yesterday, what are you going on about?”

“You can keep deflecting all you want, but everyone can see you’re ridiculously in love.Do you even see yourself smiling? Dowoon said you keep singing silly love songs when you drive around. I never thought I’d see the day. I had to see if the feeling was reciprocated.”

Sungjin couldn’t shake the feeling that Wonpil still didn’t fully trust Sky. In a weird way he was touched at Wonpil’s concern, and maybe that was the main reason he brought her along tonight. Sungjin knew he couldn’t keep Sky away from his friends forever, and he didn’t want to. “Go easy on her.”

“ _You_ go easy on her,” Wonpil shot back. “I can’t believe you threw her right into this without even giving her something like a practice round. This is way intense.”

Ah. That was it. “You’re just upset you didn’t get to interrogate her before everyone else. Did you get your answer yet?”

“I literally just saw her for like thirty seconds. You’re a shitty friend if you don’t introduce the girl you’re seriously dating to the people who will push other people into the line of fire for you.”

He appreciated that. Not that Wonpil was about to know that. Ever. “I’m going to go check on her.”

Sungjin found Sky even before he made it toward the direction of the restrooms. He’d been avoiding Wonpil’s nagging when he noticed the little crowd near one of the pediatric unit’s many hallways. Sky on her knees, surrounded by a gaggle of children clapping and squealing as she pulled another coin from behind a young girl’s ear. One more time. Two more times. As many times as the kids asked her to make something disappear and reappear again.

“Not so impressive from this vantage point, I have to admit.”

Sungjin sent a sidelong glance at Jae, who appeared out of nowhere sipping an extra large strawberry milkshake. Like Wonpil, Jae was also in his scrubs and his white coat, with his stethoscope dangling from his neck and an array of pens in a pocket protector. His hair was sticking up in weird places, like he’d just rolled out of bed after a power nap in one of the residents’ quarters.

From where they were standing, they could see the sleight-of-hand involved, but it made the trick no less impressive. It didn’t make Sky any less impressive. The children were utterly entranced by her. Sungjin was utterly entranced by her.

“I think it’s very impressive,” Wonpil said. “It’s like a full-on recipe for the you-know-what.”

“ _Do_ I know what?” Jae asked, straw still between his lips. “I came down to see if it was true you brought a date. My patient was talking about it with one of the nurses, and _et voila,_ you did. Really, Sungjin? You bring her to the one party we can’t go to because we’re on duty? Did you think we wouldn’t find out? Wait ’til Brian hears about this. He’ll be out of surgery in about five more hours.”

Younghyun knew about it, to be fair. Sungjin had sought his counsel though his mind had already been made up. Younghyun merely echoed what Dowoon had said to him. As long as Sky was okay with it, then there shouldn’t be a problem. But there were too many unseen variables. Sungjin should have predicted this—he predicted the questions and did what he could, but why didn’t it feel enough?

“I think you should go save her now,” Jae suggested when a little boy jumped into her arms and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I think someone’s about to steal your girl.”

“Do you have any idea how many hot single dads come and go here?” Wonpil added, slightly nudging Sungjin forward. “Not to mention the very attractive male nurses.”

“Which you would know all about,” Jae said with an annoying smile.

“I know a few things, yes,” Wonpil allowed with an equally annoying smile. “I know everything.”

“Sky,” Sungjin called out, needing no more encouragement least of all from Jae and Wonpil.

Shaking his head, he came to Sky’s rescue just as the kid’s mom came to retrieve her child, apologising as she extricated the boy from Sky’s arms. Sky turned to him, pushing her hair away from her face and tucking the loose strands behind her ears. She was flushed, a little out of breath, but smiling. A genuine smile.

“Sorry, all of a sudden I had a previous engagement I couldn’t get out of.”

Sungjin smiled back. “How did this even happen?”

Sky shrugged. “I saw this kid looking really sad and I guess I kind of just…pulled a coin out of his ear and…and then there’s a bajillion of them. Remind me not to do children’s birthday parties. I don’t care how broke I am. Also maybe I should always keep a bunch of scarves on me. Paper cranes. Paper flowers. All I have is a deck of cards.”

He took her hand and squeezed tightly. Only Sky would end up saving a life with magic, even when it risked leaving her escape on the line. “You’re surprisingly good with kids.”

Her gaze wavered then, and he was sure he’d said the wrong thing. Her eyes flew over his shoulder. She waved at his friends. “Okay, back to the real world I guess.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

“No,” she said on an exhale. “Let’s do this. I’m sorry I freaked out. It’s just…all these white walls, the smell of disinfectant, and you know…that hospital mood.”

His eyes softened as he rubbed circles on her hand with his thumb. The last thing he wanted was to make her panic. After the way she’d been so patient with him, it was the least he could do for her. Other than let her stay in his home, what else had he done for her? There had to be more. Enough to make her stay.

“Come on.” She nudged him forward, and back to where Jae and Wonpil were waiting. “You were having a good time, let’s go. I’m hungry. Oh, but I really do need to pee.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

 _This_ was her new stage now.

Sky shook out her hands and her feet, and stretched her neck. Out of habit, she lifted her leg and stretched her hamstrings and her calves, using the concrete plant box as a makeshift barre. No one was going to stuff her inside a box today, but the familiar pull of muscles took her mind off the fact that she was performing for the first time again. In twenty more minutes, she would make her debut with the Legend Crew.

A small crowd of the crew’s followers already formed an audience in a small square further down the park. All week long, Taec had been dropping teasers and location clues all over their social media. The plan was simple. It was just a series of magic tricks and mind games all live streamed on their channel. A new kind of magic, a fresh take on the old classics.

For her, it was an attack on Ace as well. The closest she could get to revenge for what he had done to her. She may never work the big stage again—not that she wanted to—but that in no way limited her options. Sky was done being in the shadows.

“Q,” Wooyoung had said to her when she had voiced out her worries, “there’s enough sunshine to go around.”

She turned her face up to catch the light and took a deep breath. Sky wasn’t ashamed of doing magic for a living. Though some may accuse her of lying on stage and making money off deception, she could easily say the same thing about actors and movies. It was honest work.She loved the joy it brought people, loved the way she could surprise them in the most unexpected of ways. Who else could say they had made someone believe in magic? But standing in the middle of a hospital courtyard a few days ago in the same breathing space as doctors, nurses, and other health care providers, of course she was ashamed. She was ashamed because it wasn’t just that she had been a magician’s assistant. She had also been the main transactional currency Ace had used to get into shows or clubs or financial backing.

Sungjin knew about this and yet there he had been, showing her off and introducing her to his life. It made her feel like such a fraud. In what universe was she a match for Sungjin? It sucked to admit it, but she just wasn’t the kind of girl that was meant to be shown off to parents, and mentors, and everybody else in the workplace. Not even to his friends, who’d somehow found their way into her tiny pool of people whose smiles and laughter mattered to her. They were simply on two different planes of existence. Then there were the questions, and her heart had felt like it was being ripped off her chest. Like someone had pried open her ribs and yanked out her organs and shredded them into tiny bits. Everything had felt wrong. Sky felt like the ropes that bound her hands had been too tight and in the wrong knots, and she couldn’t push the trap door open, and when she had breathed in, water filled her lungs.

Escape was an art form, and Sky was a master. Somehow, she had managed to survive the night, fielding off increasingly invasive questions and curiosities regarding her and her line of work. But she could only do so much.

There it was again, that feeling caging her chest. She loved her parents so much, she bound her hands and locked herself in tiny spaces and taught herself how to disappear. She had loved Ace, she performed the same old party tricks over and over again in exchange for scraps of his affection. Her ambition had been a tainted love. And her love had been broken for so long she didn’t know if she could ever fix it.

If she felt stifled and trapped, it was because she had to find a way to protect herself while she made other people happy. She had wanted to make her parents happy. She had wanted to make Ace happy. And she wanted, more than anything, to make Sungjin happy.

Love, as it were, made you do uncomfortable things, it forced you into places you didn’t want to go, and clipped your wings.

Love made you do foolish things.

Like attend parties where she clearly did not belong. From now on, every time Sungjin left for work she would be seeing those faces around him, beautiful and intelligent women who saved lives everyday. Women who looked forward to starting a family and bearing his children. Sungjin’s future wife was a lucky fucking bastard.

“You good?” Wooyoung asked, sitting next to her foot on the plant box. In his hands were three sealed fresh decks of cards. He handed them to her. “Is your boyfriend coming?”

She had long given up on correcting Wooyoung simply because he was doing it on purpose and would only continue to annoy her with it, saying she should just make it real. What was more annoying was how easy Wooyoung could read her. It was very inconvenient.

“He’s somewhere here.” With Dr. Younghyun, who decided his free day was to be spent with Sungjin. With her. Something about Younghyun tickled her defensiveness. It was the way he looked at things. It was eerily similar to the way she looked at things, too.

“Bring him along more often,” he laughed. “Just in case we’ll need emergency response unit for, you know, things. Chansung and Junho are planning something and, I don’t know, I trust Junho but Chansung…”

“Conflict of interest,” she answered, taking the decks off his hands and sitting next to him. “Maybe not for the rest of you.”

“I think he’d be very interested in keeping you safe.”

Sky laughed, but there was none of the humour. “I don’t even know what a guy like that is doing with a girl like me.”

Sungjin wasn’t really _with_ her, though.

Not even after all that.

After the party, she had been so emotionally drained she had fallen asleep on the way home. Sungjin carried her, piggy-back style, to their apartment. She had totally blacked out. She had made up for it in the morning, with her mouth, and all was well again. But until when were they going to live in that vacuum? Sooner or later their worlds would have to come together. It was happening already.

Wooyoung swung his legs forward and back. “He’s a lucky duck you chose him at all. What’s up?”

“I’m so scared.”

A truth she couldn’t even say to Sungjin. It felt like the last lock before her great escape. One last knot and her hands would be free. Sky didn’t know if she had loved him enough to admit to that.

“That’s good,” Wooyoung said, “That means you’ll do everything it takes to stay away from the things that will hurt you. Hard to go about life believing you have nothing to lose.”

“Better to go about it having something to prove?”

His eyes twinkled with mischief. “It’s a lot more fun, that’s for sure. Now let’s show Ace we’re always going to be so much better than he could ever be in his dreams.”

 

***

 

Watching Sky own the makeshift stage and entrance an audience, Sungjin realized one fundamental truth: Sky was happiest when she was happy. And she was happiest performing in front of an audience, asking them to watch closely and if they believed in magic.

Sky had asked the same of him too, and Sungjin was definitely a believer—but he digressed.

Really, he shouldn’t be so jealous of the full smiles she gave her volunteers. Smiles he wanted for himself because they were genuine and they reached her eyes. When Sky laughed, she laughed with her whole body, curling her elbows and knees closer to her center. The person on stage right now was nothing like the magician’s assistant he had brought to the back his ambulance. That girl had made a disappearing act, and someone else had taken her place.

Someone real.

Suddenly, he missed her crutch when she said something about needing Wooyoung with her for a trick. He had about fifteen ways to maul a man in his head. Sky didn’t _need_ Wooyoung. Even for a trick. Or in general.

Sungjin wasn’t even sure Sky needed _him_.

Younghyun turned to him with an amused glance. “I’m kinda annoyed I was stuck in the operating room all night the night you brought her along to the staff party. I heard the food was really good, too.”

Sungjin stepped to the side when a girl who was filming with her phone came a little too close. “Tell me you didn’t hear the news while you were elbow deep in guts.”

Younghyun answered after the applause that came after Sky tossed her cards into the air and found the volunteer’s card hidden in his pocket. “I was, actually. Kind of. One of the residents heard from one of the junior interns who heard from the nurse’s station who said it was a special delivery from Jae.”

“I’m surprised the information hadn’t been warped into something weird.” Like that telephone game where you pass a message from one end to the other and you would see how much that message had changed through the number of mouths and ears it had passed through.

“It was very simple. Sungjin. Date. Keywords. The rest was bubblewrap. Packing peanuts. Fillers.”

“And what exactly did the packing peanuts say?” He raised a brow. Sky had definitely made an impression. It was inevitable. She was doing it now, and she would continue to do so. As Sungjin watched her, a sinking sensation gutted him. Magic was clearly her passion in life. Her eyes lit up as much as her presence lit up the room.

Younghyun eyed him warily. “That’s not important.”

“Now, I really want to know.”

“Sungjin—“

“Younghyun, just tell me.”

“They said the only way you’d walk in with a girl like that was if you paid her to do it.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Sungjin scoffed.

But it wasn’t at all that far from the truth.

At the end of the day, what Sungjin and Sky had was physical. Sungjin had to do something about that soon enough. But what could he possibly do to convince her to stay?

After the show, Sungjin and Younghyun stayed behind as the audience dispersed and the crew packed up. As well as they could, given they kept being asked to take photos and to answer questions.

That was when he saw a man in a tailored suit walk up to Sky. Though Sungjin only saw his profile, he recognised him as Ace. Sky faced him, and her expression mirrored his and half the crew who saw them. Surprise, anger, and also nausea.

Sungjin was too far to hear anything, but seeing it was enough. Younghyun pulled him back with a reminder to stay calm in these situations. But Sungjin had no time for calm. He wanted to punch Ace in the face, break his nose and break his legs, break his windpipe too. He watched as Ace’s fingers brushed over her arm, stroked leisurely upward, and tilted her chin to look up at him. Then he leaned in and whispered something into her ear. Why wasn’t Sky moving away? Did she want him to touch her?

Abruptly, Sky knocked Ace’s hand away and ran off. Sungjin broke away from Younghyun and followed her down to the line of trees lining the park.

“Sky!” he called out to her.

She paused by a park bench. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Then don’t.” He closed the distance between them, taking her into his arms and holding there even as she pushed him away. He tightened his hold around her and cradled her head with his hand. “That’s enough. Let’s go home.”

She sighed and buried her nose into his chest, breathing him in. “Yeah, good idea. I need to get my stuff. I found a new place to stay.”

He bent his neck to look at her. “What do you mean?”

“I need to go get my stuff so I can move out.”

He swept his hands up and down her back. Touch calmed her down, he understood this much. His body communicated so well with her, even when the words failed him. Hers too, and she sank into him despite her words. “What are you talking about?”

“I told you, after I get a job and find somewhere to live I’m out.”

He gripped her by the shoulders and gently pulled her away so he can see her face.She’d spoken so coldly to him, he had to be sure. “Sky, you don’t have to move out.”

This was the part where he told her he loved her. The part where he asked her to stay with him. That he wanted her in so many ways he didn’t even have words for half of them. But the words didn’t feel enough. Saying so, like this and in this moment, it felt wrong.

“I’ve run out of practical sex things to show you,” she said, the words were clipped and harsh. “You’ll figure out the rest of it if you have to, but you’ve got the basics. You can go find someone else now and make her yours in all the ways. And I need to focus on what I need to do with my life.”

His lungs were caving in and his throat hurt. “Where is this coming from? What did that guy say to you?”

It was the only logical explanation. Ace must have said something to her. He must have done something to her all those years that even to this day, it only took him seconds to destroy her. Anger filled him, violent and raw.

“He said to remember who I am as if I ever forget,” she said numbly.

”Why would you even listen to him?”

“Because he’s right about me.” She gestured weakly toward the direction from which they came. “This is what I’m going to amount to. I can pretend to be more, but this is what I am. And even as I stand there in front of all those people, it’s not going to change who I am. They will find ways to dig up my past and they’ll see me and they’ll realize—“

“And they’ll realize the magic has always been you.”

“There is nothing magic about me.”

“That’s not true,” he said. "Sky, you are magic.”

“You know I’ve fucked people for favours, right?” She met his eyes with a serious gaze. “And it wasn’t because someone made me do it. It was _my_ choice. It was _my_ decision. No one forced me to do it.”

Sungjin shook his head, resisting the urge to let her go because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that the moment he let her go, he was going to lose her. That as soon as she found an opening, Sky would vanish without a trace. “None of that matters anymore,” he said, pulling her back into his arms. “I don’t care about that. I care about _you_.”

Sungjin didn’t know what to say to someone who was hurting like this—he wasn’t like Sky who had known exactly what to do for him when he was breaking down. Sky, who always knew what he needed and how to provide. He had no words for her. All he could offer her was the safety of his embrace and the promise of home. All he had to give her was his heart.

“You know I just said yes to your ridiculous request because I needed somewhere to stay, right? And now that’s all done and over with. The past three months were amazing. You don’t need me anymore.”

Even if the first part was true, Sungjin wouldn’t allow her to drag them down this blackhole. Because that last part had no truth in it. Sungjin needed her in his life. The past three months had felt so much like love, he couldn’t imagine anything or anyone else taking her place. “I know you’re upset because of what happened. And you have every right to be, but I won’t let you do this to yourself. Let’s go home, Sky.”

She shook her head and gingerly removed his hands from her shoulders. “Thank you. My time with you will always be special.”

Not special enough, apparently.

“You sound like you’re saying goodbye.”

“You didn’t think this would last forever, did you?”

He hoped it would.

Sky inhaled a big, shaky breath. She did not cry. Not even one tear spilled from her eyes. “I’ll go get my things while you’re at work. I promise, no funny business. I’ll leave my keys on the table.”

This was it, Sungjin recognized. This was the magic trick. Sky’s best disappearing act as of yet. “That’s it?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

He drew her back in his arms, holding her fiercely against his chest. “Do a better job putting on a show because if this is your best, you have a long way to go before you’re fooling people into believing in magic.”

The first sob broke him, and then she was shaking in his arms, hot tears spilling into his shirt. “I’m sorry. Let’s go home. Please, Sungjin. I want to go home.”

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

Sky couldn’t remember the last time she cried, but she had cried all night and in the morning when she woke up, she cried again when Sungjin pulled her into his embrace as they lay in bed together. Then they were asleep again. When they woke again, it was sunset. The silence was enough. No words were needed. His heart beating steady in her ears was enough to assure her that somehow everything would be okay even if right now they were not. But she didn’t care about being okay, or being happy. Right now all she wanted was to feel nothing.

“Don’t forget who you are,” Ace had said to her. “And when you remember, I’ll be waiting for you to come running back to me.”

The words had triggered all the fears that she had shut away, and her fears were a crushing weight against her chest and she staggered with them until she could no longer see or breathe. But Sungjin pressed her deeper into him, his arms heavy at her sides as his hands warmed the cold away from her arms as he kissed her tears away.

She didn’t need comforting.

She didn’t _deserve_ it.

Any feeble and insincere protests she might have made were lost in the sweetness of his kisses on her brow, the crest of her cheek, and the corner of her mouth. Sungjin’s warmth wrapped all over her, and when she breathed in all she could smell was his skin. Sungjin felt like home. Like her heart was safe and she could rest her weariness in him. Like he could literally kiss all her fears away and mend her brokenness with his hands.

“When you found me I was broken.” Saying the words felt damning. Sky felt like she was standing on stage wearing her normal person clothes—as she had done her street show—but no cards in her hands, no magic rope and knots, no props, nothing. Just her. Vulnerable and ready to be booed away back to the darkness. “I think I broke myself trying into fit in all those cramped spaces because I thought it was the only way I could fit myself into people’s hearts.”

Sungjin had such a big heart, such a great capacity for love, Sky felt so tiny inside all that space. He was a good man. Intelligent, caring, protective, and loyal. Sky only had the broken pieces of glass that shattered in her fall.

“I don’t know what I would have done without you,” she cried, “what would I ever do without you?”

“What kind of question is that?” he murmured, “I’m not going anywhere. Tell me how to make it better.”

“You already did.” She was having a hard time keeping it together as it was. Her eyes burned and her throat hurt, and she ached everywhere. But she had to toughen up and pick herself from the floor and take care of herself. But Sky was tired. She’d been taking care of herself for so long, she was trapped in this life. And now she was trapped by her feelings for him. Trapped by love yet again. “Why are you still here?”

She loved too much and that was the problem. She didn’t know how to hold back. She would give herself entirely and expected nothing in return. She always felt like she had nothing to lose, but now everything was fading away.

“You can’t keep using your past as an excuse to push me away. I’m not afraid. Your truth is my truth. If I’m not enough for you, then I’ll accept that and move on. But if you could love me, then even I can believe that I can be enough for you. If you can trust and accept me, then I am yours.”

She lifted her head. Sungjin’s eyes were large and dark, and honest. When he kissed her, there was no hesitation, no calculation, just him achingly present. They’d had each other as they laughed, and she’d had him when he moaned and he’d taken her while she whispered dirty things into his ear. She’d never been taken like this, dark and uncertain.

“I’m here.” He rolled over her, pinning her down with his weight. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Her body shivered with need. “You look at me like I could be anything. Like I could be enough.”

“Sky, you are more magic than this world deserves. And if you let me, I mean to make you mine. All mine and I will never let you go. Not ever.”

“Is that a threat?”

“I mean it. I love you. I will love you until you can’t hold a deck of cards in your hands, until you can’t walk, until we’re old and grey. I will have my way with you.”

“And what way is that?” A dimple popped on her cheek.

“With love and with hope.”

“Oh, darn,” she said placidly. Inside, her heart was going off with thunderous applause. He’d stolen the breath from her lungs, drowned her with everything that he was. “Here I was hoping for your cock.”

“That too.” He smiled as if he couldn’t help himself. “Sky, I’m trying to communicate something here.”

Sky, too. Despite herself, the corners of her mouth lifted. “I’m just saying, it’s a good thing you can control your urges because I would have had my way with you by now. All these dirty things in my mind. All the things I could do to you. Filthy things like do your laundry when you have to work overtime or god-forbid cook dinner for you, and the absolute worst, get you new socks when the ones you have are wearing out. How dare you not let me have this terrible mood.”

“I love you, Sky.”

A laugh spilled from her mouth, as did a new wave of hot tears. “How dare you threaten me with love.”

Perhaps Sungjin was the greatest magician of them all, the way he could take her so small and so fragile, put her inside his heart where she felt so small, and say the magic words to make her grow big and strong so now she fit snugly inside. All her life, Sky had only known the kind of love that held on tightly like a vise. The kind that felt like thunderstorms and hurricanes. Sungjin’s love was soft like the morning dew and gentle like a flower opening up in bloom. The kind of magic that was understated but real.

He nudged the hollow of her cheek with his nose. “You started it. Why’d you have to go make me fall in love with you? I wouldn’t know how to love you.”

“You’re very good at it,” she laughed. “You let me steal your clothes. You tell me you think I’m magic, but really it’s you. Because of you, I am more of myself than I’ve ever been. That I could be loved like this.”

He sucked in ragged breath. “I thought I was broken until you showed me I wasn’t.You, who you are and the way you treat me. That maybe all this time maybe I was just waiting for you.”

“I love you. I want to have you.”

“You already do. You already have me. All of me.”

Her heart had never been so full.

She didn’t ask this time, and he didn’t whisper what he wanted to try. He let her go long enough to undress himself, and then her, just enough and not all the way. He was desperate for her as she was for him. After he’d done the responsible thing and sheathed himself, he pushed inside her. She was ready for him, and the pleasure that clasped her body was so intense it hurt.

He moved inside her, sliding and straining. Sweat popped on her brow and her toes curled as she wrapped her arms around him. He took her hard, letting his lust get the better of him, letting his instincts take over until there was nothing else. There was only her gasping breaths and her pounding heart.

She came around him, tightening in waves of pulsating heat. And he pounded into her, hard at first, and then even harder, until his own climax came. And it was more than just the act, or the scrape of his mouth on her cheek, the tangle of their interlaced fingers, or her legs clamped around him.

“I love you,” she whispered over and over again, “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Where else would I be?” He pushed away the sweat-plastered hair away from her face. “This is home.”

Maybe the night would hold a little more hope for them after all.

 

***

 

Something Sungjin had said to her stuck with her through the days, and Sky paced the workshop in slow but steady strides. Her mind spun around in circles trying to loosen the knots and pick the locks in her brain. Problems like these always worked her up into her best form. She was close to a discovery, she could feel it the way she felt a lock pick nudge a tumbler into place.

“Sharing is caring,” Wooyoung said, hanging upside down on his knees from a trapeze hanging from the ceiling. “What’s on your mind?”

Sky bit at her nail. “A magician is only as good as their secrets.”

“True.”

Her glance flit toward Taec who was half-obscured by his monitors and at Nichkhun who leaned, unfairly like a professional model selling something ridiculous like fancy manly cologne, against one of the many giant crates in the warehouse. For the past few days, they’d been regrouping and debating on what to do next. It was an arduous process despite their resources and their newfound reach. The next show had to be unprecedented. It was to be unlike any other before. Ace had a show in three more weeks, his biggest comeback since the accident. They had to do something before then. Ace didn’t just threaten her confidence. He’d threatened the entire crew that he would destroy them. And Sky would not allow him to hurt her family.

Sky met Wooyoung’s gaze, and he dismounted from the trapeze with cat-like grace. “You have an idea. It’s a good one. Probably a little mad, but those are always the best kind. Come on, what’s on your mind?”

 _You are magic_ , Sungjin had said to her. _They’ll realize the magic has always been you_.

“ _I_ am Ace’s greatest secret,” she said, suddenly beset with a strange sense of power. “I know everything. All his tricks. All his setups. Everything. I am literally his magic.”

Nichkhun’s lips curved into a devastatingly wicked smile. “A good magician is only as good as their secrets. And we’ve never been the kind to back down from a challenge, the coward wouldn’t know what hit him.”

Sky squared her shoulders. “Let’s do it. Let’s reveal all his secrets. Every couple of years someone does it just to make things difficult for the rest of us. One show. One perfect heist. Even if he does work again, he’ll have this shadow over him and he’ll be forced to top our show and he’s a shit performer anyway.”

“Doable,” Taec chirped happily from his seat. With a toothy grin, he raised his massive arms and stretched them behind his head. “That’s like stealing candy from a baby. I’m almost sad for his delusions of grandeur. Also, I have a plan laying around here somewhere. Just in case.”

Wooyoung’s smile was too giddy for the context. “Let’s go steal a magic show.”

 

***

 

It was the grand finale, Sky found, that was the most difficult of all. Sungjin hovered behind her, a most steady presence in her time of need. They were a full team: Wooyoung, escape artist. Nichkhun, mentalist. Junho, illusionist. Chansung, street magician. Minjun, former stage magician. And Taec, engineer. Sky was the spare—or as they liked to say, their secret weapon. The hidden card.

Sky methodically went over the process, going over each step slowly and carefully one by one. The time was right and she was ready, and yet her heart pounded loudly in her ears she couldn’t hear anything else. But she couldn’t give up now.

“Are you sure about this?” Sungjin asked. He and Dowoon were right behind her, her own personal emergency response team. Sungjin didn’t even think twice when Sky had asked him for help. On their days off, they’d join her in the workshop; they’d taken off days for her too. Sky would not disappoint them. She would not waste their faith in her.

Wooyoung was right. She trusted no one else but Sungjin with her life.

Her eyes ran down the length of the glass tank and at the pressure-hoses steadily filling it up with water.It was probably going to be cold too and she shuddered at the thought. She had not thought about this escape since after her accident. She’d had dreams about it, but she pushed them away and tried to forget. “I’m terrified.”

“I’m right here,” Sungjin assured her. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Somehow I can’t help but feel like this is a terrible idea.” Sungjin’s hand was warm on her lower back and she eased into his touch, not caring about the others in the room. “What if all I’m good for is my pretty face?”

“That’s what you think about after you’ve literally built all this?”

Sky breathed out a sigh. She’d spent the last week with Taecyeon and the team building their setups and choreographing their movements. Furthermore, she’d increased her training hours for this one show. She was going to attempt the water torture cell one more time. It was the only escape illusion Ace had not managed to perform perfectly thus far. Because of her.

And if she were successful, he never would be able to perform this escape ever again because she would have done it first.

The basics of the trick were not a secret, and many magicians have already done reveals and modern interpretations of the escape. It was simple: there was a tank, stocks, grills, manacles or chains, or whatever restrain offered the most threat. Then later, the escape artist would drop either feet first or headfirst into the tank filled with water, and the tank would be locked tight. The audience would be shown that the locks were all real. Death would be imminent. Draperies would veil the rest, or perhaps it would be open for all to see. Two minutes later, the escapist would appear as though by magic—as though they dematerialised from inside the tank and materialised elsewhere—wherever they so chose to take their prestige.

But Sky had her own telling. A story that was hers alone. Ace would not take that away from her.

“I won’t even be five feet away from you if I can,” Sungjin said, “I’ll be as close to you as possible. If you’re sure about this, I will trust you. So trust me.”

She did. Sky trusted Sungjin with her life, there was no way she would even think about attempting this without him. “I’m ready. Let’s give it a try.”

Wooyoung was waiting for her by the tank with the rope and locks; Taec and Chansung on standby by the pulleys. She shook out her hands and her feet, and willed her heart to stop beating so fast. Calm was what she needed. A sense of mind over matter.

“Ready?” Wooyoung asked.

Sky held out her wrists as Wooyoung wrapped and twisted the rope around her. It was the kind of knot that appeared complicated, but unravelled at a weak spot so long as one knew where it was. And Sky had an encyclopaedic knowledge of knots and fast hands.

“Headfirst?” Wooyoung asked, gesturing at her feet.

Sky sat on top of a crate and lifted her feet, suddenly aware of her freshly healed injury. How had she hurt her ankle? Was if from the fall? Was if from the lift? “Has to be headfirst.”

He nodded in understanding. “Try to get out of the thing first before we put you in the tank.”

“I’ve done this before. You’ve done this before.” Back when they were younger and trained under her father. This was the culmination of what could have been but never was.

“Baby steps, Q.”

“Hang me upside down. If I can’t get out in less than two minutes I’ll reconsider.”

 

***

 

Exhausted, Sky fell into bed with Sungjin who cradled her in his arms. She hadn’t managed to get in the water today, but all attempts at escaping and timing her movements had been successful. It was the baby steps that hurt the most. It was the slow trudging of relearning everything one painful measure at a time that frustrated her and tested her patience. First, she couldn’t breathe inside the glass case and she’d had air then. Second, she couldn’t will her body to go underwater. Third, she had shut down reliving the trauma of the night.

Sungjin kissed her temple as he cuddled her closer. “Go to sleep,” he muttered. “We can try again tomorrow.”

 _We_. Sky very much liked the sound of that.

“I can’t think of why it would have gone wrong the first time,” she said, finding the words thorny on her tongue. Wooyoung and Taec had been reviewing her footage from Ace’s show the past few days, and it wasn’t until today that Sky found the courage to watch it as well though she still looked away at that exact moment she had realized something had gone wrong. “I know I did everything right. The way it is now, it’s not that different from that night, and Wooyoung did the escape just fine.”

Wooyoung had trained to do the escape too, with her father first and now with her. She made him promise her that if she found that in the end she couldn’t go through with it, Wooyoung would do the reveal for her.

“He trusts you, that’s why. Do you think something else could have happened that night?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted, but now the thought had taken root and she reviewed the videos in her mind. “Do you think something happened, or someone could have done something?”

“I don’t know. There will be time for that. You need to sleep, darling.”

She closed her eyes, picturing the night so clearly it was as though she were there. She saw the restlessness and the excitement. She saw her hands overseeing every step of the process. She checked, double-checked, and triple-checked. The escape should have gone right. She saw herself and Ace on stage. He tied her wrists and her ankles, and attached her to the pulley. Then she was up in the air. Then she was submerged in water so cold the shock froze her for a solid second. There was pain, too.

Sky drifted off to sleep in a cloud of smoke and mirrors.

The epiphany hit her in the morning.

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

Tonight was either the first night or the last night of a limited engagement, and the Legend Crew would either go down in history as a collective madness or genius, or perhaps both for where did one draw the line at greatness?

Sungjin stood sentinel in the wings, watchful of every move around him andfunctionally invisible by nature of his EMT uniform. Instead of keeping his eyes on the stage where the performance was to be held, he kept track of hands and listened to footfalls aroundhim as the pre-show preparations bustled in a frenetic rush. He wasn’t the only one. Chansung and Junho lurked along the stage and backstage, eagle eyes even on the specially hand-picked crew for the job.

Within hours, everyone had heard about the show and the livestream. Taec kept them updated with the status outside and online. Word of mouth was always a better form of advertisement than posters with exclamation points and flashy pictures. Curiosity always had a way of getting to people, as curiosity was wont to do. No doubt, Ace had heard about this by now.

It was a singular opportunity neither Sky nor Ace could resist.

“I can’t remember the last time I was _this_ nervous for a show.” Sky appeared behind him, quiet footfalls and an even quieter voice. Tonight she dressed in shimmery red high-wasted shorts over compression tights, and a waistcoat corset underneath her ratty navy sweater.She’d done her stage makeup, too. Heavy layers to combat the harsh stage lights and to withstand sweat and later on her water torture cell escape. He hadn’t seen her with this much glitter on her face in a while, and yet she was still Sky as he knew her. Somehow, there was no more trace of the Sky he had met that first night. “I’ve been doing a routine that had no room for disruptions, everything about this feels like the first time. I do miss the outfits, though. Some of them. And the makeup. I like sparkles.”

Her lips were painted a deep red, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. “You look good in sparkles.”

“So far no one’s said otherwise,” she laughed, drawing his eyes to the red glitter heart under the corner of her left eye.

“Queen of Hearts,” Sungjin said, finally making sense of the nickname. “That’s why Wooyoung calls you Q.”

“The Joker, The Queen of Hearts, and The Ace of Spades. My dad was counting on a legacy, but he got this instead. You know, Ace and Wooyoung were assisting him as planted volunteers the night of my mom’s accident. That’s why we all got separated after. There was too much to unpack that night, and we were so young and afraid.”

“You were young. You were only seventeen. They were much older.” Hard to believe the accident had only been seven years ago. Sky had so much growing up to do, there were days he just wanted to take her away from all this harshness and give her the softness she deserved. But Sky wasn’t made of spun glass.

“Not everyone can carry the weight of the world as you do,” she answered, leaning back against a padded wall. “It all turned out fine in the end. After this, I suppose we draw the line again for a new singularity.”

“I suppose so.” Sungjin’s eyes darted across the overhead beams. Taec and Chansung had already checked the pulleys twice, but Sungjin couldn’t help but keep a close watch on the cables and levers anyway. “This is really happening.”

“You’re acting like we’re doing something illegal. We’re not. We could, but we’re not. Taec’s trying to keep us clean, model citizen that he is.”

A brow rose askance. “Have you done anything illegal?”

Sky answered with a sly curve of her lips and her forefinger running down the buttons of his crisp shirt. “I’m a bad girl,” she purred into his ear.

Sungjin raised his eyes and sighed. “Really? You’re doing this now? Right here?”

“I mean, if you push me against this wall, right over here, I don’t even think anyone’s going to see anything or hear anything.”

“Sky,” he laughed, pulling her into him and kissing the top of her head and breathing her in. “Don’t do this to me right now, I’m trying to focus on keeping you and your team alive.”

“I love you,” she said, eyes meeting his gaze in the shadows cast in the stage wings of their makeshift theatre. Thank you for doing this.”

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now. And frankly, I don’t trust anyone else to do this job. I love you, but you need to focus. I need you to focus.”

She pouted. “I am focused. I just need to take a few rounds around the tents because nerves, you know?”

He nodded and skated his hands up and down her arms. “I know. You got this. ”

She rubbed her wrists worriedly.

“Three minutes,” he reminded her. “If you’re not out of there in a minute and a half, I’m breaking the glass.”

“You promised me two minutes.”

“You can do it in one. I’m not taking any risks. I know what this means to you, but all of this will be meaningless if you—” Sungjin couldn’t even say it, couldn’t even think it. “If anything were to happen to you…”

She slid her hands up his chest to grab on to the collar of his jacket. “I need you to trust me. Because I trust you. And I’m scared, too. But I’m also brave because of you.”

“I do trust you,” he murmured into her hair. He couldn’t let his fears show, not now when Sky needed him to be brave. He schooled his features into his best mask of composure though he didn’t feel not even a bit of calm. “You can do this. You’ve done this in practice and you can this now. Go on. Get back there where the others are. I’ll be right here.”

“I’ll see you right after,” she promised.

“I will.”

He watched her disappear backstage where the rest of the Legend Crew had convened for their pre-show rituals. Sungjin stilled his furiously beating heart. It was half-excitement and half-fear, and he didn’t resist the pull this time.

Sungjin pushed the unease away from his chest and allowed trust to take its place.

 

***

 

The theatre tents were built and pitched on an empty lot at least an hour’s drive away from the city and yet Sungjin couldn’t see past the sea of shuffling feet and murmurs in the audience. The mere size of the crowd made him nervous, and there were thousands more watching the livestream. The challenge was simple and direct. The Legend Crew was going to perform Ace’s signature tricks their own way, all while revealing the secrets behind them. And then some, for Ace was a one-trick pony and didn’t have much in his repertoire.

It was Sky and Wooyoung’s personal vendetta, years in the making. Tonight there was reckoning to be reckoned, and this was the first of a series of truths to be unveiled.

Heavy red velvet drapes fell over the stage, recreating a traditional show as though round tables dotted the floors with white linens instead of a standing mosh pit of spectators with camera phones and banners. Sungjin wasn’t sure if they came for a magic show or a concert. A hush spread over the crowd, sparking a sense of anticipation in both believers and cynics. Once, Sky said to him, that the price of admission was worth as much as you were willing to suspend disbelief. No one came to a magic show not wanting to be fooled. You came in wanting to believe.

A spotlight illuminated centre stage where Minjun opened up the show with his white gloves moving like birds against the deep blue of his Oxford shirt, waistcoat, and dress pants. He performed the simplest of tricks and sleight-of-hand misdirections. Birds in cageswith false bottoms disappeared and silk scarves endlessly shot out from his special cuffs. Then he moved on to the same tricks but on a larger scale and much more fanfare and glitter bombs as the show passed hands between him and Junho who made it rain, stopped the rain, and disappeared into a silvery puddle before coming back with Chansung to show how it was done with mirrors and carefully timed lights.

Chansung’s bit was unusual but captivating, armed with acrobatics and death-defying stunts, he surfed on a wooden plank over a large wobbling tube while escaping from a straitjacket to the tune of a Beach Boys hit. It was the cartoon palm trees and ocean waves made with glitter paper and metallic sheets on a horizontal sliding pulley that sold it. Nichkhun came with a deck of cards and a promise that people saw what they wished to see, and in some cases they saw what they were told to see. Sungjin had no patience for his pretty face and his mind games, but it did send a chill down his spine how dangerous the pretty ones could be. Nichkhun made you believe he could read your mind, that his clairvoyance was part and parcel of the gifts he’d received, burdens he carried and paid for. He was a total performer who had his mark in the palm of his hand. He made you say what he wanted you to say, from picking a number between 1 and 10, to colours and animals and countries, he worked his way under your skin. And his big reveal—a social media post he’d made months ago, as though he had predicted this day were to come.

Wooyoung was the last to perform, presenting the water torture cell and Sky with him. Sungjin crept closer to the stage, as close as he could without disrupting the show. Dowoon was steady next to him, ready as he was for whatever was to come. Sungjin breathed in long inhales through his nose and released exhales slowly through his mouth.

Sky had injured her ankle when the pulley lifted her over the tank and a cable had come loose. She’d had to twist around in the tank in pain while untying her wrists to escape, but that was where it all went wrong. Sky hadn’t been able to get her hands free because Ace had their planted volunteer cuff and tie her hands differently than what they had trained for. But Wooyoung was in charge of Sky now, and Sungjin knew his trust was not misplaced.

The sequence came to him in flashes.

After the restraints were set, Sky was lifted feet up on the pulley before being lowered into the cell filled to the brim with water. Headfirst, she was submerged in the cell barely tall and wide enough to fit her. Wooyoung made a show of showing the boards that locked the tops of the cell were locked tight and the stocks could not so simply be hinged open.

Wooyoung waved the red satin veil over the cell eliciting gasps from the audience.

Then he waved the veil over himself, the rhythmic sway catching eyes and drawing attention to every swish of the fabric.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

As the red cloth drifted, ever so hypnotisingly in its feather-like descent to the floor, Wooyoung vanished.

So did Sky.

The applause grew, though some remained too stunned to clap. Quiet blanketed the stage, tense and electric like the flutter of sun-caught dust. The lights dimmed, and it took a while for eyes to adjust, but the flashes of the strobe revealed enough. One moment, the tank was empty, and the next Wooyoung was inside, hands and feet bound as he had done to Sky. And then tiny dots began to appear in the midnight velvet of their background like stars in the sky. And then the audience was sure. Wooyoung was now inside the cell, feet suspended in the ankle stocks as he twisted and turned and pulled himself up the top to climb out and present himself to the audience.

From beneath the red satin on the floor, a delicate hand rose like a leafling sprouting gently from the earth and Wooyoung took the hand and, like they had all the time in the world, revealed Sky in a sparkly champagne-coloured dress that winked and teased, and made you wonder if she were real or if she were truly made of magic and fairy dust.

The light was blinding, as was the applause that thundered throughout the makeshift arena.

 

***

 

After the performance had concluded, Sungjin navigated the crush of stagehands and crew in the theatre backstage with ease. He slipped through a curtained door leading back to the wings, avoiding Taec’s live video coverage and post-game analysis. There would be time for that later. First, Sky.

Sungjin found her with Wooyoung and Nichkhun, talking to a foreign woman in a power suit who handed them her business card. Sungjin stood to the side, a press of inevitability weighing down on his chest. Nichkhun and the woman spoke in English, and Sungjin didn’t need to hear half the conversation to know what it was about. The conversation lasted ten, fifteen minutes. The woman was determined, and it showed. To deprive the world of such a talent would be a tragedy. Sungjin could see, early as now, where this was going. Sky was not the type of specimen you kept in a box and displayed in a gallery. She was meant to fly free, go wherever she chose, do whatever she wanted.

Sky was happiest when she was happy, and seeing her burn her brightest on stage hurt him knowing he can’t possibly keep her from all that.

“Who was that?” Sungjin asked a few minutes later when Sky had returned to the dressing room where he was waiting for her. “The lady you were talking to.”

Sky fell into her plastic seat and pulled out a pack of special wipes to remove the makeup on her face. “Some agent. Las Vegas. Pretty fancy. Big names, too. Could you imagine, they actually want me there.”

“Not that far of a stretch of the imagination. You were amazing out there.”

She peeled off her false lashes and wiped away the glitter from her eyelids. “It all feels so unreal.”

“You’re taking it, right?”

She stared up at him, lips agape.

“Whatever it is she’s offering, you’re taking it.” It was less of a question and more of a certainty on his part. Sungjin would not be the one to keep her. He wouldn’t do what Ace did to her. “You want to go. I can see it in your face. You’re excited about what this could mean for you.”

“I am excited,” she said into the black smudges and gold specks in the moist sheet in her hand. “And I can’t believe someone’s actually expressed an interest in my work, but Sungjin it’s all so soon. I have time.”

“Some opportunities don’t wait.”

“I have, like, two weeks before she leaves the country.” Sky resumed removing the rest of her makeup. She spoke to him through the mirror. “She’s not waiting for a decision tonight. You sound like you’re making me leave right now.”

He stared at her reflection, her stage persona halfway fading away. “This is your best chance to chase your dreams. You don’t need two weeks to decide that.”

She arched a brow. “My dreams? And what do you know about my dreams?”

“I know you want to be the best.” She had said so before, in one of those quiet moments while they were folding laundry. “You want to be so unforgettable people willremember you generations from now and won’t believe you’re not immortal.”

She laughed a pretty laugh and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I did say that.”

“You don’t have to be afraid of this.”

Pulling a new set of wipes, she said, “Who says I’m afraid.”

“Try not to make any escapes before you’re truly there.”

“You’re scaring me, making me leave all of a sudden like this. Can’t you take me home first?”

Sungjin’s gaze crossed the room to where Wooyoung and Nichkhun were in discussion.It looked serious, and Wooyoung seldom was. “You have your post-show debriefing and dinner and drinks.”

She pursed her lips. “That’s really not the debriefing I’m interested in.”

“Sky.”

“I think you’re the one who’s scared I _will_ leave so now you’re the one pushing me away.”

He shrugged. She might have been right. “It’s a chance of a lifetime. This is what you’ve known all your life.” And Sky had known him only a handful of months. He loved her, and she loved him. But in the end, would he be enough? Sungjin could never give her the spotlight or the shine or the glitter. “You have a chance to go after something that could mean everything to you. And you should. You should take this chance.”

“I’m not going to just go and leave you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, resigned. “I just want to make sure that you’re not settling for a life here when you can be more.”

“You’re saying it like you just know I’ll regret choosing you over this. That there’s no in between. You're making me choose.”

“Because it is a choice. There is no in between. But if you followed your dream and still came back to me, we can both believe in that. I’d trust that.”

She stared at him for a long moment.

They couldn’t live this way, asking each other in far less words if choosing each other was the right decision, always questioning whether what they had existed in their vacuum alone or far beyond the reaches of the four walls of his apartment.

If their hearts were truly locked together, if no one else held the other’s key then perhaps they would make their way to each other again in the future.

He loved her. He loved her and he was certain of it. And he believed that she loved him, too. But there was too much at stake now. Sky shouldn’t have to live out the rest of her life caught in the shadows his love would offer.

He dropped to his knee and met her eyes. “If this lady had come to you before we even met, we both know what your answer would have been. It’s the same answer a part of you is already screaming out loud. I love you, Sky.”

After she gave it consideration, she nodded.

Everything was clear.

 


	19. Chapter 19

 

Sky moved out the next week. Slowly, at first. Starting with her trunk, which Wooyoung and Chansung had come over to fetch for her. Then it was her clothes, personal effects, little by little until there was space in Sungjin’s drawers again and until there was only one toothbrush left in his bathroom sink. The floor cleared up, and there were no more loose pieces of storyboards or schematics, no rope in knots lying around, or silk scarves hanging on backrests, and the one top hat with the forest green band was no longer on the sofa. Everything went back to the way it was before Sky crashed landed into his life.

Sad. Miserable. Boring.

As for the woman herself, she lay on his bed for what felt like the last time. Sungjin lay down with her, and they both stared at the ceiling in silence. If he tried to speak, he would have failed. There were no words for the emotions flooding his chest. So he kissed her.

How could he not? His heart pounded so hard in his chest, he felt like it would break his ribs and burst right out of his body. As though all his life, he had been saving all his emotion for one person, and one person alone.

Sky kissed him back, sliding her arms around his neck tightly holding him in place against her. “This isn’t goodbye,” she whispered into his ear. “Stop acting like it is.”

It felt like goodbye, and the words ran through his mind but Sungjin drove the thought away. He wouldn’t dare say the words out loud, instead opting to chase it somewhere away and squash it down like an unwelcome bug. How was it not goodbye when he was watching her leave?

He moved one hand to her waist, tugging at the fabric of his shirt that she wore. This shirt, his hoodie, and the yellow plaid was all she was taking with her. Sungjin would have offered her more even without her asking. He would give her everything, if it meant a constant reminder that she would always have him.

“Sungjin…”

She pushed gently at his chest, and despite himself he let her roll him to his back so she could climb over him. Sky straddled his waist, grinding against him before settling herself and anchoring her knees to his sides. Her hands ran over his chest, dragging his shirt up with them until she yanked it off his head and tossed it over her shoulder. Sky took his wrists and pinned them gently, but firmly, over his head.

She gave him a slow mischievous smile. “Just let me do everything.”

“You don’t have to do everything.”

“Oh, I will And you’re gonna lie there and take it. All of it.”

There was nothing more unnatural to him that to allow someone to take full control over him. For him to just lie back in bed and do nothing? But from Sky, the one woman he loved and whose happiness he swore to protect, he would take it. Sungjin would gladly make the sacrifice.

“I’m going to take care of you,” she whispered into his ear, teasing the lobe with sharp nips. “I’ll give you everything you need.”

Her breathy promise and the sensual glide of her fingertips sent chills racing down his scalp and into his spine. He let his head fall back against the pillow as her lips captured his ear and her tongue swirled over the curl of the shell. Her kisses traveled lower, giving him but one innocent peck on his lips before her wicked mouth blazed a path down his neck, the dip between his collar bones, and lower and lower still until she had divested him of all his clothes and settled herself between his legs.

His skin flushed with heat and he sucked a breath in anticipation.

After a long moment that felt like hours of nothing, he opened his eyes and glanced at her.

“You need to watch,” she purred. “I want you to watch closely.”

Only after he’d raised himself on his elbows did she run a fingertip in a long, slow pass from underside to crown. He shuddered out harsh breaths, finding purchase for his concentration. He was so weak for her.

Her hand curled around him in a proper grip and stroked just perfectly, once, twice, then her tongue skated over the tip and he was uttering blasphemies to the ceiling. Then he was inside the heat of her mouth and she hummed around him. That mouth was designed for sinning, he’d always known. Yet that mouth was also his salvation and he surrendered his control, his life, his everything to her. He endured another moment before his thighs went rigid and his stomach clenched.

“Sky.” He groaned again. “Sky…”

Every last thought fled his mind, and whatever he meant to say or do vanished with them. Her fingers dug into his skin, and she took everything he had in him and more. A blinding pressure broke through him and it was impossible now to wrap his mind around the stunning relief and torture. She did this to him, she made him take from her without shame or guilt. To this day, he hasn’t quite taken to it just yet, always preferring to have him buried inside her or in her hand as he came just so he could look into her eyes and kiss her. For now, though, he couldn’t just leave her wanting.

He lifted her face with gentle fingers. “You’re unbelievable.”

She kissed his palm. “I love you.”

“Will you let me take care of you now?”

She shook her head still, grinning impishly at him. Sungjin was about to protest until she silenced him by crawling over him as she undressed. No, of course Sky wouldn’t simply let him have his way once she had made up her mind.

She came up to him until her thighs straddled his face.

He gave a strangled groan, and her eyes met his. Sky caressed his cheek, a gesture so contrary to her wicked intentions.

Then she spoke, her words hot and devastating. “I’d rather take what I want.”

He pressed a soft kiss to her thigh, and another, and another, chasing the soft skin. He pressed a kiss above, summoning strength. She was sweet and heady, and lush and soft. She was sin and salvation, freedom and pleasure, and something good and something worse, and he was just lost in her. And she moaned and opened up to him as though she had been waiting her whole life for him as he had been waiting for her. He meant to make it all worth it. Always.

He let her direct his mouth to where she wanted him, let her press closer to him, let her use him however she so wished for him to pleasure her.

Sky was silken heat and lush promise as he worked her with his tongue and his lips. And she worked herself on him. He made love to her in those slow languid circles that drove her wild and made her gasp her pleasure. Sky was undone, grasping at the headboard as his tongue stroked over the swollen, aching centre of her. He wrapped his arms around her hips, pulling her closer, and she sighed his name again and again until she cried out and their world tilted until everything was right again.

How could he ever let her go now?

Sky curled under his arm, pressing her face against his chest and tangling her feet in his legs. In the morning, everything would change and Sungjin found he wasn’t ready.

 

***

 

Sky had left her keys on the table the following morning. He saw it as he was leaving for work. She’d left earlier than he had, something about needing to prepare before she met with the agent later that afternoon. He couldn’t stand to look at it so he left it where it was, the bear looking so alone and desolate. He hated to leave it behind, but he was afraid he might end up doing something embarrassing like cry at the sight of it.

When he arrived at work, Dowoon had looked at him so pitifully Sungjin wondered just how transparent he was. He did not take well to the sighs the younger one had been giving him, the pats on the shoulders, and the “It’s okay, it will be okay,” Dowoon offered him throughout the day.

“What am I supposed to do?” he said to Wonpil who joined him and Dowoon over their lunch break. “I can’t be the reason she doesn’t reach her full potential? I don’t want to hold her back. She deserves the world.”

“That might be the longest emotional sentence you’ve ever said to me,” Wonpil replied.

Sungjin scowled at him; continued eating. It wasn’t even hours and he was already going mad. How was he going to survive a full day? A week? A month? A year? They didn’t know the details of what the offer entailed, but Sungjin knew in his heart it wouldn’t be a quick and dirty deal. He and Sky hadn’t even talked about it in detail yet, what with Sky busy with moving her things to the studio, the studio busy dealing with the aftermath of what they had done to Ace, and the newfound following the Legend Crew had gained after the stunt they pulled. There was simply no time, and Sungjin couldn’t find it in him to demand for any more of her attention.

What was he going to do without her?

“The paramedics licensing test,” Wonpil said, as though he read Sungjin’s mind. “Doc wanted me to remind you. So, you know, you move on from being an EMT. You’ve been studying, right?”

In little bursts whenever he could, more so while Sky had been busy with the crew and during downtime in the ambulance. Now that he would need something to occupy his mind, he could commit to more study hours and the necessary classes. He wouldn’t wallow in sadness because he was missing the love of his life.

But Sky would return to him.

She had to.

And he had to believe it, else he really would go mad.

Younghyun dropped into the empty seat between Wonpil and Dowoon, and Jae dragged another chair and swung it backward and straddled the seat, resting his arms on the backrest. When was the last time they were all together like this? Did he really look that bad that his friends all found it in them to drop by his lunch hour to check on him?

“Brother mine, you look like a disaster,” Jae said, adjusting his glasses with a twitch of his nose. “There, there. You did the honourable thing.”

“You couldn’t be selfish this one time?” Younghyun asked, gesturing at him.

Sungjin sighed. “I love her.”

The hand Younghyun had raised dropped to his lap. “And there we have it. Park Sungjin has fallen, truly, madly, deeply, desperately in love.”

“So what now?” Jae asked, hanging his chin over his arms. “You’re going to do the long-distance thing?”

“Why not?” Wonpil answered, “You don’t think they can?”

Jae shrugged. “She’s just so…so far away, man. I mean, sure at first she’ll call you every night. But then it becomes every other night. And then it’s once a week, then once a month, and then it’s when she remembers, until oops? No more relationship.”

Younghyun swatted Jae’s skinny arm with the back of his hand. “Don’t go putting ideas into his head. He’s fragile. He’s heartbroken.”

Jae shrugged. “I’m just being realistic here!”

“Why can’t you just go to her?” Dowoon suggested.

Sungjin didn’t even think about that. The thought never even occurred to him at all. This was home to him, after all. This was the life he knew.

“Or is that not a good idea?” Dowoon continued. “It’s not like we’re going to miss you.”

“We really won’t,” Wonpil allowed, “I mean, unless you’ll miss us. Is that why you didn’t even think about leaving? Because of us?”

Sungjin rubbed the top of his head, regretting now he’s ever made friends with these people. What could he have possibly done in a past life to be stuck with these people in this life?

“I mean,” Jae said with an offhand wave of his fingers, “We get why Sky has to go, and why you let her go. But why didn’t you offer to go with her?”

“Because I don’t want to stand in the way of what she could become. And I don’t want her looking over her shoulder for me all the time. She deserves her freedom. I told her to go and I meant it. She’ll come back.”

He clung to that thought. Sky would come home to him.

She _would_.

Wouldn’t she?

“I mean,” Younghyun offered, “if that’s what she wants. That _is_ what she wants, right?”

It was what Sky wanted.

Wasn’t it?

They were quiet for a moment until Dowoon sighed and spoke the words all of them—Sungjin, included—were thinking. “You’re the smartest idiot I know, and I mean that with all due respect. Sir, did you even ask her?”

They were quiet again for another long moment that stretched the seconds they felt like days. Sky took what she wanted, never asked or never waited for it to be given to her, but Sky, the real Sky, was also just a girl who longed for one thing.

Sky was a master of misdirection. She hid behind her beguiling smiles and those cherry painted lips, but the truth had always been out there for Sungjin to see. Ever since the day he met her, Sky had only wanted the one thing—

To never have to put on a show ever again.

To have someone she could just be herself without the mask.

The Queen of Hearts wanted love more than anything.

Sky wanted—needed—a _home_.

Sungjin rose to his feet, nearly kicking the chair to the side, and his friends snapped to attention. “I have to stop her.”

Jae perked up, “Say that again?”

“Well,” Sungjin stumbled on the words. “Not to stop her. At least ask her if she’s sure this is what she wants. And if she’s sure, then she’s sure. But…”

“But?” Four of them repeated after him, leaning toward him like cliff divers ready to jump off into the deep blue ocean below.

“But if there’s even a chance…” If Sky could give him a chance…

“Bro! You gotta go. Like right now.”

“Go!”

“We’ll make something up.”

“Go get your one true love and godspeed!”

Sungjin tore through the hallways, heading straight for his locker and grabbing his bag and car keys. He drove through the city, gratuitously disregarding traffic laws where he could get away with it. He had no idea where to find her, but if he could find clues at home, perhaps an address, a phone number, anything at all, he could still make it in time.

He ran through the stairs, impatient for the elevators, and jammed his key into the front door. He staggered inside, not bothering to kick off his shoes he barely noticed how he stumbled on a pair of worn-out white sneakers.

“Sungjin?” A familiar sultry voice rang through his home. “What happened? Why are you home so soon?”

 _Sky_.

 


	20. Chapter 20

 

Sungjin was a mess.

These were words Sky had never imagined in the same sentence together unless the words _cleaning up_ or words having to do with hate and loathing were somewhere in between them. He certainly hadn’t shaved, and his uniform was unbuttoned and disheveled, and how fortunate was he that he didn’t have any hair otherwise that would be a mess, too. He was red and panting like he ran all the way up here, and he didn’t even bother taking off his shoes.

And the expression on his face? Priceless.

She lived for it. Sky loved him.

“What’s wrong?” Sky asked again. The last time Sungjin was home this early, he had been a different sort of mess. “Is there an emergency?”

Sungjin took a shaky step toward her, shook his head. “What are you doing here?”

Assuring all was well, she picked up the bear from the table. “I forgot my keys.”

Sungjin’s eyes darted between her and the keys in her hands. Then at the front door and back. “How did you get inside if you…?”

Sky lifted a brow. Was he really asking her that question? Now of all times? _Really?_

At this point, she was never letting him go.

Understanding dawned over him and he shook the revelation away. “You’re here.”

“I’m here,” she reiterated patiently.

Sungjin moved toward her slowly. So slow as if she were an illusion and if he moved too fast he would disrupt the smoke and the mirrors and he’d lose the image of her. Then he was standing in front of her, gazing at her face and running his eyes all over her as though he were looking at her for the first time. It hasn’t even been a day.

“Sungin? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I…” He tilted his head, losing his train of thought. “I left early.”

“You…left early?”

He nodded. “I was going to go find you but I didn’t know where you were so I hoped you left something behind so I know where to look for you.”

“You could have called?”

He bit his upper lip, ran his tongue over his teeth, and then licked his bottom lip. “I wasn’t really thinking? And what I have to say…on the phone…what I have to say I can’t just say on the phone. It wouldn’t be right. Sky…I…”

“You could have called and asked to meet with me instead?” She loved teasing him far too much only because he let her. What was he going to do if he hadn’t run into her? Wander around like a headless chicken? Would he think to visit the workshop first? Because that was where she was headed.

He stuttered to a stop. “That’s…that’s right. I should have thought of that.”

“You look terrible,” she said, smiling.

“You look beautiful.”

Sky took the compliment. From Sungjin it always sounded so sincere no matter what she was wearing or how she looked like. Even now in her favorite jeans and simple white shirt and jacket, Sky felt beautiful. “I’m here now. What was it you wanted to say? Because I have so many things I need to tell you first.”

Sungjin blinked at her. “You go first.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded.

Sky took a deep, calming breath. Then shoved him. Hard.

Startled, Sungjin stared back at her with wide eyes. He rubbed his chest, staring at the point of contact. He gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish’s, spluttering a “What was that for?”

“That’s for making me leave.” Sky stalked toward him and shoved him again, and again, and again, gently but with enough force to back him into the sofa where he landed when his knees knocked into the seats. “How could you just make me leave? Just like that?”

Sungjin’s back sank into the backrest and he gazed up at her with big eyes and a blank expression on his face. “I—I didn’t want to hold you back?”

“How could you just throw me out into the curb like that? How could you, Park Sungjin!”

“I…I would never…Sky…I didn’t want to be like that guy who kept you in a box. I wanted you to be out there, fully as yourself because you deserve the world. I don’t want to be the one to keep you here. I couldn’t.”

“And you never would.” Sky dropped into the coffee table across him. “Can’t you see? You never could. You’re the one who set me free. And you’re right, I do deserve more but I can do all that here and have everything I want and could ever want. So don’t _ever_ make me leave.”

“I didn’t want to be selfish.”

Sky reached out for his hands. “You are the most selfless person I have ever met. I think the universe would allow you just this once to be selfish.”

“Then don’t ever leave,” he said, circling his thumbs over her wrists, looking at her with eyes that broke her defenses.

“Good. Because I’m not leaving.”

"You changed your mind?”

She had met with the agent this morning to politely decline her offer. It wasn’t a waste, as far as Sky was concerned. There was still so much she could do here with Wooyoung. More importantly, she was not going to just leave immediately after finding what she had been searching for all her life.

“My mind was made up the moment you asked me in the dressing room after the show. You asked me what my answer would have been if I were given this opportunity before I met you. Sungjin, before I met you I was chained so tightly to Ace I knew nothing else. I would have said no because I would have been too afraid. I wouldn’t even consider it because I wouldn’t know how to leave or survive without him. Because of you, I’m not afraid anymore. It’s only because of you I got up back there at all. That even if I failed, I could come home to you and it would all still alright. I tried again because I knew you would bring me back to life if the worst were to come.”

“But it didn’t. Because of you. _You_ did that.”

She smiled. “Only because you were watching.”

His brows drew together. “So you’re really not leaving?”

“No. I don’t want to go. I wish you’d asked me first.”

“But…”

“I have everything I could ever want and more here. I have you, I have Wooyoung and the crew, and I have your friends, too. I have a _family_ who loves me and will take care of me.I have a _home_. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted.”

He opened his mouth to speak. Then shut it.

“I know you wanted to give me a choice, but you inevitably made the choice for me when you pushed me away to take the offer. I was hoping you’d figure that out, but I should have known how you were thinking about the entire situation.”

He laughed. “I’ve been told I’m an idiot.”

“Good. This is for you.” She pulled out a set of keys from the pocket of her jacket. “I moved into my apartment yesterday, I just didn’t know how to tell you yet because you were being mopey and grumpy.”

“You’re giving me keys to your apartment?” He lifted the set of keys held together by a keychain—a Queen of Hearts card. “You have your own apartment? How? When?” he asked incredulously.

“And studio,” she answered matter-of-factly. “And now you have keys. So you can drop by whenever you like.”

His eyes were almost pleading. “You don’t have to move out.”

“And I don’t want to,” she sighed. “But Nichkhun says I’ve never lived alone in my entire life so it would be good for me to do that. He says it’s character building and it’s something that I can afford to do now so I should. And it’s the healthy adult thing to do. Taec and Wooyoung agree, too. But yeah. Even if I end up moving back here in six months, or whatever, it would still be a good experience for me. And…I want to.”

Sungjin made a face, twisting his lips into a grimace. He sighed again, resigned. “I know he’s right, and I agree you should, but does he have to be so smug about it?”

Sky moved over to sit next to him, snuggling against his side, linking their arms, and settling her head over his shoulder. “I’ll probably drop by here a lot, and you can come over any time you like. And you can help me shop for stuff and decorate and things. Sungjin, we’re not…we’re not breaking up or anything. We’re still…well we haven’t decided on that yet, have we?”

He nodded dazedly at her. “No, we haven’t done that yet.”

“Well, that’s one more thing we need to do.” She swung her foot up, catching Sungin’s ankle and lifting their feet together. “There’s also that thing with Ace and the lawyers and the insurance company.”

His ears perked up and he bent his head to look at her. “What about it?”

She told him about what had transpired the past few days. Taec had sent in an anonymous tip as soon as he had learned Ace had filed for an insurance claim over Sky’s accident. They had gathered enough evidence against him that proved he sabotaged the show himself and meant to harm Sky enough to cause a commotion for a publicity stunt.

Sky finished off her story with, “So, yeah. I guess now I got all my money that he withheld, all my stuff, my dad’s journal, all my patents—they’re my patents now, can you believe?—and then some. It was a pretty check with a bunch of zeroes. Like, a lot of zeroes. Also Ace is going to jail.”

“Wow.”

“I know,” she said, “that’s a lot of stuff that happened.”

Sungjin pressed a kiss on her temple, hot and lingering. “I’m sorry I made you leave. I didn’t want you to.”

“I know,” she said, patting his knee. “You’re really bad at feelings. What are you going to do without me?”

“This is probably why you should never leave me.”

She laughed and climbed into his lap. “Don’t give me ideas. By the way, there’s one more thing.”

His eyebrows lifted. “What is it?”

She looped her arms around his neck. Her heart was soaring. “How do you feel about med school?”

He stilled. “Sky. No.”

“Yes,” she said, “Yes. Sky, yes. Do you want to see the zeroes on that check?”

“Sky, no…”

“Yes. Take it. Just take it.” She shifted her legs to straddle him, then she took his face in her hands. “Just take it. Don’t make me go start up my own scholarship foundation where you are the sole benefactor. That’s too much work. Just take it and go to med school.”

“I…I don’t know what to say…” At least five expressions went through his face, and Sky didn’t even have names for half of them.

She pressed her forehead against his. “Sign something that says you’ll never leave me. Wait, no. That’s horrible. Sign something that says you promise to give Sky mind-blowing orgasms whenever she wants. You’re contractually obligated to make mad, passionate love to me—“

Sungjin caught her mouth in a kiss. “I don’t have to sign anything for that. But Sky, are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure.” She kissed him. “You are my dream. Your dreams are my dreams, too. If you want this, I’ll do whatever I can to make it happen.”

His big hands wrapped around her waist. “You don’t think I’m too old to go back to school?”

She scoffed. “Oh, please. Last night says otherwise.”

“Sky.”

“I love you. Please just let me do this for you. After everything you’ve done for me? It’s the least I can do.” She kissed him again before he struggled or complained.

“I think I liked you better when you were broke.”

“Oh, trust me. This is way better. I get to spoil you rotten.”

“And you don’t have to pay me back for anything. I told you this before.”

“I have to. You let me steal your clothes.”

"Because you didn't have any. You didn’t have anything.”

“It was everything to me because you gave and gave even when I had nothing to offer in return.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say nothing…”

“Really? We’re going there?”

“I love you.”

He smiled into the kiss and the cool silk of his lips felt like heaven. She gripped his shoulders and pressed her body tight into him. She kissed him back, sinking fully into his embrace and savouring each other. Like this, they fit together so perfectly Sky couldn’t be more sure. This was where she belonged. With Sungjin.

Saying nothing more, Sky let the moment wash over her. This was her singularity. From now on, there was only Before Sungjin and After Sungjin. All the uncertainty, the anxiousness, and the hope, she was ready for them all because they would be together to have this kind of contentment. This kind of happiness and the warmth and safety of Sungjin’s embrace. The peace he brought and the softness he offered was more than enough.

They stayed like this for a long while, just breathing. That’s all they did. Breathe.

“So what happens now?” Sungjin asked, “If a magician is only as good as their secrets?”

Sky nudged his nose with hers. “A great one can make you believe in magic anyway. Even after all the secrets have been revealed.”

He smiled a little. Then his expression grew solemn. “Then you really must be magic. You found a way into my life when I didn’t even have doors or windows on my walls.”

She laughed into his kiss. “You forget, I’m a master escape artist. I don’t need doors or windows.”

“No, you only needed to open your heart.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

_One year later_

Sungjin jogged down the steps of the university’s main building, backpack bouncing against his spine as he made it to the bottom of the steps. He heard a classmate call out for him, but he waved him away without even so much as a glance. It was a Friday night, and Sungjin had other priorities.

Like the raven-haired woman in skintight jeans waiting for him outside. Sky leaned provocatively against his pickup, and his eyes took in her platform boots, her shapely legs, the flare of her hips, the dips of her waist, and the curve of her breasts above the flat expanse of her stomach hinted at by the soft fabric of her top. But it was her eyes, those lovely brown eyes, long fluttering lashes, and her red lips and inviting smile that had him completely taken.

The woman was definitely flirting with him.

“What are you doing?” he asked, half-amused by the attention Sky was receiving. He heard his name from some of his classmates muttering behind him.

“Obviously, I’m picking up my boyfriend from school. Gotta let everyone know you’re already taken.”

“Sky, they know I’m very taken.”

“Are you kidding me?” She raised a brow in disbelief. “You in that white uniform? You look like someone’s really dirty fantasy come to life.”

“Someone?” he said with a suggestive waggle of his brow. He took a step closer and anchored his hands on her leather jacket.

Sky lifted her arm and dramatically pressed the back of her hand to her forehead and swooned. “Oh, doctor, I’m not feeling so well. I think my heart is about to burst, you see you’re standing too close and you just smell so good.”

He pulled her closer and dropped a kiss on her lips. “Don’t you have a show tonight? Let’s get going.”

“You’re no fun,” Sky teased, opening the passenger side door for him. “Get in. I’m driving.”

“You already drove here. Let me drive you to the club.”

But it was too late, Sky had already rounded the pickup and climbed into the driver’s seat. “Deal with it, darling. Maybe next time.”

Sungjin curled his fingers into hers as they made their way to the club not that far away from the university. He lifted their interlaced hands and pressed a kiss on the back of her hand. “How was your class today?”

In the mornings, Sky taught a beginner’s magic class for kids. She said she hated it, but it was her idea from the start. She set up the after class program and oversaw every step of the process and taught half the classes herself; the other half Nichkhun taught, and while Sungjin still had his qualms about the guy, Nichkhun was magic with the kids. And the moms. And the aunts. And the older sisters. Even the grandmothers.

“I hate kids,” she muttered. “Why did I think this was a good idea.”

He laughed. “Because it’s nice to have a non-conventional creative avenue?”

Her words, not his.

“How was class?” she asked, driving into an unnaturally busy street lined with warehouses.

“The usual. It’s class. It doesn’t really change much over the days. I miss you, though.” The past few months had been more difficult than usual, but they made it work somehow. They had too been busy, more than anything, but together they found ways around it.

“Oh, wow. Did I hear that right?” The corner of her lips curved into a smirk that was also a smile. “I think my hearing’s going bad. Must be all those immersion escapes—“

“I miss you, Sky. When are you moving back home?”

She laughed this time, but she sighed softly afterwards. “You say that like I don’t spend half the week at your place and you don’t spend the other half in mine. But, since we’re at it, the answer is next month. So clear out your drawers because I have a lot of stuff.”

He smiled at that. “Are you bringing your trunk? I miss it.”

“Unfortunately, that one stays at the studio from now on. It’s a hazard, especially to the accident prone.”

Sky parked the pickup at the back of a warehouse, right along a row of cars and a couple of vans. Sungjin did a quick change of clothes while Sky shamelessly watched him. Then after that they headed inside where the Legend Crew was set up for the night. They met with Jae and Dowoon in one of the lounges.

“Do you regret med school yet?” Jae asked as soon as he saw Sungjin. “Because the ER misses you, not gonna lie. No judgment if you come back. We will welcome you with open arms wide open.”

“Not yet,” Sungjin shot back, but his eyes were soft. “Wait for me a couple more years. You think you can survive that?”

“Bro, where else would I go?”

Dowoon nodded at him and passed him a tankard of draft beer. “I got a new EMT today, she’s no fun. She doesn’t sing when she’s happy. I don’t think she sings much at all.”

“That only means you’re the one who has to do the singing,” Sky said, leaning over the backrest of the seats. “Are Dr. Younghyun and Wonpil coming?”

“Yeah.” Dowoon nodded. “They’re on their way. Do you know what kind of miracle it takes to synchronise nights off like this?”

Sky nodded sagely. “Oh, trust me. I know. I’ve had to cash in a couple of favours from the universe.”

“Can you survive that?” Jae asked, pushing his glasses up his face only to poke his eyes because he wasn’t wearing them tonight. “The universe is the source of your power, you magical unicorn mermaid princess you.”

“Oh, please,” Sky said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I didn’t think I’d survive love and look at me now. Anyway, I need to go backstage now, but you boys enjoy the show.”

Sungjin leaned back, hanging his head over the backrest to look up at her. “Break a leg, but not literally. But if that happens, you’ve got the best emergency team you could ever ask for in the house. You’re in good hands.”

Sky dropped a kiss on his lips. “Thank you, most kindly, but the most dangerous stunt I’m pulling tonight will be trying to avoid paper cuts from all those cards. I’m taking it easy tonight with the big tricks.”

“You’re still magic to me,” he said, pulling her back down for another kiss, despite the increasingly violent protests from his friends.

Sky laughed, threading her fingers into his hair. “Now I know for sure you’re in love with me if even that counts as magic to you.”

He rubbed their noses together at that odd angle, his lashes kissing her cheek. Sky wasn’t wrong. Real love was magic, after all.

 

 

 

**THE END**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt/cc @ d6dreams
> 
> Sky’s little speech on the three acts of any magic trick is from The Prestige (2006)


End file.
